Here It Goes. I Want To Be Mad At You, I Wanna Yell At You And Call You Names For Being Such A Shitty

Here it goes. I want to be mad at you, I wanna yell at you and call you names for being such a shitty ugly friend but then again you're my friend (or were at least) so I miss you. I fucking miss you. And I'm apart from other friends as well but I don't miss them. There's actually one in particular, which is involved in all this and for some reason I don't miss that other friend. We'll call that other friend Red (that's way it's not male or female). And Red has screwed me over in past in many different ways so I just had it with Red and Red's goings I had it and I drove myself apart and it was as easy as that (or it has been, let's see what happens when school starts) but with you... maybe you haven't screwed me over enough times for me to care less? But then what the fuck is wrong with me?! Like, once should be enough and if it's not then what kind of codependent being am I? I don't wanna be that girl. I don't wanna have a -second chances jar- in my pocket. So, I am mad at you. SO mad. Why can't you just check in, see what I've been up to. But oh no! How could you? You're a busy person right? Well I see you making time to check on others but I guess not me. And you don't even have the guts to tell me why the fuck are you behaving like a 3rd grader with me. So, fine, be childish. See if I find a fuck to give.