[ I Crave A Love That Drowns Oceans ] -K. Azizian

[ I crave a love that drowns oceans ] -K. Azizian

🌱… description: You and Anakin have had a rough time lately. The secret of being together has created some tension, but theres more to the burdens on Anakins heart. it appears to be that even the tiniest things can make you both want to explote at eachother, yet somehow it only happened until today.

🍵 … warnings: none? Just a bit of fighting with eachother, maybe intense feelings.

🧳 … character/s: Anakin Skywalker x Reader

☕️ … word count: around 1k ; | date: October 8th, 2023

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a/n: more of this beautiful anakin x reader dinamic i have going on in my head. Disclaimer: i didn’t read it after finishing, so i apologize for any typos :p In other news, im looking for beta readerssss here's the post!

You and Anakin had been at it for what felt like an eternity, your voices rising in anger and frustration. The argument had strayed so far from its initial topic that it was almost comical, but neither of you found any humor in the situation. Your secret relationship as Jedi was a constant source of tension, and lately, it seemed like every conversation had the potential to turn into a battle.

Anakin paced back and forth across the small confines of your room, his eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed. "I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this," he snapped, his voice laced with irritation.

You sat on the edge of your bed, your hands clenched into fists. "Because, Anakin," you retorted, your voice shaking with frustration, "I wish you would just talk to me.” You looked at him in disbelief, you were being tormented by an amount of uncomfortable emotions getting out of control.  “It's like you're shutting me out." 

He stopped pacing and turned to face you, his blue eyes ablaze with anger. "I'm not shutting you out," he said sharply. You were dismayed by the tone of his voice, yet you decided to just take a deep breath and let him talk. "I'm protecting us, protecting our secret." 

Tears welled up in your eyes as you stood, your voice trembling. You were not going to allow him to make up excuses for the way he was acting towards you. "It doesn't feel like protection, It feels like you don't trust me" You confessed as the words blasted out of your mouth. Your heart ached, you were outraged. Anakin and you haven't been able to truly connect with each other in a long time since the war had a toll on the time you could spend in each other's company. And it seemed that frustrations were reaching you both, as any small inconvenience seemed to make you both want to explode, except that somehow you had never fought until today. 

Anakin's expression softened for a moment, but then his defenses went up again. "It's not about trust," he argued. "It's about following the Jedi Code. We can't afford to let our emotions get in the way."

You took a step closer to him, your voice demonstrating your new demeanor, now calmed and passive. You knew that adding more fire to fire would only make it worse, someone had to be the adult in the situation. "Since when do you care about that, Anakin?” You make a quick silence as you look him in the eye. “We're not just Jedi. We're people too. We have feelings, and we can't keep pretending like they don't exist."

He looked torn, caught between his duty as a Jedi and his love for you. There was something else bothering him, he wasn't telling you the whole story. But letting him open up slowly would be the best course of action for now. "I know," he said quietly. "But we have to be careful. We can't let anyone find out about us." That wasn't it, he was still not telling you what was truly happening to him. 

The frustration was not boiling inside you anymore, yet it decided to hide away. A small sigh left between your lips, loudly enough for him to hear. The tears you were holding back seemed to be gone, just like the anger you felt moments ago. "I understand you are worried about others finding out," You were careful with your words. Your tone was warm and sincere. "I just want you to be honest with me, to let me in." 

Anakin's eyes softened, and he took a step towards you, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm scared, Y/N," he admitted, his walls finally starting to crack.  Now this is what you should have been talking about from the start. You noticed he wasn't looking you in the eyes. "I'm scared of losing you." 

Anakin was the living proof someone could live in constant internal dissonance. Right now, was one of those moments where he was chasing clarity but was left with a puzzle without all the pieces. That's where you come in. You help him find those pieces so he can put them together on his own. 

You reached out and took his hand, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'm scared too," you whispered, burying your face in his chest. "But we'll figure this out together. We can't keep fighting like this." 

One of your hands slowly moved towards the back of his neck, caressing gently, as your eyes met his once again. “Look, I can't make promises I may not be able to keep.” You whispered while trying to find the words to comfort his worries. “But I can promise you I'll always be here for you, for as long as I can.” His arms were keeping you close to him, scared, almost desperate, as if once he lets you go you'll be gone forever. 

The tension slowly melted away as you both clung to each other. You were now playing with his hair, trying to sooth him. Anakin's grip was firm, as if he could draw strength from your presence alone. Yet, you didn't need to use the force to feel the turmoil in him, his conflicted emotions like a storm raging beneath the surface. He didn't need to say it again; his fear of losing you was palpable. Instead, you felt his heart pounding against yours, his breath coming in uneven intervals.

His voice, when he spoke, was raw with emotion. "I just don't know how to navigate this, Y/N. It all seems so suffocating sometimes… I can't imagine a life without you in it." The blue eyed man was truly being tormented by something you don't yet understand. A fear that ran so deep… The only connection you could make with his past was the loss of his mother; a loss you knew scared his heart.

You moved one of your hands to his cheek, understanding the weight of his words. Anakin was a Jedi through and through —even when he was impulsive and impatient by nature—, bound by duty and honor, and yet he was also deeply in love with you. The conflict within him tore at his soul.

"I know, Anakin," you whispered softly, "We're treading a treacherous path, but we're in this together. We'll find a way to make it work." You hoped that your words represented what he needed to hear, you hoped they could give him the reassurance he needed. 

The brunette nodded against your shoulder, his grip loosening just slightly. "I can't lose you, Y/N. I won't." The last two words that came out of his mouth worried you, very much. You were afraid of what he was able to do in order to prevent that from happening. You knew every inch of Anakin Skywalker, like the palm of your hand. Even so, you didn't know where to stand, something in you was screaming. This was the opening you needed to help him navigate through his feelings. 

You smiled gently, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "And you won't. But you dont have to carry this burden alone. Come.” 

As Anakin and you moved to the bed, you found yourselves in a simple yet inviting quarters within the Jedi Temple. The room was a reflection of your life as a Jedi, with a hint of individuality amidst the serene surroundings.

The walls were adorned with soft, muted colors, chosen to promote tranquility and mindfulness. A large window stretched across one side of the room, allowing the soft, golden light of the setting sun to filter in, casting a warm glow over the space. The view outside offered a glimpse of the Temple gardens, a reminder of the beauty and serenity that existed within these hallowed walls.

The room was sparsely furnished, with just the essentials—a neatly made bed with simple linens, a small meditation cushion in one corner, and a low wooden table that served as a makeshift desk. A few personal items from missions adorned the tabletop, including small trinkets and mementos collected from different planets.

On a nearby shelf, there was a collection of well-worn books, each with a story and knowledge from the worlds you had explored during your Jedi missions. These volumes were a source of both solace and wisdom, their pages filled with experiences from other Jedi’s that had shaped your understanding of the galaxy.

Beside the books, a stack of notebooks lay neatly arranged. These journals held your thoughts, reflections, and observations about your life as a Jedi. They chronicled the struggles and triumphs, the doubts and resolutions, offering a glimpse into the inner world of a dedicated Jedi.

As you and Anakin settled onto the bed, the room seemed to envelop you both in a sense of calm and contemplation. It was a place where the burdens of being a Jedi could momentarily be set aside, a sanctuary where love could bloom amidst the memories of the past and the uncertainties of the future.

You proceed to cuddle in the middle of the bed. Anakin hugging your body, while you played with his hair. Your voice was a soothing melody that wrapped around Anakin's heart like a warm embrace. It carried a serenity that seemed to flow effortlessly, a tranquil river of understanding and empathy. Your words were spoken with a gentle cadence, each syllable carrying a weight of genuine affection and love.

As you uttered, "Let me help you carry this," your voice resonated with a sincerity that went beyond mere words. It held a profound tranquility, a calm assurance that you were there for him, ready to share the burden of his emotional turmoil. Your voice was a balm to his troubled soul, a reminder that in your presence, he could find solace and acceptance.

In that moment, your voice acted as a beacon of unwavering support, a testament to the depth of your feelings for Anakin. It was a voice that whispered promises of understanding and devotion, assuring him that together, you could face whatever challenges lay ahead. He finally opened up. 

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