The Future Of Poop, Comic Monologue Penned By Peter Bradley, Performed By Russil Tamsen. Original Here.

From cupcakesandcum on Tumblr comes this dirty, raw, disturbing, yet evocative sexual monologue. Performed by Russil Tamsen. 5 mins. Original text here.

The piece concerns the five first encounters in a temporary relationship. A ragged pair of stockings exemplifies the couple's disarray with terminal runs.   It was great to be allowed to experiment with this writing! In the audio I played with rhythm, adding in some character voices, and some out of control sound effects. I totally went for the humor too... All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

The Cleanup, excerpted from a novel by Ravi Kotecha, narrated by Russil Tamsen.  13 mins.  Written version here. A couple of young dudes from India - runaways from an earlier chapter - have inserted themselves into the business of smuggling guns and opium. They are now wandering around the rutted back tracks of Afghanistan, haggling and trying to spend as much of their arms trade money as possible buying up as much opium as their rickety vehicles can carry.  Wow, this was a vocal actor’s challenge. Jumping between several Indian and Arabic voicings, phew!  I love picturing these exotic locales… And it’s a nerve-wracking tale too: we’re just waiting for the shoe to drop, for their hubris to catch up with them! That, however, would be part of a later chapter. I initially voiced the narrator as an Indian, but later decided to go with my regular voice. It’s a tough call when the narrator is first person, but it seemed like too much Indian the other way. What do you think?

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Here's the first of two dialogues, audio selections from the writings of the talented David Blanton aka irrationalgraceistaken, as narrated by Russil Tamsen. 5 mins. Original text here.

The chapter is amusingly risque. A Nawleens poetry dude shoots the shit in a cafe with a very imaginative friend who's trying to 'help' him write his novel. 5 mins.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

I made Tom Robbins crack up! Score!

At the writers conference, famed novelist Tom Robbins had us do a writing exercise.

1. Write down your favorite word...  (Then we all read out our favorite words. Mine was Australopithecus. Say what?)

2. Write a first sentence of a story/novel/whatever, using that word... (Oh, if had known that's where he was heading!... So we read out our sentences. I had the class laughing.)  

3. Write a second sentence that connects to that first one and opens up the potential of the story.  (We all read our completed sentence pair.) Here's what I came up with:

"Most early hominids sported shaggy manes, but none had a more luxurious, enviable head of hair than Bob the Australopithecus. His sweaty female, Boo, however showed little interest in his chevelure and seemed far more jazzed by the rugged Javamen who had been beaching their sea canoes that morning." I didn't get a chance to explain away the time travel aspect... ;-)

Autumn Wing, a monologue by Blank's Page, performed by Russil Tamsen. 5 mins. Written version here.

A wistful piece from the windowless halls of an insane asylum, with its routines of meds and scheduling... and one redemptive walk per day past a mystery lady in the courtyard.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

A Public Resource is a short story-monologue written by Erika (processproduct), narrated by Russil Tamsen. 11 mins. Original text here.

Erika asked me to read this darkly humorous piece of hers (which was featured on Tumblr awhile ago) about a naive webcam girl who remains flippant even as she is literally starving. The  stranded gal entertains herself without food in her city basement during the chaotic aftermath of a blizzard. Love ya, Erika!  

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

The Cleanup, excerpted from a novel by Ravi Kotecha, narrated by Russil Tamsen.  13 mins.  Written version here. A couple of young dudes from India - runaways from an earlier chapter - have inserted themselves into the business of smuggling guns and opium. They are now wandering around the rutted back tracks of Afghanistan, haggling and trying to spend as much of their arms trade money as possible buying up as much opium as their rickety vehicles can carry.  Wow, this was a vocal actor's challenge. Jumping between several Indian and Arabic voicings, phew!  I love picturing these exotic locales... And it's a nerve-wracking tale too: we're just waiting for the shoe to drop, for their hubris to catch up with them! That, however, would be part of a later chapter. I initially voiced the narrator as an Indian, but later decided to go with my regular voice. It's a tough call when the narrator is first person, but it seemed like too much Indian the other way. What do you think?

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

9. The Poet and The Thief, Part One. 

An intriguing short story written last year by Jen von Mountebank aka jayarrarr, one of our renowned editors here on Tumblr, and narrated by Russil Tamsen. Original text here.

The four characters include a grungy thief who talks in an odd pirate-ish patois, an upset and pompous poet, and Woody Allen as The Narrator, who says he made the other two up. Now they're all sitting in the same radio theater jail cell. It's a philosophical dissection about whether it's even possible for a writer to avoid borrowing/stealing. (The language is a tad complex, so listen closely!)

Part Two here.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Yay!  I finally have a decent video of me performing! This is me reading fiction at L Train. The piece is David Sautter's detective story "People Just Disappear", and this took place during the first Fiction, Live! evening which I also emceed. Videography by Jeff Handy.

At The Whisky Girl, a flash fiction by Scott Syx aka cheshirecatgrins, read by Russil Tamsen. 4:21 mins. Original text here. 

An unlikely romantic encounter between a pair of drinkers starts at a noisy night club. The two grapple cautiously on the perilous road to intimacy - their respective emotional baggages casting long shadows along the way...

This piece said noir to me (although updated). So I said noir back! 

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!