So I've Quit McDonald's... Time To Tell About My Second Secret Job.

RULE NO. 1 OF WOUND CARE: ignore itttt :33

*learns basic social skills well into my 20s that most people know by the time theyre like 11*

Oh and:

Talk to men.

So far today at work I've had to:

Clean blood off of a door,

Manage three entrances by myself, all very far apart,

Learn how to turn off the handicap lock,

Let two groups into the building at the same time, from opposite doors,

And catch like, 30 seels in Pokémon Go.

I got here two hours ago.

Fucker.

the cdc said we can kiss each other on the mouth

T

Tweeter dot com?

But My Brother In Christ...

Have you considered that maybe...

I also want to see the Horsies?

people wanting tumblr clout is so funny to me. like girl you're fighting for a window seat in the clown car

Took me years to understand the "why the long face" punchlines to "so a horse walks into a bar" jokes because I just thought that's a normal sized face to have if you're a horse. It never occurred to me judge a horse by the standards of man

Waiter? For me, your yummiest slices of meats & cheeses. For the lady one yucky berry