Every Breath Is A Second Chance.

“The Fault in our Death Stars”

So I had this idea ages ago, but I never really got started on it. Earlier this month, I finally did and it turned out great! :D So I’m saving this graphic for May 4th, but now I find out #thefaultinourdeathstars is already a thing?!?

Oh well. I guess there’s little point in keeping it from you, then…

Anyway, I was on a roll, so this also happened:

A little experimentation. Take some time to watch it and then to think about it before you'd be foolishly judgmental. If you're rightfully that, it's ok. But only then. Enjoy :)

How to fail university

First of all, attend a university, which you are most certainly not fond of. Work really hard but not as much as you see fit, instead push as hard as expectations require, and burn out. Once you're incapable of doing anything further, it won't be hard to fail enough tests to fail several subjects. I know you're smart enough to get to the exams, even if you were a total mess when you had tests. Once you're miraculously facing a couple of exams (it's wondrous because you haven't yet failed by merely the tests), make sure you're extremely busy with unrelated business and when it comes to the very week of the exams, procrastinate! More than ever in your life! More than altogether in your life! Then, when you've done enough procrastination and that voice in your head is shouting, that you should study, do some studying but pay attention to do it very skin-deeply. Okay, you're at the exam and you've completed an utterly half-ass process of learning, a.k.a no learning at all, you can be at ease, for there's a fair chance, that you'll fail. Every single subject. One by one.

There you have it, my secret recipe for failing uni.

This is an ironic approach of telling my story at how I've performed so far. OK, maybe the end was just a predection, but a very realistic one. My point is not to gain some of yourvaluablepity, and definetely not to set up an example. Well it is in fact an example but not one to follow.

What I'm trying to say with this excessive and rather sarcastic post is hidden in the very first sentence. Do not EVER give in to reasons, that lack the consideration of YOU. Every single person is unique and has a life, that has the potential to be full. However, this diversity naturally implies the pointlessness of schemes. We can't live by the guidance of movie-themes or advices of people we look up to (or sometimes ones, that we don't even look up to). We have to find our own way. And the path, that we'll follow, will eventually determine, whether we arrive at our destination or not.

Our primary aspects of considering careers are its profitability and the likelihood of being employed. But these won't make our lives worth living. Either we accept it, or not, the truth is, that we spend a major part of our days in the little boxes we call workplaces. And it matters enermously if it's right for us. And not in a sense of us being able to provide our family with everything. Our profession has to make us happy. As St. Augustine said "Love and do what you will.".

My conclusion will be hard for some of you to swallow but please bear with me. The Bible says, that we shouldn't worry about our needs for they will be fulfilled be the Divine Providence of God. And this is what makes me calm while I rerender my plan for the future. My faith gives me confidence to say all this. This is why I'm not afraid to say, that there's a certain destination I aim for. This is why I'm on the side, that says you can bravely follow your dreams. Because when you're convinced, that your dreams are justified by the Great Maker, you fear not what is yet to be faced.

young Shakespeare has done it again. actually no, he's not young, he's thirty-something and that's technically dead. still, pretty powerful suff for an old man

Visiting Chyna’s family in Kentucky and I saw a gazebo and figured it needed to have a song about it.

You: I'd say it's complicated but then...

Forget the People

The news having spread quickly and having reached the last poor, unemployed soul, a miserably thin crowd came up to Mr Dis App’s door. As he walked out with his humble luggage, they overwhelmed him.

He had thought he had braced himself against the jeering and scolding and ridiculing. But the judgmental people were shouting wishes of safe passage, the cynics wailed without any comment and his loving mother said her heart was breaking for him.

Nothing too predictable but still, all acceptable from people with no fate and spirit. This would be, Dis App pondered, a gesture unconserved.

He had one backpack, one messenger bag and--what he knew no one would know is a piece of luggage to his new life--a watch.

“Where is Scott?” he asked himself.

But he knew, fate is no mirage, it would not dissipate if he blinked or looked away.

And the used car was indeed parked at the end of the street.

Cottages with unmanaged surroundings. Weeds and poppies all the way to the city limits.

We all must try to be good.

Tender is the Night - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Dare you to move

"Everybody waits for you now. What happens next? Yeah, what happens next? I dare you to move ... Like today never happened before." sings Jon Foreman. Dare you to move was and probably still is a great hit but there's more to it, than just radically high sales.

There are neccesarily times, when we're on the floor, or just struggling to find our way. This is how we live. Searching for the right thing to do. But what do we do in these times? I believe there's nothing we could possibly achieve on our own, we need someone to dare us to move. That first step, with which every journey begins, is the one, that we are incapable of making.

I've been all about surviving lately. I worked hard, so that I wouldn't fail on tests, I never went out with friends, so that I could save time, I relaxed only on one day of the week, I've even neglected my meals. My one and only goal was to last until the big romantic turn, which I've been waiting for for ages now, would come.

Turns out, this was a very futile attitude because now, after months of merely enduring, I'm left with no success. I was hoping to get a literary agent, or an editor, or something to get published. Actually, I was quite confident about it. I know my novel is good, and I believe it's the best I could do, or even beyond that. But it just didn't happen. Those, who replied, were sadly giving negative answers. I've kept my hope, saying I have like four more answers to come, one of those will surely be a contract offer. But it's been a long time now and yet, the mails have stopped to come.

What do I do now? This is what I kept asking myself in the past couple of days. My studies are at the lowest level, which suffices for staying in. My book most seemingly is not very good at selling itself. There is no miraculous benefactor, who would support my career as anything.

I've been thinking, maybe I should really concentrate on my current studies and get a diploma as an engineer - it pays well. But then, I want to be more than that. Free. Of course I'm not getting a degree in philosophy, or arts but still... Something else. I'd love to keep working on my book and write new ones. I want to travel, make acquintances, act memorably, and always remain myself. I just have absolutely no idea how to do all these without making sacrifices I wouldn't wanna. Naturally, I'm ready to give up things but I was referring to relationships I'm not willing to damage.

And suddenly, just now, I see clearly, that there's so much potential. So many things I used to believe in just a couple months ago. Why is my faith in them fading? I'm at the contradiction line. If I make one more step in the direction of this surviving-lifestyle, I'm done, I'm going against everything I am and want to be. Here's the trick: I have the motivation. There's someone, who says: I dare you to move. He picks me up, He's doing it even right now. Despite how I see my present state, I know there'll be deliverance, so I aim for that. If I'm true to my beliefs, to my past decisions, there's always redemption and restoration. I can't wait for tomorrow to begin :)