They’re Soulmates But One Of Them Is Infact Trying To Choke The Other To Death With The Red String

mind if I come over and behave somewhat like a scared animal before I adjust

notice how linkedin isn’t on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

ive noticed a trend of a lot of my problems being traced to me but lets not imply causation here folks

it's your right as a pedestrian to cross the street whenever you feel like it

sorry for bitching and whining. unfortunately i have to or else ill start killing and eating people instead

Don't you worry about my pronouns. My pronouns are pretty standard. Worry about my adverbs. My most frequent ones are "omniously", "haphazardly" and "obliviously".

she let me hit because i say things like “okie dokie”

it is what it is. and I don't know what it is

sorry I was looking at my own boobs what were you saying