Cuddling Dialogue

(This is all a joke)

I love the Dick is pushing thirty and all the Batkids tease him about it and he’s dramatic. But what’s infinitely funnier is in the Robin story (the one illustrated by piccolo) Dick looks young enough to go undercover as a student in highschool.

Which means that Dick with a little bit of effort can pass for 17-19

Which means Jason ‘drawn like a 40 year old whose doing 20 to life in prison built like a brick shithouse’ Todd

Definitely looks older at 23 than Dick does at 27

And so the boys get their licks in and Dick does his howls moving castle let me lie on a bed dramatically like an 18th century women fainting

Calls Kori like ‘babe be honest am I too old for you, do I need Botox? HAVE YOU SEEN A GRAY HAIR PLEASE’ on speaker in front of the Batkids because honestly it’s a funny joke.

And then they go to a bar

And Dick gets ID checked

At 27

He’s been a hero for 19 years

He just got fucking ID checked at the bar

And then when they get into the bar

Jason gets called sir

And he gets called Dude

Because he looks barley legal apparently

And that’s even fucking worse

How is it everyone can laugh at him for being old and HE DOESNT EVEN GET OLD MAN PERKS.

HE HAS OLD MAN BONES, THEY SOUND LIKE HE NEEDS WD-40 (what do you mean that because of the 23 years of intense acrobatics and the 19 years of punching People, and carpel tunnel inducing precision shut up)

And Jason finds it even funnier until dick desperately asks how old the barkeep thinks he is and the dude goes like “idk 21? Barely”

And Jay laughs until the dude went “yeah I mean you look like a kid whose uncle is taking him here for his first drink”

And Jason cuts the laugh mid HA and goes “excuse me?”

Anyway now Dick if finding it funny again

It stops being funny all together when he’s the only one to get ID’d on Tims 21st birthday

Because Tim is 4’0 (it’s only a 3 INCH HEIGHT DIFFERENCE dICK)

And has baby fat on his cheeks at 21 and he can still pitch his voice into an androgynous or fem voice.

(Tim paid the bar keep to do this, he’s stirring shit)

'i should draw' 'i should paint' 'i should write fic' 'i should read' 'i should embroider' 'i shou-

*stares at a wall for 8 hours*

Batman is great with kids. He's kind, he's gentle, he's patient. But never towards his own.

A tragedy of Bruce being a parent, stopping seeing his kids as kids.

I hate them

I like to think that the ao3 staff find out that ao3 is down from the screams of anguish on tumblr alone

Did you know that Dexter Holland (The Offspring band member) has a degree in biology and a master's in molecular biology???

Cause I did not.

I was listening to Five Finger Death Puch and heard the song Gone Away and I thought 'This doesn't sound like their usual style, I swear I heard it from another band' So I looked up who wrote it, got Dexter, scrolled a little and then came across the information that he has his masters????

Was this common knowledge or am I just living under a rock

I would not be surprised I barely keep up with celebrity gossip but this seemed really out of the blue to me.

bruce wayne’s weird scary daughter spotted with second, weirder (but not scarier) teenage girl at gala

the more i love him the more he'll suffer tbh