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Justice League Audit

The Flash honestly didn't know what to think about their current situation as the prime members of the Justice League, their biggest hitters, were just yanked from their homes and put into costume in a courtroom. A young man with white hair was halfway into a briefcase, legitimately halfway up to his waist in the briefcase, who pulls himself from it with multiple stacks of papers. "Good Evening, Justice League, or morning depending on when you came from. My name is Daniel but please call me Danny and I have been appointed to your case for simply the severity of the case."

"Severity? What are we being charged with," Batman grunts as he studies the room and the man.

"Charged? No no, you're not being charged with anything just yet if at all. I should specify why I'm here. My name is Danny and I head a recent addition of the Multiverse Auditing of Space and Time."

"MAST," Flash says in deadpan.

"An Audit," Batman's voice drops in tone, "Auditing us for what?"

"Excellent question, Mister... Batman," Danny says has he looks over his papers. "At MAST we monitor and maintain the spatial and temporal curve which is affected by choices made by the inhabitants of this dimension. This including but not limited to unsanctioned time travel, planetary destruction on a massive scale, large scale mental manipulation, cosmic entity manipulation, cosmic entity death, manipulation of the balance of life and death, supernatural tax evasion, unpaid child support and abandonment of duties in all forms."

Flash pulls on his collar uncomfortably as Danny mentions time travel, Batman ignores him as he continues, "And if this audit shows that we are in need of charging? What then?"

"It all depends on what is being charged but majority of them can simply be nullified by undoing what was done; paying your child support, making good on your deals and agreeing to exchange a number of your years as compensation for the death of the entity in question. In the event these terms cannot or will not be agreed to then the being in question will be black-marked as persona non grata and will be garnished for the rest of their natural life."

"That... seems rather lenient," Superman states as he's thinking over what was said.

"What is being garnished and what is persona non grata mean on a multiverse standpoint?"

"Until the black-marked individual reconciles their debt with MAST, no afterlife will accept them, no supernatural entity will make a deal with them, loss of any power used in the charge that gained them the black-mark."

He picks up a red folder and takes a seat on one side of the desk, "Now, Mister Flash, while you're not the most heavily audited on todays list you had unfortunately put more stress on one of our employees at MAST. I have here that you're being accused of 186 counts of unsanctioned time travel."

"186?!"

"BARRY!"

"What the crap?!"

 sub au for my Danny has Talia au

 Damian finds out he has siblings as in Elle and Dan because of time travel shenanigans. It's an accidental future time travel Damien has taken over as phantom, Ellie with the hero name Wrath and Dan as banshee.

The bat family is meeting the future bat family and Damian off-handedly mentioned Ellie and Dan. The family expects these two to be future adoptees when he drops the fact that they're on a mission with his mom. They start asking if Talia is now an ally and Damian says technically but they're on a mother-child bonding trip that they've Disguised as a mission. It's after this that Damian drops another bomb on the fact that both of them are his full-blooded biological siblings.

The bat family starts asking where the hell they are in their timeline. Older Damien looks his father dead in the eyes and shrugs. He has Danny's chaos.

I think it would be really funny for them just to find out how the three of his kids are doing in whatever timeline this is happening.

Damien is a hero named Phantom that the family later learns is taken from Talia's hero name that they didn't know she had and he uses Lazarus Magic( it's ghost Zone/ infinite realms Magic).

The daughter Bruce didn't know he had is a antihero named Wrath who he later finds out accidentally became a chaos God.( all of Talia and Bruce children have the potential to become gods but he does not know that)

A son using the code name banshee that Bruce was not expecting that nonchalantly talks about The Times They were evil And the fact they've probably ended the world multiple times.

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

Gotham water is toxic as shit, and the biggest bill people have is buying bottled water from other places so that they can drink water.

Until.

A new invention gets introduced, from a kickstarter.

It takes off, and practically overnight becomes the next big thing, the creator becoming a millionaire.

But he doesn't run off with the money. He actually makes the invention and starts up a legitimate business that has payment plans for anyone.

The invention?

A filter that attaches to the sink faucet, or goes in the water towers (there's large versions for this). It uses moon rocks along with other weird things to filter, but test after test confirms that it creates the purest, healthiest drinking water.

The inventor is Tucker Foley.

What's actually happening is that there's tiny ecto blobs hidden in the rocks, which are actually from the moon (Danny ate the radiation off of them), and those little ecto blobs fucking love the toxins in Gotham's water. They'll eat 'em right up.

Problem; now the water companies that were making a living overcharging Gotham residents are hiring hitmen to take Tucker Foley out.

f̣̩̟̣̬ͪ̕ụ͕̖̺ͦ̈̽͢ṅ̘̙̫̯̣͚̰̥͗̍̐́ ͕̝̳̮̳͌̀á͔͙̈̐̚̕n͙̰̫͋̎͋͟d̸̫̝̲͈̂̿ ̾̌̃҉̬̫̲s͆̀͏͍͖m̥̟̞̳̏͠i̗̟̩̪͎̲ͦ͐ͬ͝l͖̞͎̙̇̔͟ë͔ͥ̈́ͮ͢ͅš̰̲̯͖̼̘̲̎͞ .

FACTS. Good to know.

Suffered THE WORST insult today

“You may use AO3 but you’re a Wattpad girl at heart”

Danny accidentally appearing out of Duke's shadow. And doing it purposely every time after that. ; requested by @kyrianclawraith! (deviated from your original prompt a bit, sorry! the ghostlights brainworms got away from me)

Traveling through shadows has become second nature for Duke after using them so extensively over the years. He even uses them as a civilian, hopping between shadows when he’s running late to class so he doesn’t have to stress out over traffic. 

Not even Batman’s scoldings can stop him from making it on time to his classes. Risks need to be taken for the sake of his education!

The shadows are comforting. They hide him from sight, get him to where he needs to go, and gives him the alone time he needs when he’s been around people for too long and desperately needs some quiet to recharge. Duke would say that he’s well versed in the shadows at this point, no longer stumbling out into the light.

Even with all his practice and confidence, he still can’t prepare himself for tripping over someone in the shadows while he’s trying to escape some of The Riddler’s goons. 

They both go tumbling out of the shadows, landing in a corner hidden by storage shelves. The poor tripping hazard of a person is under him, groaning lightly as he reaches up to press a hand to the back of his head, where he hit the concrete floor. 

“Oh, shit,” Duke whispers, “I’m so sorry. What are you doing here? How are you here?”

“I was hiding,” the guy hisses back at him. “I wanted to get out of the rain and dozed off and when I woke up, guns were being shot! I was up in the rafters, so excuse me for thinking no one would find me up there!”

Another gunshot rings out, alarmingly close to where they are.

Duke curses under his breath, then picks up the guy and hauls him over his shoulder. “Time to go!” And then he’s disappearing into the shadows again, following the line of them outside the warehouse and down the street. 

As soon as they’re safely away from the goons, Duke steps out of the shadows and carefully sets the civilian back onto his feet.

“So sorry about that,” he says, “But I need to get back and deal with them. Stay safe!”

He’s gone before the civilian can say anything else, and though it’s embarrassing that he tripped over someone while shadow hopping, at least it ended relatively well. It’s not like it’ll happen again.

Duke, sweet, naive Duke, doesn’t think much of the civilian again. He’s a busy guy with a busy life! Lots of things to do! Lots of embarrassing moments to keep secret from the other Bats! No one has mentioned it at all, so he thinks he’s safe from being teased about it.

That is, up until he’s training with Dick and a hand pops up out of his shadow.

“Um,” Dick says, backflipping away from Duke’s punch. He lowers his escrima sticks and squints at the space behind Duke. “Are you… trying something new with your powers?”

“...No? I’m not using my powers right now.”

Dick looks more and more alarmed. He won’t look away from the space behind Duke, and it’s making him nervous. He doesn't want to look, but he knows he has to. 

Steeling himself, Duke takes a deep breath, then turns slightly to see what’s behind him.

Nothing. 

His gaze goes down, and he sees a pale hand sticking out of his shadow, moving back and forth. It then comes out some more, up to the elbow, and the hand pats the ground Duke’s shadow lays on, a stiff mat perfect for sparring.

Behind him, Dick turns on his escrima sticks, the electricity crackling through the air.

The hand disappears for a moment. 

Then two hands appear and grab the ground, hauling up a body from Duke’s shadow.

Duke is very well versed in shadows. He travels through them almost daily. He thinks he would know if there was some strange netherworld hidden in the shadows where other beings could pop out of shadows like portals. This is alarming, to say the least.

“Don’t move, Duke,” Dick warns, creeping closer, ready to attack.

A head pops out of his shadow. Whatever it is glows and their white hair moves softly as if underwater. They’re facing away from him, so he can’t see their face, but he can see the black, skin-tight suit their wearing as they float up from his shadow, no longer needing their hands to pull themself out. 

“Huh,” they say, looking up at the ceiling.

Dick grabs Duke’s arm and pulls him back, shielding him with his body. “Who are you?” he demands, voice cold. 

The creature/person startles and whips around to stare at them with wide green eyes. His gaze darts down to the electrified escrima sticks, then back up again, visibly nervous.

“Um, hi! Sorry, I didn’t know anyone would be here. Wherever this is.”

“How did you get here?”

“I was practicing a new portalling method. I found a ghost to teach me how to move through shadows, since my usual portals are very bright and noticeable. Not great when you’re trying to be stealthy! I did not mean to end up here.”

Duke stares at him. “You came out of my shadow.”

“Sorry,” the guy repeats. Then he squints at Duke. “Hey, didn’t you save me the other day? From the warehouse?”

It’s been a while since Duke’s saved anyone from a warehouse. Criminals and goons have moved on to condemned apartment complexes and the back rooms of bars. The only person he’s saved is the tripping hazard…

“Man, what is up with you and getting caught in my shadows?”

“This is your fault!” the guy insists. “I associate shadows too strongly with you! That’s why I’m here! Probably. I don’t actually know how this works.”

“You don’t know how it works but you did it anyways.”

“It sounds bad when you say it like that.” The guy floats down to the ground and offers Duke a hand. “I’m Phantom, by the way! Figured I should introduce myself because this will happen again.”

Duke considers introducing himself as the Signal, but Danny is looking directly at his bare face, so it’s lost cause. Talk about an unexpected security breach. “Duke. You looked a little different when we first met.”

“Yeah, that was my human form. This is my ghost form.” A watch on his wrist, some clunky looking thing that looks like it came from the early 2000s, beeps and Phantom frowns at it. “Shoot, I need to go. I’ll see you later!” And he dives right back into Duke’s shadow, disappearing.

Duke blinks at the empty space where Phantom used to be, still reeling from the shock of it. He’s so busy processing the last few minutes that he doesn’t hear the escrima sticks turn off until Dick is dropping a heavy arm around his shoulders, holding him in place. There’s a smile on his face, but it’s not happy; it’s a warning that he’s at his limit and is barely hanging on to niceties.

“So,” he says as Duke cringes, “Looks like we need to have a talk about the things you’ve been hiding from us, Duke.”

He can’t do anything but resign himself to his fate.

After that conversation, he’s instructed to let them know when Phantom pops up. Which is fine until he realizes that Phantom really did mean it when he said that it’ll happen again. 

Phantom pops up constantly. Most of the time, Duke is lucky enough to be at home, or in the Manor, or in the Batcave away from the public where no one will freak out about a glowing boy popping out of his shadow. Sometimes, he’s in the middle of the street as a civilian and has to sprint away, ducking into the first empty alley he can find in order to climb up onto the rooftop where no one will see him.

It’s stressful and confusing and he wishes he could be more upset about it, but Phantom is fun. He’s funny and charming and tells the craziest stories about ghost fights that Duke can’t help but hang onto every word.

He dutifully updates his Phantom Log, noting each time he’s portaled through Duke’s shadow, any information he’s revealed, and an injury count after Duke noticed a concerning pattern of Phantom often showing up after he’s been in a fight.

Duke begins to get a feel for when Phantom is about to show up. A shiver runs down his spine and his awareness of the shadows around him grows. Sometimes, he could swear he could feel something tear apart in his shadow. He feels it then, a tear that stitches itself up almost instantly, a ripple in the shadow, before that familiar hand pops up again and Duke grabs hold of it to haul Phantom out into his bedroom. 

He is, once again injured. There’s a large gash running down the length of his other arm, bleeding a toxic, glowing green. 

“Dude,” Duke says, unable to keep the judgment out of his voice.

“You should see the other guy,” Phantom snorts. “I slammed him through five streets, then ripped his limbs off.

“Dude…”

“Just to be clear, they weren’t his real limbs. He has a robot suit he uses like a body because he’s like a tiny little bean.”

“Yeah, I don’t know how to take that. Anyways, have you still not figured out how to open portals that aren’t connected to my shadow?”

Phantom shrugs. “Nope. And I’m not really trying to figure it out. I like hanging out with you. Plus, it’s nice to see a friendly face after a fight.”

“Can’t you like, go home and have your family take care of you first.”

“Uh, better not,” Phantom laughs nervously. “They’d probably kill me for real if they saw me like this.”

Duke quietly notes to himself to add that statement to the Alarming Things Phantom Says list. 

“Does it… bother you? Me always coming to you?” There’s a smallness to his voice, a fragility that makes Duke want to beat himself up for making Phantom feel like that.

“No! No, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t keeping you from anyone else.”

Phantom brightens. “Oh! Well, no need to worry about that. No one’s worried, back home. They know I disappear sometimes.”

…Another concerning thing. Duke is considering bribing Phantom into staying in Gotham forever, living in his shadow, just so he can take care of him. Just to be sure Phantom’s safe. “Is there anything I can do for you?” he asks, eyes flickering down to Phantom’s bleeding wound.

Phantom futilely tries to hide the wound with a hand. The green blood leaks out from between his fingers, and he applies more pressure to the wound with a faint wince. “Nope! All good here. I’ll heal in no time, honest.”

“Then, do you want to just hang out? I really don’t know why you’d chose to keep coming to me.”

“You’re good company, dude. Very chill. Very fun. And you’re a hero! That’s so cool. Why wouldn’t I keep coming back?”

Duke shrugs, not sure how to put his insecurities into words. He’s already starting to get the Bat-specific inability to communicate emotions, which is definitely a problem. He’ll need to spend time with other people to be normal again. 

As if sensing that Duke’s mood is falling, Phantom launches into another tale, complaining about people who bother him, teachers who are terrible at teaching, having snark-fights with the embodiment of Time itself, and so on. He always has the craziest stories, and he tells them so casually that Duke has to second guess himself, wondering if he’s overreacting when he’s shocked by what Phantom tells him. 

He starts telling his own stories as well, mostly fun civilian interactions he’s had since they last spoke, villain fights, the ever changing theories on the ‘Who is Batman Sleeping With Now?’ shared document all the other Bats have. By the time an hour passes, Phantom’s arm is fully healed and he’s flying in lazy circles above Duke.

His watch beeps again in the middle of him recounting the insane drama happening at his school. Phantom sighs and sinks back to the floor, hovering just above Duke’s shadow.

“Thanks for letting me stay,” he says, voice warm.

Duke shrugs. “You’re good company. I like when you visit.”

A slow, soft smile spreads across Phantom’s cheeks, making him glow even brighter. “Sweet talker,” he accuses fondly, then flies in for a quick, tight hug. He pulls back before Duke can reciprocate, and salutes him with a cheeky, “See you soon!” and is gone, flying into Duke’s shadow before he can respond.

Shaking his head fondly, Duke falls back against his bed.

Despite how unconventional their friendship is, he is glad Phantom keeps coming back. He hopes he’ll get to see Phantom’s human form again.

…And get more used to the horror movie scene that is Phantom clawing his way out of his shadow. No matter how many times he sees it, the sight still makes him jump.

Not that he’s ever going to admit that.

If Phantom thinks he’s cool, he’s going to do whatever he can to keep that impression from changing. It’s only reasonable, really.

(“Shut up, Dick,” he says later when he recounts this encounter with Phantom. Dick just keeps laughing, endlessly amused that Duke got ‘jumpscared into a crush’ as he phrased it. That’s definitely not what happened.

Next time, he’s definitely convincing Phantom to scare Dick with him. 

Revenge will be his.) . . .

[send me ghostlights prompts! one day left before they close on 11/17]

Head Cannon

Bruce never actually learned how to act rich till he was already in his early 30's due to traveling for training and still forgets most of the stuff he learned because he so used to just focusing on his family and being Batman. The perks to being rich? Your rich! There are no other perks!

Dick was raised in a circus, and despite joining Bruce and the world of rich at a young age, Bruce still doesn't teach him anything about being rich other than how to act nicely and how to hide from paparazzi,

Jason is notoriously from Crime Ally, he knows less about being rich and how to use the power of being rich, he will learn the proper way to act like he has money, just to do the exact opposite because F the rich. And Steph has the EXACT same mindset

You would think Damian knows how to act rich and all the perks to being rich because he's the famous Al Ghul the demon head's grandson right? Nope, he trained how to kill people and how to lie, not how to flaunt money

Tim drake is the only Wayne that is raised on what it's like to be rich and rich perks and sucky parts. You want to get into that one really exclusive club on 14th Street? The one with the 4 month long waiting list? Tim could bring you and 10 other people and still get in without a reservation. Tim can tell you how to properly mix 40 different types of alcoholic drinks because rich people are obsessed with alcohol . Hell you want a free drink just join Tim at a bar near the diamond district because people who are famous get 2 bottles of whiskey free of charge.

for my birthday this year, my friends and i did a drunk photo competition portraying norse legends. the rules were simple: after you pull a random prompt, you have 10 minutes to create the picture with household items. while shitfaced of course.

anyway, here is my team's low budget rendition of jörmungandr rising from the sea during ragnarök.

featuring me as the head of the sea serpent (left) and my brother as loki (right)