Bugishere - Bug

"Hold on, let me slither into something a little more comfortable." I say putting on a suit made of someone else's skin.

i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper

I just got a job at McDonald's. When do I get to meet the clown?

Y'all get it

I’ve decided that I have no desire to be hot. I want to be alluring, ethereal and slightly mysterious. Something that might make you question the existence of fairies if seen in the woods at night. Something that remember people of classic paintings of river nymphs and sculptures of greek goddesses

I just heard the most anguished cry of "noooooooo!" From a kid in the bathroom at my work. Should I be afraid?

See, this actually makes a lot of sense, because if you think about it... Shrimps is bugs.

mer!Naruto vers

Day 27.

Oh and:

Talk to men.

So far today at work I've had to:

Clean blood off of a door,

Manage three entrances by myself, all very far apart,

Learn how to turn off the handicap lock,

Let two groups into the building at the same time, from opposite doors,

And catch like, 30 seels in Pokémon Go.

I got here two hours ago.

I love informing people that the song "Macarena" is about a girl named Macarena who's implied to be sexually promiscuous and the reason they remember the chorus as being made up of nonsense words is because it's in fucking Spanish and they haven't heard it since they were ten. I love the look on their faces.

Why would u call him that :(

under the ocean floor there is hoarer