I Want A Fic Where Danny Is Adopted But Not By The JL But A Villian. BUT! It Is A Very Minor Villian

headcanon that after Dick Grayson being Robin all of the batkids interchangeably use “holy ____ batman” even at the worst possible moments

Steph, staring down at Tim in the medbay cot: holy common cold, batman

Tim: please stop

Steph: holy spleenless sillybilly batman

Tim: steph please

Jason Todd on the floor, bruised and bloodied: dad?

(The timer ticks down to three seconds)

Jason: well holy shitballs batman I’m going to fucking di-

KABOOM

Shazam! (2019) Issue #15

I have a hate-love relationship with love squares made of 2 people that just for the life of them can't figure out if the other also loves them

(spoiler alert, they do)

Me: *looking at a porcelain hand in the home decor aisle of a store* if I lost my hands in some kind of tragic accident, I’d decorate my entire home with hand-shaped things. Then I’d invite guests over for like, dinner parties and such and sit there expectantly just basking in their discomfort.

My boyfriend: Do you hear what you say when you talk? Do you know what you just said to me?

Danny is a paladin in the Young Justice Team.

I have wanted to have the young justice kids have a video game or board game they can all play but they would have equal chance at winning. (My first thought was Pokémon tournaments bet robin gets way to intense on the competitive stats) and any video game that requires fast reflexes Kid flash/impulse dominates at unfairly. So doomed is out. This is something for them to bond over after missions and training. And they settle on DCs version of dnd.

As they are playing they notice that some of the ways the dnd classes are used matches pretty well with some tactics they use on missions. Superboy is the team barbarian, Robin is the rouge, wonder girl is a fighter, Danny recently learned how to use ectoplasm for healing but he is a heavy hitter too so he is a paladin. Maybe paladin? (You guys can figure out what the other members are.) Oh and this gets them wondering if some strategies in dnd can be applied in the field. Several of which do and the mentors happy at the increased team work. Though they are confused at some of the code phrases the kids are using. (It’s not code just dnd terminology.)

Really this is what gave me the idea.

I found out what I did wrong. The braids are too loose.

Dear people who wear braids,

How tf do you stop the top of your head from getting fuzzy?? Like, I'm wearing braids rn and my hair is just sticking out from everywhere

This is what I'm dealing with and idk how to prevent it. Are my braids not tight enough? Is the problem with my hair?? Someone pls help because this happens every single time I DJ braids and keep them on for longer than a day

Tim, 18 and bored out of his mind in his big CEO office, is interrupted by a scrawny teenager.

"Hey, I heard Wayne Enterprises gives out like, grants and stuff," the teen starts, clearly awkward and blushing green. "I need money to hire lawyers to put away my creepy GodFather for misuse of a mind-controlling Meta Ability and also stalking."

Tim shelves that.

Takes a look at the teen, probably Damian's age or thereabouts, that just floated through his wall of windows at over 30 stories.

White hair, floating, green eyes (lazarus green what the fuck), jumpsuit (he's never seen that logo and is already memorizing it), fidgeting.

Tim takes what the teen just said off the shelf.

"And your godfather is...?"

"Can't say without giving away who I am."

"Okay. How is he 'creepy'?"

"Keeps trying to brainwash me into being his son, or tries to clone me, keeps sending goons after me, keeps trying to win over my mom, won't stop cosplaying as dracula, and I don't really know off the top of my head. I made a list, but it's like...somewhere."

Tim took a deep breath.

Held it.

Let it go.

That reminded him way too much of Ra's.

Held out his black Amex.

"Go crazy."

Yet another JL learns about Batfam post

Featuring: everybody loves Nightwing

So, Nightwing isn’t technically a member of the JL, but everyone knows him and adores him. Even Batman seems to tolerate him fine.

They’re on a mission. Let’s say alien invasion. Or killer robots. Something large scale and dramatic.

Everyone’s fighting in the same general vicinity. Nightwing and Batman just happen (read: either very carefully planned, unconscious habit, or a combination of the two) to be fairly close together.

Suddenly, an explosion happens. Everyone is knocked down. Including the aliens/robots. Conveniently, they stop being an issue now, so we can focus on The Reveal.

Anyway, everyone knocked down. They start to get up and look around, checking to see that everyone is fine. And it looks like everyone is well and accounted for, except…

Nightwing!

Where’s Nightwing? They all start to panic (except Batman). Is Nightwing okay? Where did he go? Is he hurt?

And then Nightwing ducks out from under Batman’s cape, with a grin on his face, sunny and cheerful as ever.

“Well it looks like that instinct is fully intact. Explosion? Duck under the cape.”

He laughs at himself and Batman’s face twitches in what his family would read as a smile and most of the JL thinks they’re hallucinating.

“Do you two know each other?” They want to ask. And it’s been long enough that it would probably be awkward to ask. But they’re confused/curious enough that they might ask anyway.

whatever here's life

My moral high horse is so tall that I consider mocking anyone to be "punching down". Unfortunately for you I am a terrible person and will do so anyway. The horse silently disapproves of this but I don't respond to judgy side-eye.