Carrotsarelies - I Make Up Lies When My Friends Ask To Meet Up

I've been collecting these for a few weeks and I NEED MORE

The Last Hours gang as Michael Scott quotes:

Cordelia

James

Lucie

Matthew

Anna

Thomas

Christopher

Alastair

Grace

Tatiana

Dean and Cas are both nightmare PTA parents, because their usual personality issues are switched. In this setting, dean is the one who causes problems on purpose (flirting with pta moms, homewrecking) and cas is the one who is like “i must control everything.” 

The slippery slope of shared involvement in this organization is that cas develops a vendetta against a rival mom named Helen, and takes dean, who is just having a fun time flirting with the moms & being a homewrecker, and recruits him to run interference and gather intelligence on her campaign for PTA presidency while CAS launches his OWN ruthless campaign for PTA presidency. 

Importantly, nobody knows the first thing about either of them,

because they are trying to live simultaneously in the smalltown settled-down world and also their world of incredible violence

Nobody knows what the angry trenchcoat dad’s deal is because they have never had a normal conversation with him 

but the moms speculate WILDLY about dean

and they hear weird things from their kids who know Jack

But in order for the scheme to work, none of these women know that Cas and Dean are associated with the same kid, never mind with each other.

So,

Keep reading

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

My dog does this sort of half bark thing that sounds a bit like ‘bruh’ so my mum started calling him Hercules Mulligan

hey, pssst. ride the cyclone fans.

you totally shouldn’t click on this link because it totally won’t take you to a google drive folder which totally doesn’t have a full copy of the 2016 production of Ride The Cyclone which definitely isn’t in full 1080p

because that would just be terrible

ohhhh the detail of Finbar being Skug's nephew is inchresting 👀 though it makes me wonder if in your hc they know about it?

They do!

See, Finbar and Skug always felt like kind of an odd relationship.

Finbar isn't the sort of company Skug normally keeps - if you look at basically all his friends (except Scapegrace, who adopts him in much the same way a dirty stray cat adopts a random family) they tend to be very classy, highly intelligent, vaguely olde-worlde, verbal sparring sorts. Finbar is a punk rock stoner who barely knows where he is half the time and constantly forgets that Skug doesn't know his wife. But it's never mentioned how they met, or why Skug trusted Finbar enough to leave his emergency cache with him, or why Finbar sometimes treats Skug like family (i.e., calling him his kid's "Uncle Skulduggery").

So in my headcanon, it goes a little something like this:

Like? Petulance meets her husband while she's fixing planes for the brits during World War I. He's a pilot. They marry in the middle of the war, say ~1916.

Finbar is born ~1938, and once the war starts, he's looked after by his father's parents during the daytime while Petulance is working.

~1940. Petulance's husband is shot down in a dogfight. Finbar is the one who tells her daddy is dead - days before the authorities turn up on her doorstep to officially tell her she's a widow. She's inconsolable. Skug comes over from Ireland to support her, which is the first time he's ever met her son. He offers to bring her back to Dublin, set her up with whatever she needs, but she doesn't want to uproot her son from from his dad's home. Skug stays to help out, because she's struggling, and she's his favourite, and he has never not been there when she needed him.

1941. Height of the Blitz. She gets a call at some silly hour of the morning - her MIL has had an accident and has been admitted to hospital. She leaves toddler Finbar in Skug's care while she goes to be there for her MIL.

She never comes home. The hospital is a direct hit. Finbar is an orphan.

He's too little to really have a say in his custody. Skug makes the same offer of support to Petulance's FIL, if he'll raise the boy. The old man doesn't want to stay in London without his wife and son, so he takes Finbar and goes back to Ireland with Skug, away from the war. For most of Finbar's childhood, he's raised by his grandpa, with a generous monthly stipend from Skug to make sure they don't want for anything. There are very occasional, sporadic visits. But Finbar looks like Petulance, and most of the time Skug just...can't. It's too raw.

When Finbar's visions start getting more upsetting and more frequent, grandpa doesn't know what to do. He's aware of magic, but he doesn't trust it, and he prefers to pretend it doesn't exist. Eventually he reaches out to Skug, who pulls some strings at the Sanctuary to get info on Sensitives in County Dublin and - oh, how fortunate - finds one he knows. He puts Finbar in touch with Cassie, and she trains him to use his magic responsibly.

She's a hippie in the 60s, and when the 70s and 80s come around, Finbar gets really into the punk movement and feels like he fits in somewhere for the first time and becomes just. Really rooted in that whole subculture, which is a huge difference between him and Skulduggery "Got Tortured To Death For And Gaslit For A Century By Government, Continues To Work For Said Government" Pleasant, but also gives them something to bond over, because. Petulance was a revolutionary; she had Strong Opinions on Irish independence, she was a suffragette, she would've been very proud of her highly anti-establishment son. And that's bittersweet for both of them.

As with all Handbook stuff, I share credit with @thats-so-craven