Love To All The ‘scary’ Caretakers

hey shout out to plurals with "frustrating" or "socially bad" traits.

plurals who seem indecisive, "hot and cold", disloyal, dishonest, etc. to others due to subtle switches, passive influence, being median, amnesia barriers, etc. between headmates with very different opinions, wants, and moods

plurals who have headmates with "scary" attributes/symptoms, like hallucinations, delusions, anger issues, hypersexuality, low/no empathy, selfishness, need for attention, etc. especially those afraid they're perpetuating the "evil alter" stereotype

plurals who never know who's fronting. especially those with memory barriers, those who struggle with feeling any sense(s) of personhood, and/or those who struggle to keep close bonds with people due to this

plurals who struggle with meltdowns, tantrums, outbursts, pathological demand avoidance, poor sense of social norms, and other tendencies/issues that make being social or just existing in public difficult

plurals with fluctuating sexualities and/or triggers that make it difficult to remain with a partner/partners (or to date in the first place)

plurals who infight in-system and have trouble making decisions without intense internal backlash

plurals who have trouble keeping self care (and may go out of the house dirty/disheveled) due to other mental illness or due to frequent fronters being unmotivated, forgetful, or having sensory issues or triggers that interfere with self care tasks

plurals whose "self defense" relies on people pleasing, avoiding stressors, getting overly defensive, or getting angrier than "reasonable"

i write a lot of this cause i need to hear it, and i figure others do too. you are loved, you are appreciated, you deserve to be a part of society, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be understood and given patience... you deserve to be able to create, love, heal, be respected, be treated like your own age, to lead, to have a voice, to feel safe.

Traumagenic and endogenic headmates aren't enemies by the way. Sometimes they play Minecraft together. Sometimes they hold hands. Sometimes they kiss. Sometimes they cover work shifts or school for each other. Sometimes even within the same system. This goes for disordered and nondisordered systems too btw.

in one of your answers you mention “The Four Co’s of Functional Multiplicity”

would you be willing/able to expand on that a little bit? /nf gen

I intend on making a whole post on this tbh!! So ill give you the basics- If you want, you can send in another anon with “hey this is the anon that asked for expansion on the four co’s” and Ill answer it directly with the link for the post when it goes up! Or just ask to be mentioned when it goes up- whatever works for you, works for me!

The Four Co’s of Functional Multiplicity are basically the four skills that you need to use in order to thrive as a system. They are as follows ;

Co-Consciousness

Co-Habitation

Co-Purpose

Co-Support

I’ll go through these in simple terms bc of said long post but basically

Co-Consciousness : this doesn’t necessarily mean everyone fronts at the same time, but refers to the passing of everyday memories that are important to function. Due to our trauma/types of trauma, it can be dangerous to share trauma related memories, so those are usually kept close to each alter and are worked on, in therapy, with said alter. Things we personally share are things like appointments, important dates, plans that are made, important events in our life (such as high school graduation), routine changes (such as getting a job), and self care memories (showering, eating, if we took our meds etc).

Co-Habitation : Quite literally- getting along and conflict resolution. For us that looks like openly communicating between alters, trying not to fight/torture/abuse each other, sharing time when asked or explicitly stated (such as X alter wanted to front to do XYZ activity, so they get to front for that), using polls to make big decisions, roundtable meetings on a weekly basis (which we struggle with, despite knowing how much it helps us), and learning healthy debating techniques (bc there is such a thing as healthy debate). This is one we struggle A LOT with, so I dont have the best outline for it.

Co-Purpose : Coming together to live a life worth living. This means things like a collective identity, working together to try and find a job we all like, deciding how we date, deciding where to live- stuff like that. We also struggle a lot with this one because, well,,,, we all have our own goals, and not all of us are willing to put that aside. So co-purpose also includes properly grieving that you simply dont have multiple bodies so you can’t just have “multiple purposes” if that makes sense. Like you can, hobbies and sharing time exists, but we can’t exactly split up and go to college or work in the fields we individually want. Does that make sense? Idk ill go more in depth in the actual post.

Co-Support : being there for each other EVEN IF you dont all get along. Helping others with coping skills, extending kindness to even the most ““evil”” alters. This one is so self explanatory that I wont even go into it more than this for the sake of the future post.

BUT YEAH!! Those r the four co’s of functional multiplicity!! I hope that answers it good enough until the post, godspeed.

On this day twenty years ago, Rose Tyler tried to find out more about the mysterious man known as the Doctor by googling "doctor". Iconic shit.

May, 1945 - Dutch resistance members celebrate when they hear the news of Adolf Hitler's death over the radio. [original] and [colorized]

who let this bird on the train

Dissociative amnesia is most often retrograde! This is why lots of people don't realize that they have more severe amnesia than they think.

What I mean by this is let's say your persecutor part switches in and says some horrible stuff. It's not necessarily that you (whoever was fronting before/the host) weren't there for those actions, but rather after the fact, the brain compartmentalizes those memories to stay with the persecutor part.

And adding onto this it can be localized, selective, or generalized (which is what often clues people in that something is seriously wrong and often only occurs during times of severe stress)

While dissociative amnesia can be anterograde (blocking the formation of new memories) that is seen more in dissociative fugue states or during active trauma.

I cna tell im a system because wjhenever i hit my head relaly hard on the wall i hear screaming and noise complaimnts from The people

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tumblr is basically a gay bar in a mental institute