That Rolling Stone Article About Chappell Roan... The Bits About The Shit She Went Through Are Already

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-fae

Vegas and the Hedgehog dilemma

*Spoilers for episode 10*

Since episode 10 has been out, I’ve read a lot about Stockholm syndrome and Lima syndrome, normally used to justify relationships forged between abductors and their captives. While emotional psychology is not my forte (my area of expertise being language), what really caught my attention was the little hedgehog that I’m assuming Vegas has as a pet. Of all the attention given to details in his study room, the Virgin Mary with a skull, the gag ball, the lamp with green shade, the caged animal lit a bulb on my head.

Has anyone heard about the Hedgehog dilemma?

In short, hedgehogs are nocturnal animals with spines around their bodies. Unlike porcupines, their spines are way smaller and less noticeable but hard and painful in the same way. If not more. Similar to a cactus, you are aware of the large spines but sometimes the smaller ones go undetected, and then it is when you get prickled.

The hedgehog dilemma is really about intimacy. Like any other animal, hedgehogs long for physical warmth during winter and the way to obtain it is to get close to other hedgehogs. However, because they are not able to retract or shed their spines (and risk being eaten by predators), they end up stinging and hurting each other. In order to avoid pain, they need to keep a physical distance. Now let’s transpose this metaphor to human intimacy. People long for intimacy and warmth from other human beings. It is part of our psyche and crucial for our emotional stability. And intimacy can be at many levels – physical, emotional, sexual. However, because of one’s emotional baggage (or any other baggage – external, social, you name it), humans cannot get close to each other without hurting each other as well.

Now let’s transpose this dilemma onto Vegas.

Vegas.

Vegas Theerapanyakul.

Vegas, as I assume and from the hints we receive in the drama so far, has grown up in a very unhealthy environment. His father is everything but benevolent. His father does not accept his relationships, much less his sexuality. His father, and all the surrounding circumstances has made him use manipulation for survival. Vegas is, on a superficial level, cold, scheming, a psychopath I dare to say. He uses people to achieve his ends, he relishes in torture, and once they lose their purpose, he shoots them. There is no guilt or hesitation when he pulls the trigger (compare to how many times Kinn has pulled the trigger so far in the series).

Vegas is seemingly the perfect villain, but has anyone stop to think that he is hurt, so hurt beyond repair at this point of the series? Vegas is a hedgehog – he has deadly spines around him that he leaves a trail of devastation whichever he goes. But more than anything, Vegas longs for the warmth that he wants but never got. The scene with Tawan in front of the mirror, even when naked (which is one of the major steps one can take in terms of intimacy – to be naked with someone else and not be judged) feels rather fake and the complete opposite of intimacy. There are huge walls around Vegas there. It is almost as if Vegas had detached from his true-self and only a hollow version of him is left there to entertain Tawan and his delusion.     

So Vegas the hedgehog must have tried to become close to someone but the same way he has hurt others, others have hurt him. And rejected him – his father, the main family, Kinn (who I think he looks up to more than despise).

But we have another hedgehog in the series – Pete.

Pete’s spines are also out there – his smiley persona, his outgoing and carefree self. Pete strikes me as someone who is nice to everyone, but not really close to anyone. While Vegas has seen countless people succumb to his torture, Pete is the one to remain standing and refusing to entertain him.

No, no, no. Let’s rephrase that. Pete is the one to be able to see beyond the spines and accept Vegas.

No, no, no. Let’s rephrase it again.

Pete is the one to be able to bear the pain of Vegas’ spines and despite so, he is willing to remain by Vegas side. And Vegas, Vegas is not prepared to receive the full blow of Pete’s spines when these are out there pointing at him and stabbing him, inch by inch, skin and bones.

Because when it does, Vegas will understand what true intimacy is. And when he does, he will become so addicted to it that he will not know how to react.

And that, is what I am really waiting for.

(going back to my Kinn and Vegas protection corner)         

OUR DATING SIM [EP 6]

Lee Wan being *shooketh* yet delighted by workplace PDA assault

the palestinian olympic team in paris 🇵🇸

Happy of the End episode 2 eng sub

Dazed and confused, Chihiro awakes on a pile of garbage with memories of wedding still fresh in his mind. When out of the blue a young man named Keito appears before him. Instantly, he then recalls the night he spent with this person. The booze! The hotel! The punch to his face! Chihiro may not have a place to call home currently and Keito may not be a good person by any means, but maybe the two of them could be happy together. (synopsis from MDL)

I hurried to sub two episodes in a row because the official subs for this episode were so bad that I felt personally offended.

I'm honestly begging people to at least check out my subs before making up their mind about this show. The official subs are riddled with glaring misinterpretations such as thinking yakuchuu (junkie) means yakuza. If I were paying just to watch this show on Gagaoolala, I'd want my money back. I kind of wish the platform had never picked this show up if they can't do it any justice.

Previous episodes: Episode 1

How to download:

Download all files onto your computer. Make sure they are in the same folder. You cannot stream the subs on Google drive.

The subtitle file will auto-play on VLC Media Player as long as it has exactly the same name as the video file. It may not be supported by some other players.

Do not reupload to any streaming sites.

You can use my subs for fandom purposes with credit. However, please don’t share links to my subs outside of tumblr in public.

Episode 2

RAW courtesy of @nicks-den

subtitle

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butches with long hair photoset! all of these photos are from Meg Allen, a photographer who has a photo series featuring all kinds of butches. check out her website for more butch pictures!

OUR DATING SIM episodes 7-8