4/20 Coppos, Aka Jeans Nightmare Blunt Rotation

29 / 08 / 2024 🪩💪🏽🌈

this is one of the stupidest things ive ever come up with! 💘

#suggestive #nsfw talk

David Cronenberg for Today Magazine, 1981

Took around 3 days from start to finish

en-ee-way gender sucks

⦕⁅⁅⁅ɔ  ⦕⁅⁅⁅ɔ  ⦕⁅⁅⁅ɔ  ⦕⁅⁅⁅ɔ  ⦕⁅⁅⁅ɔ

you have encountered a group of trilobites! reblog to help them on their journey

I need to watch this video every day or I get sick

I love tumblr. I love that tumblr is the best social media site of 2021.

Every other site has spent the last decade perfecting the art of targeted ads. I am a wallet of flesh and blood which must be stripped bare and profiled and picked apart for the maximally efficient way to squeeze profit from my presence. Every other site will fold and morph itself to a shape of my liking - like a fairy tale trickster stealing memories and taking their mold - to lull me into compliance and loosen my coin purse.

Facebook sees me searching fitness equipment and injects my timeline with athletic wear ads. Reddit profiles the subreddits I follow and eagerly promotes a new coding bootcamp or cloud service at every turn. Google overhears me lamenting over my moving to-do list on voice call and fills in my “how much to tip movers” query before I’ve gotten the third word typed out.

Tumblr never even tried.

They could have. The information is there. The basic infrastructure, presumably, exists. Tumblr can recommend me tags based on tags I follow, blogs based on blogs I follow, even posts that for one reason or another may strike my fancy. Tumblr could be - SHOULD be - funneling this framework into advertising, as the only means that free-to-use social media platforms can turn a profit in our capitalistic hellscape.

They just don’t.

Today I saw an ad for treating Hyperhidrosis - a condition, I think, in which a person sweats too much - and I saw it twice, four posts apart, and it is so incredibly benignly impersonally ineptly untargeted toward me compared to all other pinpoint-aimed advertising that I’m endeared to it. Tumblr knows NOTHING about me. 8 years, 51,000 likes, and tumblr has not learned a THING about me.

Advertisements for a mattress? Shitty mobile game ads that don’t make even the slightest pretense at being anything other than a candy crush rip-off? Choose-your-own adventure games either about Royal Espionage or Choosing The Wrong Dress For Your Date with ZERO in-between.

And then this. This here. The culmination, the crown-jewel of tumblr’s nihilistic non-compliance with the state of social media advertising. Any pretense of capitalistic exchange is abandoned at the gas station by the side of the road. This is not a company. This is not a product. This is not anything that fulfills the contract of consumer and seller. 

THIS. THIS IS WHAT TUMBLR HAS TO OFFER INSTEAD.

“Pour vinegar on your bread, fuck you.”

“Put it in the garbage, fuck you.”

“Your wife says you’re a fucking dumbass, fuck you.”

That’s it. That’s the advertisement. You vinegar-breadless cuck. You virgin extraordinaire bereft of bread and garbage can. I am fucking your wife right now in our vinegar-soaked motel bed. She puffs a cigarette which I pulled from the trashcan and we both laugh heartily at her recounts of your immasculine ineptitude. I don’t want your money. I don’t want anything from you. Fuck you. 

Amazing. Amazing. What a state of things to ring in 2021. What a great platform we all collectively choose to be on.

mmm soob

Just had a dream that a novel exists which is written from the POV of an old man dying in the 1920s in the form of diary entries and bit by bit it's revealed it's actually a closeted trans woman who was out during her youth and forced to recloset and now I desperately want to read it

Knife Wife - A Sasha Rackett playlist

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked - Cage the Elephant//You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi//Streets of London - Ralph McTell//Girl Anachronism - The Dresden Dolls//Teenagers - My Chemical Romance//Can't Trust Anybody Now - Jeff Williams//Assassin - Dan Bull//Imortals - Fall Out Boy//Nevermore- Jeff Williams//This Life Is Mine - Casey Lee Williams//Young Volcanos - Fall Out Boy//The Good, The Bad and The Dirty - Panic! At The Disco//Cheshire Kitten - S J Tucker//Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story - Hamilton//Found/Tonight - Ben Platt and Lin Manuel Miranda//I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor//Run Through Walls - The Script//Zombie - The Cranberries