A beautiful character manifesto in a time when manifesto no longer exist..
Doumeki Chikara
Doumeki is one of the most complex characters we have in manga and anime. Always, when talking about Ssezuru we focus a lot on Yashiro San, he is not only the protagonist but he managed to make us all fall in love. But let's talk about Doumeki, a man who, due to his physique, already at the age of eight, stopped receiving the affection of his parents, with very beautiful and strong moral values and a discipline and determination that few have. Imagine being a child wanting to be hugged and no one does? that was Doumeki. A sister arrives, who learned to love from her but grew away from her because Aoi's attitude was suspicious and for him uncomfortable. Doumeki is a man who sees everything but with his sister's situation he wanted to be blind. Perhaps because he was young, too young to face it. That your sister fell in love with you? It must be something very difficult to process. We can't blame him, he was just an affectively deprived teenager.
Doumeki who as a young man beginning his adolescence was raped by a school employee, his physique was perhaps that of a man but his mind was not and he develops a paralysis before someone's sexual advance (for example, in the first encounter with Yashiro San, his attitude of becoming completely still when Yashiro attacks him may be a product of his trauma, just like with the teacher, he did not push him away at the time of inappropriate contact).
Her sister was not sexually assaulted by a stranger or a teacher, it was his biological father who assaulted her. A father who perhaps even physically resembled the two. Perhaps Doumeki did see the signs of abuse but decided to ignore them and reacted impulsively like anyone else, he protected his sister from him. I come, but...
Doumeki decided to keep quiet, asked them not to say anything and assumed all the blame to protect her family from public ridicule, in Japan and the world the image is very important but, as a mother and as a sister, you are going to allow your 21-year-old son, a magnificent student , skilled, intelligent and with a bright future ahead, rot in jail for "the public image"? that's what happened... his sister who could have gone to the police, his mother who could have refused her son's decision and protected him... both were silent. Doumeki lost everything he had built and a silent fear grew in him.
The phrase "you can see that they are mother and son", "like father like son", Doumeki took it very seriously and turned off all sexual desire thinking that he could become like his father, dead in life, decided to keep everything.
upon leaving prison, I always thought that Doumeki would no longer see women in the same way and that is one of the reasons for looking at Yashiro, he could no longer see women in a sexual way, because in all those faces he would see Aoi, her sister, being raped and thus he falls in love with a complicated, twisted, dysfunctional man but who gives him a home, security and sees in him something that no one else had seen: tenderness, innocence, purity . Yashiro treats Doumeki tenderly, lovingly and with a childish attitude, unable to resist he begins to desire him and feels guilty about it, thinking that every time he touches him, he rapes him. Yashiro intervenes and tells him that no, you are not equal to your father, you are pure. A phrase that would change his life. But... Yashiro immerses himself in a crusade to return Doumeki to a home since he does not want him to enter the dark and rotten world of the yakuza, he tries to protect him without understanding or knowing all Doumeki's suffering. . Doumeki has no one, he does not want to return to his family because deep down he knows that he was abandoned by all family and friends, he does not want to return to the police who, knowing the events of the case, left him to rot in jail instead of starting an investigation, his future He sees him next to only one person, his love, Yashiro San.
There are no sadder chapters than the entire sequence of events from when Yashiro leaves him behind in the apartment until he wakes up in the hospital. Doumeki's sense of loss and emptiness makes him make a decision: he will not move away, he will remain in the same world as the person he loves... distant and patient but in pain, bleeding relentlessly from a wound that he does not heal...
Again Doumeki meets Yashiro who apparently has forgotten him, has not changed at all and continues with his bad habits but he continues with his advances. However, in the process he is being hurt, hoping that Yashiro expresses his feelings and at the end of all this nightmare that his life has been, they choose him, but not just anyone, but Yashiro, the man who gave him love and life...
He will never forget, neither the good, nor the bad, nor that they will leave him behind. So he closes his thoughts, his heart and we know nothing but his actions that seem cold and desperate. Doumeki is so young, he is only 29 years old and has been through so many terrible events, abuse and abandonment, his heart has been destroyed by all the beings he loved, respected, admired and wanted. There is only one way left for him, a path that does not stop hurting him, a path that is not yet clear, he must be strong to save what he loves most in this world but he also needs security, a place to return to, a confirmation that he is needed and needed.
I have faith that Doumeki will save Yashiro San, but also that Yashiro San will save Doumeki.
I think she means "wait until 2017 to see the completion", not "gone for a whole year" @evilpixiea ;)
Thank you for the four chapters in a round <3 They broke my heart completely. I will have to wait till next year to get a complete story but you're always worth waiting for <3
Next year? Are you going to be away for the rest of this year?
But that aside, I am glad you liked it. Inside and Out probably has had some of the rockiest development of all my stories just because I’m writing it at a very turbulent time in my life. My situation keeps changing and it makes it hard to be consistent with updates and even harder to respond to all the comments… but fear not. I will finish it.
Writing Resources Masterlist
Things Neil Gaiman Said
A reason to write what you love
Bad Writing Day
Don’t focus on the big things; just keep writing
“Fix it fanfic” Writing to your own work
How to be a writer (the easy way)
How to reconnect with an unfinished work
how to stay motivated as a writer
How to trick your brain into writing
No motivation to keep going on
Scared for others to read your work?
Sound like yourself writing advice
What to do when you’re discouraged by feedback
Wills for Writers
Write it badly
Writing and mental health
Writing in the fog
General Tips
Cliché but true writing advice
Fail better
Femme Fatale Guide: How To Gain Motivation & Get Out of A Rut
Harsh writing advice
How do I write when I just can’t write?
How to measure success as a writer
How to (not) start a book
Idea vs Execution (writing advice)
Reasons not to quit writing
Some writing advice
Things Writers Need to Hear
Value
What are you writing?
What to do when you’ve written yourself in a corner
What to write
Write that fanfiction
Writing advice
Writing on auto pilot
Writing Tips from a Beta Reader
Reblog for usefulness
60 Synonyms for “Walk”
A list of sounds/onomatopoeias for writers
American vs British terms
Descriptionary
Insult names to use instead of "idiot”
Looking for a word you can’t remember
OneLook Reverse Dictionary
One look thesaurus
Power Thesaurus
Researching for WIPs : A Collection
Reverse Dictionary
Synonyms for Very
Using the appropriate vocabulary in your novel
Wild vs feral
Words to use instead of: cry/cried/crying
Writing websites
So today is my birthday and I received kudos on my smuttiest stories! I've finally started the fourth instalment and with the weather being so amazing this weekend and it being a long weekend, i hope to take some time to myself to write more!
Character Profile
Born on August, 21th Lion, Type O 180cm/76kg Can be compared to: Lion Likes: sushi, whale meat, mahjong, clubs, golf Favorite cigarettes: Parliament Favorite car: Benz (it used to be the Crown Majesta)
Parameter
Tolerance: 5 Lewdness: 4 Intelligence: 4 Body type: 4 Straighforwardness: 3 Prudence: 3.5
Foot size: 28cm
Weak point! None
Character Profile
Born on January, 1st Capricorne, Type A 177cm/67kg Can be compared to: a horse Likes: tofu skin, konnyaku, zaitech (investment, financial techniques), estimating Favorite cigarettes: once in a while, he smokes Misumi’s cigarettes in secret Favorite car: Elgrand (he uses it when Misumi goes far away)
Parameter
Tolerance: 3 Lewdness: 1 Intelligence: 5 Body type: 3 Straighforwardness: 2 Prudence: 4
Foot size: 27.5cm
Weak point! None
Please let me know if I made any mistakes!
For my files
itscarolinescorner He’s a multifaceted king 💅
Oh how completely adorable this is 🤩
💙🩵🛒💨
The Artist's Way quote is so interesting! And true! How did you unblock your creativity?
The Artist’s Way always works wonders on me. It puts me back in touch with what I actually feel and what I actually want ❤️ Can’t recommend it enough.
This particular time, these things have shifted the block.
1. Turning the news off. Not just down. Off. Turning it off for good. Covering my eyes, screaming and fleeing the room if anyone turns it back on. Blocking the sites, deleting the apps. This one is non-negotiable for me. I have to centre my life in the quiet and comfortable world that actually exists around me, not the burning global battleground that the media needs us to stay trapped in. (”Things are terrifying! More terrifying by the day! Come read about the latest dangers!… and drive our web traffic figures and advertising profits ever upwards.”)
2. Accepting that procrastination isn’t laziness. It’s fear.
3. Sitting down and asking myself, ready to listen, “What’s frightening you, my small friend? What can I chase away from you? Point at all the scary things and I’ll get them out of here.” Then doing it.
4. Buying myself a set of nice pens shaped like tiny sharks.
5. Getting angry about the things that hurt. All the things, even the tiny throwaway things, even the things from ages ago, even the things my loved ones told me just to forget about. Getting angry at the people who did the hurtful things, then writing a lot of very sweary letters with my shark pens.
6. “My anger deserves my respect,” whenever I remember to say it. Writing it out with my shark pens. “Anger is my friend. Anger points the way.”
7. “I receive your good willingly, universe.” When happiness shows up, get it a sandwich and a comfy seat.
8. Restocking the pond. Creative minds need raw materials they can turn into creative work: images, sounds, sensations, feelings. Mine’s no different. It takes a while to let myself believe (not just nod like yeah yeah sure, but believe) that pursuing heartfelt interests isn’t selfish. It’s vital to maintaining a healthy flow of passion. I wouldn’t expect someone to bake a cake without using any ingredients.
9. Listening for the sad little inner voice that mumbles, “I want a biscuit.” Getting it a biscuit. (I’m serious about this. We spend live our lives telling ourselves in a hundred different tiny ways each day that we don’t deserve the biscuit, don’t deserve the shark pens, don’t deserve the friends we have, don’t deserve the good things that come our way, don’t deserve to try writing the things we actually really want to write. It builds up and it cripples us. You reverse the spiral by starting with the biscuit.)
10. Piece of paper, pen. (Shark-shaped or otherwise.) “Honestly, I think I…” Twenty times daily. Write fast and don’t think. You’re not writing in blood, it’s ink and you’re allowed to say it, no matter what it is. Good thoughts, bad thoughts. Write them down. Fill in all twenty every single day. You’ll watch yourself writing the same handful over and over, everyday, stronger and stronger, until you let yourself write this one: “Honestly, I think I might do something about that.”