Boobyisme - Booby Is Me

God, I refuse to live in worry when You’ve called me to live in peace. I’m handing You every anxious thought, because You do a better job running the universe than I do. In Jesus Name, amen.

nothing / sad n stuff

i don’t know what’s happening. are u not talking to me, purposefully???!? this is so unlike you and i wonder if something’s wrong. i asked if you were at the meeting earlier and you were but you haven’t replied to me since yesterday + haven’t tagged me in anything for the last 24 hours. i know that’s so trivial and we should be able to do our own things separately but i have a feeling something’s up. i dont need you to tell me if you dont feel comfortable but i dont like feeling helpless and i dont like the idea that i cant be there for you. i just need a sign that you’re okay. i love you so much and i miss you. i feel bad you’re not talking to me and that i dont know what’s going on, if any. i really hope ure okay girl like genuinely. not just because i miss you. i hope this isnt; because of ateneo cause you’re literally so much more than that. god please let this girl know im here for her whatever happens. she’s so much more reserved than i am and for the longest time, i’ve taken her for such a strong level-headed person. i want to be there when she doens’t feel like being her strongest self. im like crying and shit. i really miss you girl like WTF. talk to me!!!!

i need everyone to know that community is what will save us all in every single way imaginable. you forming a bond with your neighbour or coworker might help them move house or feel less alone or have the courage to leave an unhealthy living environment. you helping a stranger might provide them with hope. in turn, being able to lean on your community in times of need will save you. your broader bonds with your community are the revolution we need. our society seeks to divide and separate us in so many ways but we are all so much more united in our struggles and joys than you are made to believe. we need to hold onto each other very tightly.

first semester goals: get a 4.0 gpa, do all readings and have comprehensive notes, attend all my lectures, start my papers three weeks in advance

second semester goals: don't kill myself or become an alcoholic

I wanna say I’m overworked but I actually genuinely like what I’m doing and it’s DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY. Last night, I left a lamp open so, throughout the night, I was just subconsciously counting down to the time I needed to get up because I thought it was Thursday. I was also looking forward to what I had to do. It's so crazy. But like, thanks I guess?????? because I'm not as overworked as I thought I was because I don't despise what I'm doing. Then again, I know that I'm already overestimating my capacity to work and take in work and that one day, this might come back to bite me so hard in the ass. I'm just looking forward to SG honestly and I know when it comes around, I will deserve the trip because I worked so hard and OT'd so much. Thanks, Lord, because I did not know shit about this industry when I first got here and yet I am thriving now. This might even create a real career path for me if I give my best and the work I've done in the last 3 weeks has been a testament to that. I hope I am making my boss proud because he is my first boss ever and I was also his first ever hire and we both just took a chance on each other. I hope that this continues on because I really really like what I'm doing and I want to keep doing my best.

In the same light, I want to give the same amount of energy to my other job which ALSO took a chance on me. I always say I'm only around for the money but to my core, I know it's also worth giving my best to. So, my only prayer is for me to always have the energy to attend to my two big girl jobs that I really love. I cherish them and I want to keep them, and when the time comes that I need to move on to better and bigger things, I hope to do so in the right way.

Okay that's all!! I'm in Starbucks Grace Mall and loving the aircon so much :D I claimed my free drink and you already know what I got.

date a girl who makes it harder to go to sleep but easier to get up every morning

one direction will always be so so so bittersweet to me like they were such a foundation of my teenage years while at the same time those boys were spending most of their days trapped in hotel rooms or waking up at 2 am to record an album and non stop touring and working so much more than anyone let alone a bunch of teenage boys should work and its always been hard to reconcile those two realities especially on a day like today because god when they were good together, they were so good together.

and i just don't think anything like them will ever happen again. 5 boys from basically working class backgrounds thrust into a level of fame the height of which hadn't been seen for decades, all of them becoming the breadwinners of their families before the age of 18. the immense pressure but also the amount of fun they were. the tragedy and joy of it all intertwined. really impossible to put into words

the intimacy of growing into who you are.