Silly Guy

GODDAMN. WHY IS BEARDED BRIAN HOT.

(1973)

pride<3 (brian may x reader)

it was june 9th (69 haha nice) and you were heading to your local pride parade. you were not gay, but you wanted to exploit gay people for some cute photos for instagram. cute! you were attending the pride parade with your best friend, roger taylor. roger was also NOT gay, and was drinking soup out of a can.

you arrived at the pride parade. you were hoping to find a sexiiiiiiii man there (you whore). but oh no! all the guys there were gay because this was a pride parade. who would appreciate your hot outfit (a nun costume with a hole cut out over the nipples) now?!? 

then, you saw him. a tall, beautiful man. it was father brian harold may, the pastor at your local church. he was there to show support to the gay community, but was also NOT gay. there are no gay characters in this story despite it occurring at a pride parade. (a/n: i forgot to mention, i’m allowed to have no gay characters because i am gay).

brian harold may was 72 years old.

you beckoned him over lustfully. “hey….father,” you whispered.

“hey, hottie,” he said, licking your neck. he was an awful priest.

roger, still drinking soup, was deeply jealous of this. he secretly had feelings for you, and he HATED father brian harold may because of the time when he confessed to murder and father brian harold may broke the confidentiality of confession and told roger’s parents.

roger poured the remainder of his soup onto brian harold may’s luscious curly hair. “take that, slut” he said, nutting. however, roger was a fool. this only made you more attracted to the older man. you began wringing the soup out of his hair directly into your mouth. 

roger began to cry. in all the commotion, no one noticed john deacon slithering up underneath your nun robes. in an act of devious mischief, he amputated your left leg. 

“you SLUT” you said, ripping your robes off to reveal the criminal. (you were now naked). 

roger taylor would not stand for this. he quickly began to hex john deacon. but he had forgotten one important thing…you were in the company of a MAN OF GOD.

father brian harold may briefly looked at your amputated leg with lust, then exorcised roger taylor (as priests do). “oh, brian,” you moaned. “exorcise me next”

“i don’t take orders from whores,” said father brian harold may, visibly aroused. he stabbed you once to establish dominance, snatching one of your eyes and placing it in the pocket of his robes. “i will see you at mass next sunday”

he disappeared into the mist. another successful pride!

Lover, You Should’ve Come Over: Chapter 2

Note: okay okay i know i said i’d get it up last week but i rewrote it 4 times and i was busy the WHOLE month 😭. to make up for it, this is a really long chapter.

Warnings: None!

Y/N had been stressing the whole week before the gig. It was all she could think about. She didn’t think about anything that important either. She thought about her hair or her dress or what she could talk to Brian about. Maybe that last part was the important part. What did they even have in common besides Jo or Roger? Oh my God Jo. The real important thing to be thinking about was whether or not Jo was going.

Whatever. She needed an outfit for the gig. Maybe it was time to ride down to Biba? With that thought Y/N jumped up to put on somewhat presentable clothes and brushed her hair quickly before rushing out the door with her keys. Jo barely even looked her way, too caught up in some soap opera to care. Y/N ran down the stairs of the apartment breezeway, gazing up every once in a while to spot her car.

_ _ _

Y/N made it to the busy streets of London. Apparently everyone else wanted an outfit too. Y/N stepped out into the cold air, shivering a bit. Of course she’d forget a coat on such a cold day. She eventually made it to Biba without a scratch from all the pushing and shoving. At least she could get free clothes since she knew a girl who worked here. Said girl, Mary, was sitting in the back on the floor, picking her nails. Y/N spotted her and walked right past the register and the other employees, getting a few looks and whispers along the way.

“Hey, Mary.” Y/N says as she sits next to the blonde woman.

“Hey. Where have you been?” Mary murmurs, turning her head to look at Y/N. Where have I been? Y/N thought. She thinks back to the last time she saw Mary and she can’t remember. She stares at the gray metal door of the backroom.

“Just at school. Sorry” Y/N prays Mary isn’t mad at her. Mary smiles and nods while Y/N finally builds the courage to look back at her.

“So, what are you here for? New clothes? Something special? Something sexy?” The fair-haired woman teases.

“Yeah I might need a combination of everything you just listed,” Y/N giggles, “going to my crushes gig tomorrow night.” Mary pretends to be shocked and stands up, grabbing Y/N’s hand and pulling her up.

“You didn’t tell me it was that important!” Mary hurries her into the actual store.

They rush through every rack there is looking for the perfect outfit. Mary offers plenty of revealing dresses that are way out of Y/N’s comfort zone. Finally the both decide on a deep purple sleeveless shift dress paired with white go-go boots. It was a little short but it’d have to do. At least it made her feel beautiful.

“You know, I didn’t want to do too much. But I feel like the length is a lot. What do you think?” Y/N turns back from the full-length mirror in the changing rooms to try and read Mary’s expression. Mary gives her a reassuring grin and tucks hair behind her ear.

“It’s not doing too much. The length looks good on you and you totally have the body for it!” Mary says in a light tone. She brushes her hand against Y/N’s shoulder. Y/N looks at the fat on her arms and sighs. Not really, Mary. Though she didn’t like it, it seems she’d have to live with this body. The hardest part was making Brian try to like it when she didn’t.

“Thank you, Mary. You always make me feel better.” Y/N swallows, staring at herself a little longer.

_ _ _

After Y/N returns from Biba, she walks into her shared flat and slumps onto the couch. Jo walks into the living room with a smirk.

“Hey, Y/N,” She says, puffing on a cigarette. “Where’d you go?”

“Biba. Got an outfit for the gig. Speaking of it, are you going?” Y/N breathes into a pillow on the couch. She’s found herself in this position time and time again but it’s always just as comforting.

“Smile? Saturday?” Y/N nods while Jo laughs and puts her cigarette in the ashtray. “Who invited you?” Jo said the last part in more of a surprised tone than a mean one. Y/N takes her head off the fluffy pillow and grins at her proudly.

“Brian.” She almost squeals. Jo does all the squealing for her. Jo nearly jumps up and down out of excitement.

“let me see the outfit then!” Jo exclaims while walking over and grabbing onto Y/N’s hands.

_ _ _

Y/N lays in her bed, thinking about tomorrow night and how she’ll even approach him. What if he thinks she’s weird? it’s not like they’ve known each other forever anyway. The first time they’ve hung out will be tomorrow night. Maybe he admired her like she admired him. Or what if he only did it to be nice? It was most likely the ladder.

At Brian and Roger’s shared flat, Brian and Roger were drinking beer on the couch and talking.

“So why’d you invite that girl?”

Roger questions the man on the couch next to him.

“I don’t know. She seems sweet,” Brian smiles and laughs before shaking his head. “I have no real reason, I just thought she’d be nice to bring along. I mean i’ve seen her in my class and i’ve wanted to talk to her if i’m honest.” Brian starts to rant but stops himself before he can.

“Do you have a crush?” Roger teases.

“No, i just” Brian stutters and doesn’t finish his sentence. Just feeding more into Roger’s beliefs.

“You do, huh?” Roger laughs. Roger barely knew the girl either. He’s spoken to Y/N once or twice but never had a serious conversation since he was just her best friend's boyfriend and nothing to her. Brian shakes his head.

“We’ll decide after we have a real conversation tomorrow, Rog.” Brian says as he sips his beer. Roger grins at him.

“Let’s call her.”

“Roger, she’s probably asleep and that’s weird.” Brian defends quickly.

“Who goes to sleep on a Friday at 12 am?” Roger asks, getting up to get another beer from the fridge. He gazes at the phone on his way to the kitchen.

Brian huffs from the couch before calling out, “Uh normal people!” Roger pulls out a beer and walks back to the living room with a smirk plastered on his face. He mutters, ‘boooring.’ before plopping down on the couch yet again.

“C’mon, Bri, just call her,” Roger begs, “Not in a prank call way either. Just a normal conversation because I want to get to know your little lady caller.” Brian shakes his head.

After a few minutes of begging, Roger ends up losing the battle of begging and Brian ends up in his room while pretending to sleep. He didn’t want to call her in front of Roger because he had a feeling he’d manage to stutter or embarrass himself in some way around Roger.

Y/N was still thinking about Brian. Now she was sitting on the side of her bed and setting her alarm clock for five in the morning. She had to get up early to look her best even if the gig wasn’t until seven that night. Y/N settles back into bed and places her alarm clock in its rightful spot.

Y/N stares at the ceiling while the sound of Jo cooking a midnight snack fills the house. She begins to think about Brian’s smile and his soft voice and his pretty curls and it manages to soothe her into a tight slumber.

meme by me 😇

a song that makes me BAWL. no hesitation either.

This how life been feeling recently

Brian May but in a patrick hat because im so funny

I need Brian May's long legs to sustain me in these trying times.

if I was chrissie mullen and my ex husband wrote a song like too much love will kill you about how painful it was cheating on me I’d send live crocodiles to his house

his hands omg I'm going insane. HIS PINKY RING. LORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD.