Latest Posts by blblsex - Page 9

Gatekeep girlboss gaslight

Rewrite: Starting over

Why?

Don't think about the parallels, don't think about Pete having an actual answer this time around, don't think about how "I can't run off to anywhere" isn't just Pete choosing Vegas, it's Pete deciding to give himself no other choice. He's not just refusing to run off, he's not allowing it to be an option. Handing the rope to Vegas, all over again.

If you run now, I'm alright with that.

Don't think about Vegas being unconditionally selfless for the first time and giving Pete a way out anyway. Don't think about how this is better than all of the apologies because they're literally rewriting their lowest moment, going back and correcting all the wrongs of the past in order to move foward.

I got nothing left.

For sure don't think about this fucking line getting reused. Reframed. Don't think about the way it was originally Pete who was split open, hurt and empty, the fight drained out of him. How this was Pete with nothing left to give. Don't think about how now the fight is out of Vegas. How his will to keep taking is gone.

I don't want to be your burden. I just want to follow my heart.

Don't think about this confirmation that staying isn't just what Pete needs, what Vegas needs, it's what they both want.

From now on, you're no longer my pet. You're the most important person in my life.

Don't think about how it's so important for to them that they have this conversation in full before they even consider touching each other. Don't think about the way healing is important to them. Don't think about how KP said "Can we start all over?" and VP went ahead and did this.

Are y'all fucking??? Okay??????? Because I'm not.

I think the best part of KinnPorsche, and it really comes to mind with this latest episode, is that every character thinks they’re in a different genre and it’s the funniest thing watching it clash with the reality.

Kinn is just living his best rom-com life where he falls for his sassy but kind assistant bodyguard that he can no longer live with out.

Porsche is basically a YA novel where he falls for his sexy morally ambiguous love interest who’s secretly sweet but *gasp* his past has come to haunt him!

Pete thinks he’s in a dark psychological thriller where he must battle his inner demons and brooding but hot captor to maintain his humanity but it threatens to over take him at any moment as he is torn between his newly found dark desires and the reputation he prides himself on.

Vegas acts like he’s in gothic bodice ripper novel where his entire world becomes the kind, empathic heroine Pete and he will do anything to keep him to himself and Pete is going to help him overcome the truama of his past with his love.

Kim sees himself in this brooding noir style detective film where he must uncover the dark past of his family but oh no he finds himself falling for the pure and sweet ingénue Chay and must wrestle with the dangerous life he leads and the mission he’s devoted himself to and the love of his life

Porchay thought he’s living his Wattpad dream life where he meets his idol and gains his respect as he tutors him and they slowly develop a sweet friendship that turns into a heartfelt romance

They really demonstrate how all the characters are protagonists of their own story, and that’s how they make their decisions, based on the assumptions on the world around them. They think they know the story their in, and that’s the role they have taken, but the tragedy and the complications of these relationships is that they aren’t in a single genre story. They’re people, achingly human people, interacting with other complex people and what is salvation for one is a damnation for the other.

They aren’t in any specific genre (you know, beyond on the whole mafia thing) and that’s where the miscommunication happens, that’s how the drama unfolds, that’s how all these different romances keep missing each other, because they’re all operating on different wavelengths based on the story they think *THEY’RE* in and not stopping to really consider the other perspective.

It’s absolutely hilarious, it’s terribly tragic, it’s utterly beautiful and performed so well by the writers and the actors.

Tankhun really caring about Pete

Pete reaching out to caress Vegas' lips and face 😭😭😭

It's not a competition anymore!

The last time Vegas & Porsche saw each other vs. This time

Vegas is now defending Kinn.

How the episode started vs. How it ended

They have to work together to help the ones they love. Vegas, Kinn, and Pete had their guns, yet nobody could shoot.

How Vegas & Kinn saw each other vs. How Pete & Porsche view them

I'm confident that Porsche AND Vegas are going to the main house next episode to help the men they love. Both are no longer on the minor/main family's side; they are on their love's sides.

This is exactly how that scene went

the many personas of kim theerapanyakul (x)

No thoughts, just Vegas posing Pete to fuck him the same way he posed him the first time he offered Pete tenderness.

...No wait okay I lied I have a lot of thoughts actually, because there are other parallels between these two scenes and they're quietly driving me insane:

Pete telling Vegas to set him free by letting him die vs Pete telling Vegas to set him free by binding him

Vegas leaning over Pete with a pill in his mouth vs Vegas leaning over Pete with a condom in his mouth, when the pill was a promise of change and no further harm

(I could rotate the second image 90 degrees to show the visual parallel better but hell if the tilted camera isn't tipping me right over the edge into madness, along with Vegas framed directly between Pete's arms on bottom and the chains wrapped around his ankles on top. This post isn't meant to be about framing, but asdk;lfsj;lkj)

Pete looking up at Vegas, mutinous and trying to understand his actions, vs Pete looking up at Vegas both willing and completely aware

And afterwards, Vegas settling on the floor facing opposite Pete and meeting his eyes with a chain visually splitting them apart vs settling on the bed beside Pete and meeting his eyes with nothing in between

“And I sit here without identity: faceless. My head aches.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

The phone password.. and he presses twice :P

Canon.. 6969

For VegasPete… brace yourself.. it is what it  is

1.Kan (Vegas’s dad) said he will make his next appearance in ep 12. VP love story DOES NOT start until the showdown between dad and pete

(unless Pond changed that to Vegas already catching feeling because of existing interactions, e.g. we don’t have the scene of Pete bowing to Vegas’s dead mother .. and technically in the book too.. Vegas has started to take interest in Pete in a romantic way even before that slap happens)

2. Tawan - Porschay-Kim-Porsche-Vegas dynamics

Kim and Porschay need an impetus. Nothing less than Porschay being in harm’s way to get Mr. Cool to react and act.

Porsche and Vegas need a clean break. Ep 7 didn’t do that.. all it showed Porsche is that Vegas is interested in him and tried to kiss.. nothing wrong with it.. Who knows if we dont get that famous scene of Vegas telling Porsche “I would not hurt the one i love like this”.. in ep 9

3. Even before Tawan can get to Porschay (which will not be Vegas’ plan for once.. bug mole/big/and tawan) .. kinxporschextawan drama has to happen

Ep 9 - KinnXtawanXporsche culminating w pool sx and love confession (With pool scene, they will not have two shocking moments in same ep. so no Vegas Pete in ep 9)

Ep 10 - indeed tawan going crazy and going after porschay. Finally Vegas X Porsche clash happens, KimXporchay begins, Pete gets kidnapped (last scene of the episode?)

Ep 11 - this is when VP starts

Ep12 - dad makes a comeback; the love story intensifies

Ep 13 - cutsey stuff of VP.. with pete finally runnin away.. and maybe one scene of Vegas realizing that going after Pete will take away his smile..

Ep 14 showdown

Regardless if Pete is just manipulating Vegas, so he can get out of the chains and escape, I pray Pete has the best mind-blowing sex with Vegas...

then, he leaves him while he sleeps in bliss right next to him

and takes his hedgehog when he sneaks out leaving Vegas all alone with his chains.

Take the book too for good measure!

Picture it - Vegas gets shot in the family showdown, and Pete drags him under a table trying to keep him alive by applying pressure to the wound. Vegas tells Pete to just let him die, and Pete replies that is too easy. He applies more pressure causing pain and says "you must suffer until I'm satisfied"

the foreshadowing here is exquisite, because pete is going to break vegas down so efficiently that all he will have is his honest feelings about pete to rely on to get him back. vegas you’re going to be honest for the first time in your life with this man

Vegas and the Hedgehog dilemma

*Spoilers for episode 10*

Since episode 10 has been out, I’ve read a lot about Stockholm syndrome and Lima syndrome, normally used to justify relationships forged between abductors and their captives. While emotional psychology is not my forte (my area of expertise being language), what really caught my attention was the little hedgehog that I’m assuming Vegas has as a pet. Of all the attention given to details in his study room, the Virgin Mary with a skull, the gag ball, the lamp with green shade, the caged animal lit a bulb on my head.

Has anyone heard about the Hedgehog dilemma?

In short, hedgehogs are nocturnal animals with spines around their bodies. Unlike porcupines, their spines are way smaller and less noticeable but hard and painful in the same way. If not more. Similar to a cactus, you are aware of the large spines but sometimes the smaller ones go undetected, and then it is when you get prickled.

The hedgehog dilemma is really about intimacy. Like any other animal, hedgehogs long for physical warmth during winter and the way to obtain it is to get close to other hedgehogs. However, because they are not able to retract or shed their spines (and risk being eaten by predators), they end up stinging and hurting each other. In order to avoid pain, they need to keep a physical distance. Now let’s transpose this metaphor to human intimacy. People long for intimacy and warmth from other human beings. It is part of our psyche and crucial for our emotional stability. And intimacy can be at many levels – physical, emotional, sexual. However, because of one’s emotional baggage (or any other baggage – external, social, you name it), humans cannot get close to each other without hurting each other as well.

Now let’s transpose this dilemma onto Vegas.

Vegas.

Vegas Theerapanyakul.

Vegas, as I assume and from the hints we receive in the drama so far, has grown up in a very unhealthy environment. His father is everything but benevolent. His father does not accept his relationships, much less his sexuality. His father, and all the surrounding circumstances has made him use manipulation for survival. Vegas is, on a superficial level, cold, scheming, a psychopath I dare to say. He uses people to achieve his ends, he relishes in torture, and once they lose their purpose, he shoots them. There is no guilt or hesitation when he pulls the trigger (compare to how many times Kinn has pulled the trigger so far in the series).

Vegas is seemingly the perfect villain, but has anyone stop to think that he is hurt, so hurt beyond repair at this point of the series? Vegas is a hedgehog – he has deadly spines around him that he leaves a trail of devastation whichever he goes. But more than anything, Vegas longs for the warmth that he wants but never got. The scene with Tawan in front of the mirror, even when naked (which is one of the major steps one can take in terms of intimacy – to be naked with someone else and not be judged) feels rather fake and the complete opposite of intimacy. There are huge walls around Vegas there. It is almost as if Vegas had detached from his true-self and only a hollow version of him is left there to entertain Tawan and his delusion.     

So Vegas the hedgehog must have tried to become close to someone but the same way he has hurt others, others have hurt him. And rejected him – his father, the main family, Kinn (who I think he looks up to more than despise).

But we have another hedgehog in the series – Pete.

Pete’s spines are also out there – his smiley persona, his outgoing and carefree self. Pete strikes me as someone who is nice to everyone, but not really close to anyone. While Vegas has seen countless people succumb to his torture, Pete is the one to remain standing and refusing to entertain him.

No, no, no. Let’s rephrase that. Pete is the one to be able to see beyond the spines and accept Vegas.

No, no, no. Let’s rephrase it again.

Pete is the one to be able to bear the pain of Vegas’ spines and despite so, he is willing to remain by Vegas side. And Vegas, Vegas is not prepared to receive the full blow of Pete’s spines when these are out there pointing at him and stabbing him, inch by inch, skin and bones.

Because when it does, Vegas will understand what true intimacy is. And when he does, he will become so addicted to it that he will not know how to react.

And that, is what I am really waiting for.

(going back to my Kinn and Vegas protection corner)         

GIF REQUEST:

For perfectly normal reasons, can someone out there deliver a better quality GIF of the camera eyeing examining Daddy Chan looking fine af doing his job.

Vegas has to die...

*la petite mort (a little death, and just not the sexual kind), but a death nonetheless.

Episode 9 highlighted that Vegas is aware that his life is surrounded by death.

I joked last week that Pete would be the one to kill Vegas if Vegas kept up his behavior, but...

It will be Pete. Pete will kill Vegas.

While fighting with his dad, Gun smacks the book Vegas is reading on the ground, symbolizing not just the end of a childhood, but the end of being Gun's child.

The book is about an alien invasion that sacrifices humans' unique individuality, which reflects Vegas and his father's relationship. The book's overall theme is that in order for a metamorphosis to occur, the old form needs to die.

During that fight, Gun tells Vegas that he will never be the best in this life as he is right now

But Pete brings up something Porsche mentioned to Kinn before during their main vs. minor family competition conversation

Why can't Vegas just be...himself? Why does he have to be "Vegas, from the minor family, always under the main family"? Why does he have to be Vegas, the bad guy? Because he has been written that way by his family? Even on the phone with his dad, Vegas asks "Do you think I want to be here?!".

He doesn't but doesn't know how to escape. It's an incomprehensible aspiration. Korn tells Kinn that "in this business, once you get in, it's hard to get out" so how bad is it for someone born into it? The only escape is death.

Vegas has been shown to be the villain...for Pete (Gun is the actual protagonist of the series because everyone conflicts with him, even his own sons), but what happens when Pete, the hero of the story, doesn't see Vegas as a villain?

Khun's questioning of Porchay emphasized what has to happen in the storyline between the hero and the villain.

The bad guy, Vegas, has to die, so Pete, the hero, can live. But according to our hero, there are no absolutes, so *THIS* version of Vegas must die, not the whole being. In order for him to remove himself from "Vegas, from the minor family" and "Vegas, Gun's son", he must end *this* life, so he can meet Pete in the next one as two equals that share both good and bad instead of being consumed by one.

Even though Pete is the one being held hostage and tortured, the one who begins to die in this room is Vegas. When they have sex, Vegas will notice just how much of himself he has buried and what Pete, the one who knows exactly how it feels to be beat down but still sees the bright side, is awakening. He can't grow in the darkness, and Pete offers light.

Pete is killing some part of the Vegas that can't escape, but the final blow will come when the family's face each other. Vegas, once again carrying out his father's plans for the minor family against the main family, will realize his life is not his. Pete might not deliver the actual shot, but somehow Pete will be the reason that Vegas decides this version of himself can't continue to exist. Because before he can change, Vegas Theerapanyakul has to die.

*la petite mort -  an expression that means "the brief loss or weakening of consciousness" and in modern usage refers specifically to "the sensation of post orgasm as likened to death.

Jeff Satur as Kim Theerapanyakul KINNPORSCHE THE SERIES (2022)

The fact that Seojoon has folders upon folders saved and named: (1) Seojoon, (2) Do not open, (3) Are you sure? (4) You may regret it (5) Hanjiwoo… in order to access Jiwoo’s pictures he didn’t come around to delete, kills me. Also, the fact that he finds it difficult to fake cry onset during filming, but cries deeply upon viewing these photos, kills me even more.

I swear so many critics of queer media are full of brain rot, because they’ll watch a new queer series and invent an alternate universe where we have a rich body of queer media from which to judge tropes in these series as “tired” or “overdone” or “cheesy.” We don’t “earn” good queer media by constantly belittling new works for not being a tortured artistic exploration of queerness in an unforgiving society. Queer media is allowed to have tropes that are relatable, and tropes aren’t inherently bad. Queer media is allowed to expand to different genres. Queer media is allowed to be idealistic and cheesy, and it is especially allowed to be campy. If it doesn’t directly and actively harm queer people by reinforcing negative stereotypes and promoting violence towards us then it’s not “overdone.” You just don’t like it. 🙄

I CAN FIX HER SHE CAN MAKE ME WORSE

First Kill knows exactly what it is an who its for. Its doesn't waste a minute trying to please anyone outside of its intended audience. It plays the classics but its not afraid to shake things up and tell the story it wants to tell. And I really admire that. I would rather watch something made with a budget of thumb tacks and paperclips that has the courage to be itself than a million dollar block buster with no heart. That's my favorite thing about it.

Talking more about First Kill and how the queerness is well written but the rest is “not” thus purposefully fulfilling the shitty teen tv drama niche but for gay ppl:

Lesbian main characters are BOTH main characters they get equal time devoted to their history, motivations, feelings, and family dynamics throughout the story

Calliope, Juliette, and Ben are already fully comfortable in their sexualities and their families are fully accepting and don’t ever question it or say anything even mildly homophobic, even the shitty relatives

Calliope: She is a darkskin lesbian that is not treated as a love interest but as a main character in love. She’s ADORED by her girlfriend. She’s framed to be gorgeous, intelligent, sensitive and kind by the narrative. She is also treated as the child she is by her family!

The Burns: healthy, loving family, the adopted kid is THEIR kid, no one dies, they are NEVER villainized, they communicate with eachother, their love and devotion to eachother is apparent, they are actually all fleshed out characters with distinct personalities and motivations

Juliette: she feels like an outcast and sort of is one, but that’s due to her own internal conflict and social awkwardness not any external conflict with peers who are kind to her!

Ben: he’s a star athlete/jock, but still emotionally available and kind, a stellar student, well liked, loyal, the lil communication game he has with Juliette??? Hello???

Small queer things: Cal being friends with her ex, Ben and Juliette dating and figuring themselves out and staying best friends, killing off the closest case jock that refused to meet Ben even halfway and kept disrespecting him, NONE of the characters experience homophobia, tentative respect from parents about their “monster” gfs

The lore exists and is very plot relevant. And its also interesting and poetic?

Basically, this show lacks horrible stereotypes and is therefore a lesbian teen drama made for the genuine campy fun of it!

first kill is my new favorite show because it had lines like “it was no match for the gods of olympus. so why would i be immune to the insanity of first love?” but also “did you eat…. my mother?” and that duality is camp

Vegas is a proper villain

Vegas hired the female assassin to attack Porsche (and Kinn) to test his skills...

BEFORE his dad asked him to follow Porsche

Vegas dated Tawan first before Kinn, but Vegas wanted Tawan to infiltrate the main family by dating Kinn, something Tawan looked miserable over because he loved Vegas so much.

Vegas has a solid villain motive for doing this - he wanted to prove himself to his abusive homophobic father

The way his dad killed Ken makes me think the dad believed something was happening between them ("What the hell are you and Vegas doing?!") which only made him more violent towards Ken. And the only reason his dad demanded he follow Porsche is because he is using what he hates about his son to his advantage.

In both of the examples, Vegas does not have a true attachment to either Porsche or Tawan. He doesn't care about Porsche's attractiveness, and looks at himself in the mirror rather than Tawan. He doesn't see them, only what they can do for him, so he is a step ahead of his dad each time; before his dad can truly use him, he'll use others first. He has talked often about the main family's treatment of his family (that is a different post!), but it reinforces his rationalization. His family has been used many times by the main family to clean up the dirty messes, so they aren't family. They are employees. Can't care if everyone is a pawn and disposable in the main family's game of chess including himself.

Like Disney, moms are dead here, which supports Vegas being distant from people. Love is a weakness that Kinn has shown, and Vegas noted ("Kinn's got his heart broken again because he gets fooled again by the ones he trusts most and the main family will get weaker and weaker"). Can't get hurt if you don't get attached. Can't be fooled if you don't trust anyone. We see this trust/distrust motif throughout the series with all the characters, except one...

Pete.

Who is loyal to the main family.

Who is fine with being a pawn.

Who volunteers to be disposable.

Who trusts unconditionally.

Vegas isn't an antagonist for Kinn. When we really look at it, Kinn and Vegas are parallels. They are on different ends of the same spectrum and battle with the same vices. Vegas needs a foil, a Dr. Jekyll to his Mr. Hyde, and Kinn isn't it. Kinn didn't save Porsche by battling Vegas. Kinn isn't playing a cat-and-mouse game with Vegas. It's Pete, which means Pete is the true hero of this arch.

Vegas is a proper villain...for Pete.

congrats to perth nakhun for being the first youtuber to get beheaded on screen game of thrones style

vegas: you ruined all my plans 😡 i'm gonna make you regret it. get ready for 500 volts straight to the balls.

pete, a masochist:

Pete: I want to be the mole.

Kinn: Vegas will torture you if he finds you.

Pete: I fucking hope so

Kinn: What?

Pete: What-