Honey, We Talked About This.

Filipino artist, Gregory Halili, carves intricate skulls into mother of pearl shells.

not the bad vibes 😓

tim is so done

people will be like "go to therapy" when they see people engaging w freaky kinks as if a therapist wouldn't sit there, look you straight in the eye, and tell you that there's absolutely nothing wrong with that

He's about to rain down a million smooches

Thank you so much to @tacticallyunsoundjohnnyboy for commissioning me to draw my favourite husbands 🫶

Nightwing: I wish I was an only child again..

Red Hood: and I wish I was dead again..

Nightwing *looks at him*

Red Hood *preparing to be scolded*

Nightwing:

Red hood:

Nightwing:

Nightwing *quietly*: damn never mind forgot I had more siblings *walks away*

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Was he- were you actually considering killing me-

headcanon that the bat kids have a shared note on their phones called "shit bruce says that's technically not a lie but is INCREDIBLY misleading"

examples include:

bruce, calmly sipping coffee while covered in bandages: "the mission went fine"

bruce, after disappearing for 3 days: "i was busy with work"

bruce, to a socialite asking about his kids: "they're very well-behaved"

bruce, after alfred finds him testing potentially lethal tech on himself: "the chances of catastrophic failure are statistically insignificant"

and the latest addition, from last tuesday:

tim: "did you seriously tell superman you were 'mildly inconvenienced' when you had THREE BROKEN RIBS?"

bruce, not looking up from his computer: "three broken ribs IS a mild inconvenience"

jason, walking past: "to fucking WHO?"

bruce: "language."

jason: "TO WHOM, then, you absolute psychopath?"

———

damian adds his own entry later that night:

"Father told me today that Grayson was 'somewhat enthusiastic' as Robin. This is the same Grayson who did a quadruple somersault off a skyscraper just to catch a hat that was blowing away from a civilian."

dick, reading over his shoulder: "in my defense, it was a really nice hat."

what were meant to be stickers for the call of booty event </3 still love em tho

simon knew it was over the moment he realized just how freaky you are.

simon knew he was massive—he always had.

it was a quiet fear that followed him, the thought that if he lost control for even a moment, he might hurt you. his touch was always careful, deliberate.

his hands were wrapped around your neck, not tight, but gentle—just enough to feel the pulse beneath your skin. his thumbs rested softly against your throat, his grip light, careful not to leave a mark. but when you started frantically grinding your hips against his, rolling your body in desperate need, everything shifted.

a low, guttural noise rumbled from his throat as his body responded on instinct. without meaning to, his hands tightened, gripping your neck for leverage as you moved against him. he froze for a second, startled by his own strength. but then—

it happened.

you clenched tighter around him, your head falling back as a broken moan escaped your lips. you were crying out, completely undone, lost in the moment. your hips bucked harder, desperate for more, and it hit him like a bolt of lightning:

you liked it rough.

you, his innocent, angelic girl — the one with soft smiles and bright eyes, the one who blushed at the smallest touch — had been hiding it all along.

he stared at you, stunned, as you begged with your body, your innocent exterior cracking to reveal the wicked, burning desire beneath. his angel wasn't just soft and sweet

—you were freaky.

a low growl rumbled in his chest as he leaned in, the ghost of a grin tugging at his lips. “you've been holding out on me, haven't you, lovie?” he murmured, his voice dark with amusement and something far more dangerous.

Not ever crying is POWERFUL. Healthy? No. But when you have a character who never cries who just fucking loses it?? Holy shit

All this to say, Batman's children are manipulative as hell when need be. Some of them definitely can cry on command, but if they do so too often, the effects lessen, so they choose wisely.

Who do they manipulate with these crocodile tears? Their overprotective, very intimidating, very no-nonsense father, of course.

Dick, age 11, accidentally flips into Superman, which is essentially like running into a wall and winds up faceplanting on the floor: Owww

Superman: oh sorry, buddy! But y'know this is why Batman told you not to do those flips in the halls-

Dick, embarrassed and afraid Batman is going to yell at him, immediately starts crying: B! B!

Superman, panicked: no, no, shh, hey, it's okay, I'm sorry, here let me help-

Dick, sobbing: no! You'll hurt me again!

Batman, appears out of nowhere: What. Did. You. Do.

Superman: he ran into me, I didn't-

Batman: is your name not "super" man? Could you not use your "super" hearing or "super" vision or "super" speed to get out of the way?

Superman: he's fine! It wasn't my-

Dick, bravely through his tears: my head hurts

Batman, gently: do u think u have a concussion, chum?

Dick: I d- don't know I just wanna go h-home

Batman: of course, we'll go home now and after dinner we'll get ice cream, just the two of us. How does that sound?

Dick, sniffing: okay

Batman, whispering to Superman: if u ever so much as touch a hair on my son's head again I will pour boiling liquid kryptonite in your ears while you sleep. From now on you are dead to me. I'll see you in hell, Clark Kent.

Superman: bruce that seems a little extreme-

Batman: another word and I'll guarantee after I'm done with you, your funeral will have to be closed casket

Superman:

Batman: okay, chum, let's get you home! *picks up his child*

Dick, peering over Bruce's shoulder at Clark with a small smile, mouthing: sorry, Uncle Clark, love you

Superman muttering to himself: heaven help us if he adopts more children