"Sweet You Got It Dude." Takes A Knife And Starts Crushing The Garlic, Next He Minces The Onion. "I'll

undertale \ youtubers 

mettaton \ pewdiepie 

papyrus \ jacksepticeye

sans \ markiplier

napstablook \ cry 

incomplete list of weird shit sans has done:

put a quantum physics book inside a joke book inside a quantum physics book inside a joke book inside a potentially infinite number of quantum physics and joke books

plague papyrus’ life with incidental music

create a self sustaining tornado made of trash

put a flashlight without batteries into the bulb socket of his lamp

chug an entire bottle of ketchup which is apparently a regular thing for him

teleport back and forth a short path to follow you and then act like you’re the one who’s following him

work like 5 sentry stations but is either not at any of them or asleep on the job and yet keeps getting hired at new sentry stations

sell water sausages in hot dog buns for 30 g a piece at his sentry station

stack said water sausages in hot dog buns on your head if your inventory is full

but only up to 29 sausages. 30 is just excessive.

sell concert tickets made of toilet paper for you and shyren’s concert

write “sans” on a lump of snow as a snowman

write “sans” on his face as a halloween costume

ride a tricycle down a highway that can keep up with the racecar papyrus is driving

break into the underground’s most expensive restaurant to have a private talk with an 8 year old

said private talk consisting of “I could kill you if I had to. actually nvm I’m rooting for you kid”

“you’re not dead so I did a great job at keeping you safe right?”

come across a giant door hidden deep inside the woods where he’s supposed to patrol for humans and his first thought is “man this would be great for practising knock knock jokes”

he practises his knock knock jokes on actual doors who the fuck does that that’s so cute

judge the trustworthiness of someone he’s never seen face to face based on how much they like bad jokes

the conveniently shaped lamp

when you reload your save multiple times in the hallway in pacifist route he tells you a series of code words and the code words are “I’m a stupid doodoo butt” and “I’m the legendary fartmaster”

instead of giving you the key to his room he retcons it onto your keychain

when he gives you the key he all dramatically says “It’s time you learn the truth” but when you go to his room you get stuck on a treadmill with a note that says “the truth is that you got owned, nerd…..”

whenever he says he’s going somewhere he walks off in the complete opposite direction

in pacifist end when everyone’s interrupting your fight with asgore he moves next to toriel by floating off the top of the screen and then reappearing from the bottom instead of just walking over like a regular fucking person

sometimes he runs a comb over his completely hairless head

this:

Alfred thought for a moment and smiled, maybe I should visit Pennsylvania. "I do know how to cook but the reason I don't really do it is because...I get lonely from time to time...to me it wouldn't make sense to cook for just yourself." Alfred set down his knife, face going blank, showing no emotion. "I'll take a visit to Pennsylvania sometime then, thanks for the advice Daniel."

“Sweet you got it dude.” Takes a knife and starts crushing the garlic, next he minces the onion. “I’ll be quite honest I probably haven’t had a good home cooked meal since I was with…” Alfred stops mincing and thinks. When was the last time he actually had a good home cooked meal?

Alfred's eyes widen, taking a couple steps back away from the mysterious man. "What the hell!" Dude I swear if this is one of England's magic tricks or whatever then he got me, but if not...then the hero is screwed...big time." He gulps, starting to shake from the ominous glare from the other man.

Hm.... interesting..... very interesting man.

“Dude what the hell are you?! Are you a villain?!” Alfred asks the man getting into a defensive position, not really sure of what might happen.

IF WE'VE NEVER INTERACTED, SEND ME ONE!

"Hi, I’m ______."

"Oh fuck! Are you okay?"

"Crap! Sorry about that! Wasn’t looking where I was going. Here, I’ll get you a new jacket…"

"Need a ride?"

"How are you?"

"Seems like we’re gonna be stuck on this train for an extra three hours."

"What’s your name?"

"Thank you."

"You just saved my life!"

"Move the fuck out of my way."

"Watch where you’re going!"

"Asshole."

"Would you like anything?"

"You’re gorgeous.”

"Do I know you?"

FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR OWN!

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Do it for the children

this may come as sad news for some of you but Outer Space is Gay. all of it

"Haha anytime dude!" He laughed. Alfred wondered what England was doing right now. He figured not to play a prank on England since Mason didn't want to do that...but should he tell Mason about him and Arthur dating or not?

Alfred wiped away the tears and looked at Mason. “Yeah I’m fine just remembering some past memories.”

Alfred looked at Mason shocked. "Wow dude...so you never did anything like that before huh. Reminds me of when me and Mattie bro were younger, we always played pranks on each. Of course England being England, he would always yell at me and Mattie but in the end he laughed about it afterwards." Alfred remembers back on his younger years and smiles.

“Oh come on dude it would be fun! Don’t tell me you never played any pranks on someone before, or at least thought of pranking someone?” Alfred laughs, thinking of pranks to play on England.