My Mom Is So Good At Making Things About Herself She's Clearly Where I Got It From

YOU WERE LITERALLY ONLINE WHY DIDNT YOU REPLY TO MY MESSAGES JUST YESTERDAY YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT

i had a WHOLE conversation centered almost ENTIRELY on the person i was talking to. i'm SUCH a good friend, he's lucky to have me

just remembered that i'm a real person with an actual body. why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why

i'm feeling so...normal? maybe everything before this was just fake

it was not on wheat...

not talking to me for more than 2 days counts as abandoning me btw

when they don't reply to my messages so now i'm left wondering what i've done wrong

meetcute where someone slips a note that says "i've been watching you" into one of my school books but i can't decipher whether it's in a cutesy "i've seen you around, you're pretty" way or in a "i stalk you on your way back home, you're pretty" way

madoka magica is sooo crazy imagine being in middle school and your crush dies and you’re so upset that you kickstart a time loop and repeat the same month 100 times over trying to stop her from dying but unwittingly you make her more and more important to the universe’s continuation (because you have effectively created 100 timelines that are dependent only on the survival of your crush) and therefore her death becomes more and more devastating to the world as a whole in every new timeline and finally your crush sacrifices her life willingly to become a god and you’re the only one who remembers her and this depresses you so much that you construct a whole imaginary universe where your crush is alive and you trap yourself and the souls of your friends inside it and then when you realize it’s Not Real, Actually, you pull your crush (who, again, is now god) down from heaven and become the literal actual devil

speaking of alexander hamilton, i fucking HATE HIM. i hope he rots in his grave and i hope i get the privilege of spitting on it one day