Happiness Will Come To You.

rebooting for others/personal reference:)

becoming an adult cheat sheet!

learn to coupon

what to do when you can’t afford therapy

cleaning your bathroom

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

stress management

quick fix meals

find out if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

resume workshop

organize your closet

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

what you should bring to a doctor’s appointment

what’s a mortgage?

how to pick a health insurance plan

hotlines list

your first gynecology appointment

what to do if the cops pull you over

things to have in your car in case of emergency

my moving out masterpost

how to make friends as an adult (video)

how to do taxes (video)

recommended reads for surviving adulthood (video)

change a flat tire (video)

how to do laundry (video)

opening a bank account (video)

laundry cheat sheet

recipes masterpost

tricks to help you sleep more

what the fuck should you make for dinner?

where should you go for drinks?

alcohol: know your limits

easy makeup tips

find seat maps for your flight

self-defense tips

prevent hangovers

workout masterpost

how to write a check

career builder

browse careers

birth control information

financial management software & app (free)

my mental health masterpost

my college applications masterpost

how to jumpstart a car

sex ed masterpost

this!!! thank u so much for r saying this omg

No question just reminding you that your writing makes a difference and I love both your analysis series and your fic! If it's something you're interested in exploring, I would love to hear your thoughts on how pop psychology and over reliance on short form content lead to community issues. For years there's been a trend of people with surface level knowledge using out of context buzzwords to police and shame people who dare have symptoms they're not 100% in control of.

Wow, such a kind thing to say! I often feel like I’m bashing my head against my own fist so I’m glad to know something worthwhile is coming out of it lol

An interesting question, and I would first ask: do we know that this is happening? The general mental health-ification of the internet has been happening for a few years now, and it’s sort of hard to know the effects given it’s still an evolving situation. But I’ll speak to some things I’ve seen personally that might be relevant.

The first is that people, and particularly young people, are more mental health literate than they have ever been. This is largely good! AND - TikTok and other social media has become kind of like WebMD for mental health disorders and relational dysfunction. Because of this, a lot of people fall down the self-diagnosis rabbit hole in the same way. And sometimes that’s helpful when it motivates people to seek treatment, but can be harmful because of the vast amount of misinformation on the internet. And treatment is still very inaccessible due to cost and availability, leaving people to go it alone with unvetted resources. So we have a climate where people are aware of mental health issues, there’s lot of misinformation, and credible help is hard to get. This is a breeding ground for pop psychology and therapy influencers to take root.

So to your questions: I do see a lot of folks using (and misusing) clinical terms in irl situations. Its part of the reason I hate that mental healthcare is so embedded in the medical systems because everything gets shoehorned into diagnostic labels when it’s not necessary. Some top culprits include boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, as well as diagnoses like BPD, NPD, DID, etc.

Ex: gaslighting is often thrown around when people disagree. Someone remembering something different than you is not abuse - the more likely reality is that human memory is complex and bad. Gaslighting is a deliberate tactic used to make you question your memory/sanity. It requires intent to deceive.

Ex: Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a medical diagnosis that requires a person to experience distress and loss of functioning from the consequences of their compulsively self centered behavior. Sometimes people are just being assholes. A person treating you badly doesn’t require a diagnosis. But labels can make people feel more oriented and in control, because YOURE the bad/wrong/sick one and therefore I don’t have to look at myself.

I think this has two effects:

1. An overly cognitive view and experience of human behavior that pathologizes normal, messy multi-faceted reactions and interactions in an effort to find a sense of security and predictability via control.

2. A lower tolerance for productive conflict and adverse experiences that robs people of opportunities to build resilience and experience meaning from the suffering that visits us all at some point or other.

In fandom spaces, I think this shows up as an unwillingness to question why we react to things the way we do, why certain things make us uncomfortable instead of immediately rejecting them wholesale. There’s valuable information in the things that chafe us, and so much of the work I do with folks is about being brave and actively seeking that information in a safe, contained space. It’s a vulnerable thing, and it’s natural for our defensive responses to get activated (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn). and my totally unfounded theory is that the folks who are being vicious and keyboard warriory are defaulting to a fight response: be scary to make the thing stop. It’s a self-protection strategy at its core, but it fandom spaces it translates as bullying because well.. it is. They’re trying to defend a space, even an online one, by trying to be scary enough not to fight with.

Art is inherently self-reflective, both in the making of and the interacting with, where consumption is about satisfaction. My hope is that in fandom we can move toward creation as a conversation instead of as a product that does or does not fulfill what someone is looking for. I think there will always be demand for super tropey, digestible, just for fun content and that’s great, but I also would love to see more folks be willing to engage with things that make them uncomfortable in an effort to find out why. That’s the kind of fandom I’m interested in being a part of. For some people it’s never going to be that deep, but I’d like to think in my little corner that’s the kind of stuff we get excited about.

character development 😌

X

Didi is so so wonderful yall should check her out

No because I really want to understand why Nesta is the one getting hated on in ACOFAS, when Cassian was the one who wouldn’t leave her alone.

So clearly, she doesn’t want him to walk her home. No lashing out. Just a simple “I’m fine”

And the last line says it all. She wants nothing to do with him. He knows that, yet he still wants to interact with her.

He says he understands, but he certainly doesn’t act like it.

Again, she doesn’t want him with her and tells him to go back to the house. This is the second time she makes it clear she doesn’t want him around.

Third time she makes it clear she wants him to leave her alone. By now he should’ve gotten the hint.

And then she says she doesn’t want his damn gift. Why would she take it?

Again, for the fourth time, she makes it clear she wants nothing to do with him.

Games? What games? Does he actually think that Nesta struggling & not wanting anything to do with him, is her playing with him?

By the way, this is one of the worst things you can say to someone who is suffering. That they don’t try hard enough.

Then go somewhere else? Seriously??

She makes it clear she doesn’t want anything to do with him, for the fifth time. You’d think by now he’d finally get the hint. But of course, he doesn’t leave.

So Cassian basically tells her he doesn’t know why someone like her could be loved, and all she says is go home Cassian (sixth time)

I can’t put anymore photos so I’ll type out the next scene

It was instinct to lunge for her free hand. Her gloved fingers scraped against his calluses, but he held firm.

“Talk to me. Nesta. Tell me—“ (Cassian)

So he wants her to talk to him, after acting like an ass and telling her he didn’t know how her sisters love her.

She ripped her hand out of his grip. Stared him down. A mighty, vengeful queen.

He waited, panting, for the verbal lashing to begin. For her to shred him into ribbons. But Nesta only stared at him, her nose crinkling. Stared, then snorted —and walked away.

As if he were nothing. As if he weren’t worth her time. The effort.

Why would she give you the time of day to talk to you after acting like that? He did this to himself. She makes it clear she wants nothing to do with him, and he wouldn’t leave her alone.

in denial and rewatching the series… remember the halloween episode (“Spooky”, Season 1 Ep 5) where idk experiment 300 shows people their worst fears… and nani sees cobra changing his mind and saying he’s taking lilo…

“The reason why there’s no Asian characters at all in The Hunger Games is because Panem has a smaller population size than America and Asian people wouldn’t exist” in response to an Asian person saddened by the fandom backlash to Wyatt Callow’s casting is diabolical.

“Is that racist? I don’t think I’m being racist.” Uh so for that outcome to occur there would’ve needed to have been a targeted genocide of Asian people in Panem so yeah, it’s racist as fuck to tell an Asian person that they headcanon them and their community as ethnically cleansed from their favorite books/movies 😭😭😭

the director and/or whoever okayed this should get smacked with a dead fish

In case anyone was wondering about the Lilo and Stitch movie here’s the highlights from someone chronically online enough to have seen the movie through snippets lol

Nani does in fact give Lilo up to the government, ppl defend it by saying David’s mom is her foster mom now but Lilo is still in fact in the system and can easily be taken away from David’s mom if conditions are “unfit”… the exact same situation Nani was in before lol

Took away all of Nani’s support system that the original movie develops for her except for David/his mom

Had Nani treat Lilo like a burden for “realism”… anyway…

Lilo literally says “you’re so smart Nani, I think you should join the Marines”

Nani was deeply connected to her culture and family, that aspect of her just isn’t there at the end of the day (and part of that is because Sydney is not indigenous Hawaiian and it shows… in looks, actions, and line delivery) and the conclusion to her story being giving up her kid sister to the state and leaving her home for a “better” education and future is atrocious

They had her go to California to study marine biology. First of all, it was implied she was a pro surfer in the og movie no hint of marine biology. Not every persons dream is college and it doesn’t need to be part of everyone’s story… the choice of “putting yourself first” in order to get a better education is very #girlboss… Second of all, Hawaii has multiple universities with marine biology programs that would give far more money and benefits to a native Hawaiian than literally any Californian school let alone UCSD lmao

They changed their island from Kauai to Oahu… most obvious reason they did this was because that is the island their resort is on and overrun with tourists. However, with this location change and their wack ass narrative changes they also made going to California even more blatantly propaganda because that is where the University of Hawaii at Manoa is… ALSO, Oahu has major cities… you know how Sitch has to find new meaning for existence because he can’t do what he was programmed to do because he’s stuck on an island with no big cities… yeah…

On this note, pretty much removed all substantial tourism commentary

Jumba is the villain, he sounds like a whiny computer nerd and it’s miserable

Pleakley is lame, rip queen 🕊️

Lilo is pretty well adjusted and normal lol? No fights, no biting, no trying to curse her enemies etc… she’s literally a normal girl which… alright then???

There is no Gantu (rumor has it this is at its core because they don’t want to make law enforcement look bad)

CGI is literally so fucking bad like besides aesthetics the actors literally don’t point to where Stitch is and when they’re supposed to touch it they often miss lol

Editing is also terrible. Every scene lasts like 5 seconds and is jarring, so genuinely terrible I think shows like this are gonna further ruin kids attention spans lmfao

Nani misses Lilo’s actual performance instead of just being late to pick up Lilo from practice after getting into a fight…

Myrtle isn’t white #diversity win

No ugly duckling subplot

Bubbles is not the social worker and is working against the gang (again removing all of Nani’s support system, he literally shows up for every holiday with the fam in the og)

Changing the social worker role from an externally imposing black man with good intentions to a gentle woman has some undertones tbh considering this is the justification: “According to Camp, it was easy for audiences to believe that a towering man with a "Cobra" tattooed on his knuckles was a social worker in the animated movie​​​​​. However, that kind of exaggerated character design doesn't translate convincingly to live-action.”

The new social worker literally tells Nani that the right thing to do is to give up Lilo… very different from Bubbles doing his best to keep the sisters together. Keeping family together is a prime goal in social work btw…