JERK

Fuck! You already know what I’m about to say

I’ve fallen.

Lips have been touched

Body has been hugged

Eyes have been met

Hands have been held

And fuck it – I’m melting

my heart is a ripe fruit rotting in my chest

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

I lost every friendship I ever had and it still hurts.

1. Finneas O’Connell / 2. Ocean Vuong / 3. adampvrrish / 4. Otessa Moshfegh / 5. Fairycosmos / 6. Richard Siken / 7. frenchtoastlesbian

everyone: what's your goal in life?

me: to write a story so soul snatching, so gut wrenching and so devastatingly beautiful that it leaves you crying at 3am when you have a 8am lecture/shift and it inspires people to write entire essays, to write entire fanfics, mood boards and playlists based on it.

Looking through old photos and I found one of my junior homecoming dance. It was the night after my dad's funeral. My friend who'd stayed with me the entire week, in my bed, through all the tears, made me get out of bed that night. She pulled my shirt up over my head and told me to get in the shower. She washed my hair for me. She curled it. She rubbed foundation onto my face, lined my eyes, and put me in my dress.

She contacted my other friends who were feeling awkward and unsure of what to do and told them the party was still on, to meet at my house for photos before the dance.

They all showed up, and I went to the dance, and we all screamed and cried, and I took my first step to healing.

I haven't spoken to that girl in five years. Nothing happened. I moved away. She fell in love. We grew apart and into our own lives.

It's strikes me how beautiful the ephermeral nature of teenage friendships can be.

We may not need each other now, but there was a time when I needed her more than anyone. And sometimes she needed me.

And the universe put us together just then. Just when it was most important. Not a year too late or too soon. The same town, the same school, the same classroom where we could meet. Right when it mattered.

We come and go from people's lives every day, and along the way we may get a chance to love someone fully, just for a little while.

I'll remember every single one.

i don’t listen to perfect places by lorde for a few months then it comes on and i feel reborn cause we are young and we’re ashamed. sends us to perfect places all of our heroes fading now i can’t stand to be alone let’s go to perfect places all the nights spent off our faces tryna find these perfect places what the fuck are perfect places anyway all the nights spent off our faces tryna find these perfect places what the fuck are perfect places anyway. all the nights spent off our faces. tryna find these perfect places what the fuck are perfect places. anyway.

KNITTED 

She had knit you a sweater, 

You wear it every day. 

You’ve had it sixteen years so- 

It’s to no surprise that you'd never throw it away. 

The threads follow you like a trail of shadows, 

It’s thin and damaged

It smells of hard work 

She had knit you a sweater, 

You wear it every day

You say it’s disgusting 

But you never cleaned it anyway. 

She had knit you a sweater, 

You hate it with such pain 

WINTER

The grey skies take over, fuzziness endures 

Staying by the fire could be helpful 

Just don’t mourn over the storm;

As you sit, gazing at the warm fire

You know you are still cold 

From the protection of  The lonely winter.