And We're Back With It!

Shazam can be terrifying when he wants to right? I mean the guy is the CHAMPION OF MAGIC and has the power of the gods, of certain gods. More importantly, he has zues.

Why hasn't anyone had him make thunderstorms when angry and make thunder so loud you'll go deaf. Why isn't he making storms or playing with the atmospheric pressure when mad.

I am imagining thunder bringer with the cause being a cult messed with danny and hurt him while trying to make him obey them. I want terrifying shazam. I want Shazam and phantom supremacy. I want Shazam being an absolute menace and reminding wveryobe why he's the champion. I want the gods occasionally messing with them. I want aphrodite giving phantom tips on how to woo him. I want her making their love story.

I mostly want a pissed off overprotective Shazam and hurt Danny fic . I want Shazam to unintentionally get on batmans contingency plan list and take the number one spot.

doomed yaoi this doomed yuri that what about the ones left behind. what about the two vertices of a triangle whose apex was ripped off. what about the bitter, resentful, codependent bitches with a shared crater in their soul the size of a missing third, clinging to eachother in the aftermath of their loss desperately trying (or refusing) to move on. people who press together like the lips of a wound stitched shut

Hypothetical New Type Of Guy:

A guy who regards "virginity" in the same way European colonialism defines "untouched nature". Nobody else who has been here before is relevant enough to matter, other men might as well not exist. Every woman that he has not personally fucked is a virgin.

Once you've been on tumblr for long enough, you'd be immune to culture shock for being isekai'd. There's no fantasy world bizarre enough that you'd really be surprised by anything, it's just "oh that's how you do things around here". You could get whisked away to the Land of Oz and see nothing you couldn't shrug off. You're already used to the concpt that anything you say might prompt the sudden appearance of a living, talking straw man who shows up out of nowhere to sing you a song about how they don't have a brain.

Was doing something unrelated but

Can you imagine a world where nobody knows the batkids are actually Batman's children and hence, when they hear them yelling at each other "I'll report this to Batman!" They think it's actually serious team discussion

And they don't know that for them it literally translates into "I'm telling dad!"

Like, You see Nightwing arguing with Red Hood and going "Oh, i'm SO reporting this to Batman"

"OH NO, YOURE NOT"

"YES I AM"

And everyone else thinks this is serious? And it could affect Hood's status as an ally?

But really is just Dick telling his little brother he's snitching about his broken arm to their dad-

Or you see Red Robin trying to bribe Robin and Spoiler "I'm reporting your actions to Batman"

"Yeah, gotta start the report about it, and he's going to be so-"

"... How much?"

And they smile maliciously, and anyone else thinks RR did something REALLY bad but it's just that he exceeded his weekly allowed coffee and his sibblings found out

Because they also do it to other people, like Tim does it to Supes when he's arguing with Kon-

can someone mansplain the entire history of Billy Batson Captain Marvel, the Shazamily, and Fawcett City to me??? or at least like. . . the main parts

I physically need Jason Todd to have several popular accounts as a reviewer of, honestly, anything.

New article in Gotham Gazette? A famous five-star reviewer already wrote a comment on what unethical methods the writer had used, along with debunking the rest of the article. And guess what? It has more likes than the original post.

New restaurant opened? Another famous critique just finished polishing a very detailed post regarding everything inside it — the decor, the cooking techniques, the service (he almost never picks up on waiters, though). It is so on the spot that, honestly, the owners can't even argue with the review.

New movie? Uh-uh, be sure you write your characters properly. New vigilante? Get detailed information on your methods of work and fighting style — and, hey, it might be even useful. New book? Be careful, someone is about to kick your ass on the Internet, unless written worthy.

The funniest part? No one assumes that it is the same person.

And the batfamily? Well, they have no time for this. Expect for... Tim.

Tim, sending a link to Vale's article: Hood. Drag her ass.

Jason: lol

Jason: give me, like, an hour–

Tim: Had I told you you are my favourite?

Jason: i might have an idea, yeah

Tim: Hood. The new restaurant is so ass. They are also homophobic and stared at me and Kon the whole evening like we killed someone. Do something.

Jason: sec

(The restaurant gets closed in, like, two days after that)

Tim: Jason. Bruce pisses me off this week.

Jason: LOL

Jason: wake up, birdie, the new article shitting on Batman's technics just dropped

Tim: YAY

Shazam! (2019) Issue #15

More on Lanterns and Marvel

See original post here: https://www.tumblr.com/moonlightcycle571/765612915343704064/lantern-corps-and-a-10-year-old-child-in-a-last

I talked about the Lantern list (a ranking of people who to this day refuse lantern offers) and having Billy Batson be number 1, and have Captain Marvel be number 2.

This would naturally attract the attention of Lantern Cores everywhere (like what do you mean they received offers from multiple lanterns multiple times), the space community (why does the Terra City of Fawcette have dominating spots) as well as the JL (Cap, why are you outclassed by a civilian from your own city).

I also fully believe Lois Lane is on the same boat as Billy Batson when it comes to Lantern offers. One does not jump off buildings or sneak into war zones without a great deal of will power and induce a great deal of fear. Lois Lane is definitely in the top 10.

Coincidentally, in the top 50, you will find Cat Grant, Vic Sage and surprisingly Vicki Vale (if she can make BATMAN shudder and be wary of her, she can make anyone fear her).

So it’s been accepted that journalists have a lot of will power, a lot of rage and can put the fear of god into you. Clark is not bitter that he’s not on the list, no sire. Never mind that Jimmy Olsen is in the Top 100.

Batman might want to study this phenomenon.

But anyways. One does not stay at the top without ridiculous numbers. As the only top 10 ers on earth, they have grown used to random rings trying to get them on space politics quests or whatnot.

So now imagine this: Lois Lane and Billy collab on a project. While they are speaking, random rings start to show up. Instinctively, both swat them away like flies while maintaining eye contact. They don’t realise what they are doing. Clark is having an aneurism.

At some point, they both realise that the other is swatting the rings away with the same nonchalance as the other. They immediately understand what’s up. The shit eating grin they both had made a bunch of yellow rings swarm around them.

Billy gets asked on why he doesn’t want to join the Green lanterns? Billy says it’s because he hates cops. Lois nods.

Hal cries himself to sleep that night.

Bonus:

Batman stalking a civilian named Batson who for some reason is number one in the Lanterns List, with an alarming amount of yellows.

Batman finds a black hair, blue eyes, orphan child.

Batman: Alfred call the guy

Bonus 2:

Nightwing, trying to meet his future maybe brother: Hi 👋

Billy, sees an authority figure in Blue that wields batons and electricity: …

Billy immediately kicks Nightwing while yelling ACAB

Billy runs away

Nightwing cries himself to sleep that night.

whatever here's life