Coulson: This Is What We Were Fighting For.

alright let's talk about Apple and Tumblr's current predicament. If you don't know already, I used to work at Tumblr as an iOS engineer. Though I keep in touch with current staff at Tumblr (what little that are left that I know) I do not have picture of what's going on internally. The banned word list is absolutely perplexing and I can only theorize why tags like 'long post' are banned from appearing on iOS. What I can do is give you a peek into how the Apple App Store review process works, so you have an idea of the hell that Tumblr staff is dealing with right now.

Let me be clear about this from the get-go: I think Apple's censorship policies are wrong and they have no grounds to be policing adult content within apps on the app store. Apple's power to set content policy over apps is absolutely fueled first and foremost by internal policy that goes back to Steve Jobs. After that, they're beholden to payment processors wanting to distance themselves from porn. Finally, there's lawmakers and policy that influence them as well. I think these are the 3 things that shape their policy decisions, in order.

What happens when you submit an App to the App Store?

You compile an app and submit it to the app store, and it proceeds through an automated and manual process to review your app to ensure it meets Apple's standards. Apple's standards are 1) non-malicious, functioning programs, and 2) programs that adhere to the App Store's review guidelines that cannot be asserted in the same way a program can. These guidelines are judged by a human being assigned to your app during the review process. The review process used to be long, sometimes it would take weeks, but in recent years they've got it down to about 24 hours.

Now, there's a laundry list of things in those guidelines, but we're going to focus on adult content because that's the most relevant. If a reviewer runs your app and finds porn, your app is rejected and you're told to correct the problem.

What's Tumblr dealing with now?

In the case of Tumblr, this would be a reviewer going to search, typing in something like 'tits' and finding porn. Sometimes they would search something more innocuous like 'socks' (yeah, i know) and find porn. Sometimes they would search something completely innocent and find porn anyways. Tumblr would get rejected.

This happened regularly. I'd say once every 5 updates (every time Tumblr updates the iOS app, they have to re-submit the app for review). A reviewer would find porn, and respond by sending us the steps they followed to find it and a screenshot of the content. Tumblr staff would remove the porn, resubmit, the reviewer would find nothing, then approve the app. Once in a while Tumblr would get a really persistent reviewer. It would take a handful of porn scrubs and re-submissions before they'd finally green-light an update.

Sometimes, however, Tumblr would get a reviewer who flags tumblr for porn, and when Tumblr opened the rejection notice, the screenshot would be something completely not porn. I'm talking stuff like a woman in a bikini. Not even posing in a porny way. Something you'd see in like, a laser hair removal ad. In these cases, Tumblr would appeal the rejection, saying the content doesn't violate our policies (and to the best of our knowledge, Apple's) so we won't remove it.

In this case, the appeal gets bumped up to a developer support contact that would manage the appeal. Usually when it got there, the contact would look at the report and say "oh, yeah, that's not porn" and tell us to re-submit the app again. It then would usually be approved.

This process, I believe, is where the problem lies. Of course, the bigger picture is Apple's adult content policies, but the relationship between reviewer, developer support, and policymakers is completely fucking discordant. Since the review process is human, some reviewers interpret the guidelines more strict that others. Since the review process chooses a random reviewer, the review experience is random every time.

The developer support contact is not in direct contact with the reviewer and does not communicate with them in any way, other than the report they receive from the review (that Tumblr has too). The dev support contact also cannot tell Tumblr whether they'll pass review if they were to propose hypothetical changes to Tumblr.

Here's the kicker: your developer support contact will also, like the reviewer, not be consistent from case to case. They stick with you until your appeal is complete, but when you have to open a new case for a subsequent rejection, it's someone new. And every one of them had different answers to the same questions about policies regarding adult content.

I really don't think the people enforcing Apple's app store guidelines have a clear answer on what's porn and what's not, and they're left to decide on a case-by case basis. Apple is fucking massive, and it's a waterfall organization where orders come from the top down. If Tumblr gets rejected because a reviewer decided a woman in a bikini is pornographic, no one in Apple gives a shit. I bet no more than a handful of people in Apple right now are even aware of the situation with Tumblr, and just one person (the dev support contact) is deciding what Tumblr must do to resolve it and stay on the App store.

The 2018 porn ban

I was present for the 2018 app store fiasco and boy, it was mind boggling. The removal was legit since Apple had received a user-submitted report of CSAM, and by policy they immediately yank an app that contains such content. That was 100% understandable, and if I were in Apple's shoes, I too would remove an app that has CSAM in it. But what followed was a gauntlet of rigorous reviews over adult content in general. The app was rejected repeatedly until the infamous adult content ban was fully enacted.

While Tumblr was actively working on the ban, they were asking Apple for any sort of guidance on what would meet approval, because as you know it's impossible to scrub a UGC site of adult content. The answers we got were either vague or unhelpful. Tumblr had to just keep re-submitting over and over with a half-baked porn finding algorithm until it finally looked clean enough for Apple.

During this time, we'd be searching Twitter, Instagram, etc, for the same search terms that we were being rejected for, and finding lots and lots of porn. When the rep was asked if other apps went through the same rigamarole that Tumblr was going through, and why they had porn on their apps, the answers we got were "we can't discuss other apps" (of course) and "that shouldn't happen".

Now, I do not want to get conspiratorial about this because I genuinely don't think Apple has it out for Tumblr. What I do think is it's a combination of the discordant enforcement of policy, caused by the complete separation of policymaker, support, and reviewer. It's also less of a problem for other apps like Twitter, Instagram, etc because they have many, many more staff to deal with the problem. They have more staff to build and maintain porn-removing algorithms, and more staff to put out fires caused by App Store rejections.

A little part of me also wants to be cynical and say that since Instagram and Twitter are so big, they can get away with more than Tumblr can. Combine that with Tumblr's history of blatantly allowing porn up until the end of 2018. I can't prove it, of course, but if Tumblr has a reputation at Apple, it can't be a good one.

Apple's reputation amongst developers

As I mentioned I'm an iOS engineer. I talk to other iOS engineers all the time, not only at my current job but also in other places like Slack instances for iOS development. The iOS engineers at Tumblr did not like Apple's bullshit one bit, which is unsurprising. However, my experience thus far is the vast, vast majority of iOS engineers at other places feel the same way. Apple's review process is seen as an asinine hurdle you must clear. Their policies are not viewed in good light amongst iOS devs, though you'll have a mixed bag of sympathy over being rejected for some of them like the adult content one. It really depends if you've worked on any UGC apps on the app store. If you have, you get it.

Outside of adult content, though, the two other big ones that rub iOS devs the wrong way are the 30% cut Apple gets when devs get paid, and the completely arbitrary policy that Apps submitted to the app store must have a "clear purpose". I haven't talked to a single iOS dev who's been on the side of Apple in the Epic v Apple case over the 30% cut, and most of them are hoping for Apple to loosen up their control over the App Store (either voluntarily or by court order). The "clear purpose" policy means that reviewers can reject the app if they think it's useless, which is incredibly discouraging for new developers who are just trying to get out there with something simple. It also squelches creativity and reduces the field for more single-purpose apps.

Aside from App Store review guidelines, iOS developers also have to deal with ever-shifting technical guidelines that can be unclear, with deadlines that change or are vague as well. A good example of this was a recent change that required all Apps that were available on iPad to support split-screen multitasking. Not only did I get conflicting answers on what that means from Apple themselves and devs who were in contact with other Apple reps. No one knew if their iPad app would be yanked from the store, or if there was a way to opt out. This requirement forced many companies to scramble to update their iPad experience to meet this deadline, only for the requirement to be relaxed, and the deadline to be pushed back. Fun times, great use of dev hours.

The Apple fanboy you can picture when I say "Apple fanboy" is very unlikely to be an iOS developer. They probably just love Apple products and think that the company can do no wrong. The more Apple does to piss off their developers, the worse it's going to get for anyone who just wants to use an iPhone.

Anywho, that's Apple for you. Why am I still an iOS developer? I dunno, I got bills to pay. I think I know what Tumblr is working on to appease them. Don't expect this banned word list to last too long. The timing is awful, of course, since everyone on Apple is on vacation, and Tumblr is too. Have fun with the chaos for now. As always, don't take it out on staff. They're doing what they can.

My asks are open if you have any questions. I'll try to answer them.

all my love, seokmin

Tianqiu and Nantianmen

I think everyone probably already noticed this, but there's a fairly obvious thread being laid down about a future boss/event in the Nantianmen area.

tl;dr since this got long:

There is a dragon sealed in the tree in Nantianmen.

It is connected to geovishaps and possibly Azhdaha in Tiangqiu Valley. There may be two separate but connected beings involved.

It(/they) will awaken soon. (Future event!!)

Now, for the details below!

Let's start with the tree:

At the foot of this Moonlit Tree is a stone tablet:

And also a creepy little girl named Jiu:

The games very sure you are aware of her via the quest "The Secret of Nantianmen" which consists of purely going to this tree, talking to her, and fighting two geovishap hatchlings.

Her dialogue (with some minor lines removed):

"The awakening is coming... and with it, the storm..."

Jiu: You're a little early... Are you here to witness the resurrection of the most ancient, most awe-inspiring individual in Liyue's history?

[about Rex Lapis] Jiu: Hah... That usurper?

Jiu: Humans... They care only about history since the dawn of the age of mankind...

Jiu: Are people really happy to just draw a line under the litany of atrocities humanity's ancestors are responsible for, call it "ye olde worlde," and just get on with their merry little lives?

Jiu: Well, I hope that anyone who willfully indulges in this fantasy world of false prosperity will be consumed by it, and thus get what they deserve.

Jiu: The adepti thought to suppress it with trees. Hah! Fools! Little did they know that after thousands of years... the trees that hold the beast shall surely become one with the beast...

Jiu: And lo, it shall stretch wide its arms, and unfurl its body, and reach out with its roots... And the ley lines of the world shall heed its call.

Jiu: Then, once the beast has quenched its great thirst for that energy which only the ley lines can provide...

Jiu: I imagine any significance we presume to have in this world will vanish for good. Wouldn't you agree?

(Worth noting: Jiu refers to a "He" in a reverent manner during The Secret of Nantianmen, but talks about "it" "the beast" instead dring her normal dialogue. These may be separate things.)

Whatever is sealed in Nantianmen is also mentioned in the description of The Unforged, a claymore that ran along side Vortex Vanquisher. (The theme presumably being "past enemies of Rex Lapis that he only sealed instead of killing properly.")

A long time ago, a dragon there was to be found in Liyue. But it was not a dragon that soared through the skies, but one whose abode was the mountains. Indeed, this ancient dragon of stone was as large as the very mountains it called home.

The legends say that it slumbered in Nantianmen, seeming not at all unlike the surrounding hills.

Then, Rex Lapis came before the dragon, seeking to stop the earth's quailing. They say that for a long while, the land knew peace, and that Rex Lapis gained another comrade by his side.

But in the end, the union of dragons, gods and men was perhaps not to be... The dragon was sealed in the bowels of the earth, and fearing the burning ire of the gods and the adepti, that great vishap, that had once caused rock and stone to tremble, fled into the roots of the mountains.

But over the passage of millennia, the dragon would stir once again...

The legends hold that those who triumphed over the dragon stabbed this sword into the giant tree that subdued the ancient dragon. As one of the seals, monsters and malevolent mortals would be unable to touch it. Indeed, if the legends are true, only those with hearts as pure as clear mirrors could even come near it. Yet, if those legends are true, how did this sword come to be lost?

Nantianmen, check. Sealed in a tree, check.

You can see, this is all connected to geovishaps in some way, and their lore ALSO talks about then returning after a long time. Two hatchlings spawn when talking to Jiu causes an earthquake, The Unforged talks about "that great vishap," the Primo Geovishap's boss area is right near Nantianmen...

Here is the Primo Geovishap description:

After many years, the awesomely powerful Ancient Geovishaps grow accustomed to changes in their elemental environment.

Folktales hold that after the great draconic calamity that led to the ruination of Tianqiu Valley, the overlord of the Geovishaps and Primo Geovishaps was imprisoned deep beneath the earth, and so too did they burrow into deep and unseen places, awaiting their chance to rise once more...

(Note again that the vague language here and in The Unforged makes it entirely possible that the "draconic calamity"/"the dragon" sealed in the tree and the "overlord of the vishaps" are two separate beings.)

But here we get to the next point: Tianqiu Valley. And with Tianqiu Valley, there is an important name: Azhdaha.

One of the associated wiki pages suggests that the dragon in Nantianmen might be the Chi. But I don't think that's likely, given how far away Qingce is and that we do find what is probably the Chi's heart in a cave near the village there. Far more likely is Azhdaha.

Now, Azhdaha is mentioned in two pieces of lore. One is a tablet in Tianqiu Valley, during the "Trails in Tianqiu" quest.

Ancient Tablet: "At Tianqiu Valley the adepti's ancient trail grows cold, I fall down and weep at the ruins I see. Though defeated is mighty Azhdaha of old, there's no restoring this past land of beauty."

(The trail "grows cold" in Tianqiu, so it might have started elsewhere, like Nantianment.)

Something in the valley is very much lingering, based on the notes of the treasure hoarders who tried to solve the puzzles first:

Scratched-Out Treasure Hoarder Notes: "I'm to the point where I'm trying to crack this puzzle in my dreams, or maybe nightmares is more accurate... I saw an old man squatting beside me with a wide grin, urging me to hurry up and solve the puzzle."

Scratched-Out Treasure Hoarder Notes: "Hmm, no... was it an old man or a young girl? ...Ugh, I can't remember."

Old Treasure Hoarder Notes: "And all of the guys who've been in start acting strange once they get out. They insist that the monsters followed them out, but I don't see any monsters."

There is more details about Azhdaha in regard to the "Nameless Treasure" items:

Linlang: I just had a look at this one. These markings are definitely those of Liyue, and you can see inscribed here an anecdote about Azhdaha.

Linlang: They say that Azhdaha was a dragon spawned by a convergence of the spirits of Geo in Liyue, and that even Rex Lapis could not easily subdue it.

Linlang: Rex Lapis thus summoned three adepti to his aid, and together they created a cavernous realm.

Linlang: Rex Lapis then battled the creature, luring it into the cavern, before ordering the adepti to seal the entrance, trapping Azhdaha within.

Linlang: The patterns on the thing you brought seem to describe the three adepti joining hands to create the cavern.

And when you get all three treasures:

Linlang: You... actually managed to put them together? Please, let me see... Indeed, these three patterns, when put together, do tell the story of Azhdaha.

Linlang: This crane must be the adeptus Mountain Shaper, and this deer might be Moon Carver. But this last one...

Linlang: Eh? It seems like this pattern has been... intentionally ground away by someone, to the point where I can't make it out. Who was this third adeptus?

Yes, who was the third adeptus??

Obviously, there is a discrepancy here, saying Azhdaha was sealed in a "cavernous realm," but it's all vague enough that the mechanics can be explained away with more detail. Also, I do feel like there might be two connected beings, once in the tree, one deep underground.

Dumbass Academia: A Concept

Making snarky jokes when someone asks what you plan to do with your major

Ex: “My real life plan is to marry rich and become a wealthy widow at a young age. College is just a pickup scene.” 

Getting used to various mystery stains on all your books/essays/papers 

Is it food? Is it a water stain from reading in the bathtub? Is it tears? Were you annotating the book and some ink blotted up? Who knows? Certainly not you, better read around it. 

Speaking of annotating books: Underlining all the bad words 

This is especially fun if it’s something more “high brow” like a poetry book

Your glasses (if you wear them) are somehow always either dirty or scratched. You can’t see with them off, but you can’t see all that well with them on either. 

You have a book. You want to read the book. It is highly recommended. It’s supposed to be very good. It will allow your mind to grow. It may even have a deep meaning or important historical significance that you really care about absorbing. Alas, neither your brain nor your heart has room for new characters to love or new obsessions to fixate on. You read fanfiction instead. 

Finding a way to justify pretty much anything you like as part of your preferred aesthetics

Ex: “The show Rick and Morty totally counts as dark academia because it heavily involves science and education and also because gay stuff happens in it.”

Ex: “Wearing black lipstick is totally within the realm of cottagecore because there are black flowers and good rich dirt is often black and there are black nights with beautiful shining stars. 

Correcting people about small errors on an impulse and then realizing two days later that they were actually right. 

Writing things in code and posting them randomly online

(If I get to 150 followers on this blog I will be doing that btw)

Posting stuff or saying stuff and pretending that you don’t care about people’s opinions on what you say because you’re in this for you but secretly anytime you get a notification you almost cry because you’re so excited 

Using old beat up notebooks and any pens you can get your hands on because you don’t have the time or money for fancy stationary 

Being a little pretentious and doing things purely For The Aesthetic but then ten minutes later you’re eating mac and cheese and watching cartoons in the bathtub because being elitist is fun but it takes so much time and effort 

Having a lot of mottos but none of them actually really apply to you but you insist that they are in fact what you base your life on anyway. Sometimes they like, half apply? But never all the way

Ex: “Be gay do crime”

Were you a gifted kid who didn’t quite fit in with everyone else in the gifted program’s intellectual strong suits? Or a gifted kid who now feels like you’ve become completely mediocre/average? You fit in

Alternatively were you a student who wasn’t considered one of the “smart” kids and even may have been treated like you were dumb and/or less than other students because you didn’t connect to your schooling “the correct way”? You fit in too

Constantly changing your aesthetic because something else seems cool

You read those “tea or coffee?” things and scoff because who can decide? 

Going feral over abandoned buildings for no reason

Making bad jokes that most other people don’t get because they’re about really niche topics 

Whenever someone asks you about a book you’re reading or what you’re studying you panic and say something nonsensical 

Coming up with or researching conspiracy theories, but more about small local things like why there are never major storms in your town than big conspiracies like the moon landing 

Not that you can’t also be into the big conspiracy theories

Being either ridiculously emotional all the time or being completely devoid of emotions all the time. 

add this to the list of “things svt said that sound like fake subs but arent”

VARRIC!!!!!!!!!!!

if they brought back sousa just to pair him with daisy i would very much prefer them not to bring him back at all. call me crazy peggysous but sousa not being with peggy doesn’t feel right to me and i can’t enjoy his scenes with daisy much (he is still the best man on earth in these) because i don’t see that spark or something that people who started to ship them see.

if they wanted to give daisy relationships in the final season so badly (which is great because she herself wanted some) i would prefer them to bring back robbie. she had great chemistry with him and they were very powerful.

happy eating and drinking junhoe is my religion

fallen stars

I see a lot of dark academia aesthetic involving the classics fields, literature and languages and theater and music, but can the STEM kids get in on this too? Where’s my dark science aesthetic at? where’s my STEM gothic?

•  It has to be a mistake, on the syllabus your professor e-mailed over yesterday. The lab class can’t possibly start at 8pm. Not that you’d notice the time of night anyway, considering that for some reason it’s held in a basement of the STEM buildings that you were sure was closed off. You’ve never seen anyone emerging from its depths, and honestly you’re not even sure how to get down there. But not to worry, your professor assures you when you reply with your concerns. He’ll send his TA to pick you up. Just try not to stare at their hand. Especially if it sparks. They’re still working out the kinks.

• The transparent lightboard you use in your apartment building for working out math equations that require more room is the only illumination piercing your otherwise dim living room. You’ve been working for hours, and haven’t noticed how late it’s become, mostly because you’re pretty sure that you accidentally just determined exactly when the world is going to end. Before you can grab your phone to tell everyone, there’s a knock at your door. “Well done,” the man and woman in dark clothes and glasses that reflect even the minor light so that you can’t see your eyes as they enter your apartment. “A little too well done, we think. You’ll be coming with us now.”

•   H2 = H 2 0 [ Ωm(1+z) 3 +ΩDEexp {3 Z/z 0 dz 1+z [1+w(z)]}

•  “We are doctors,” in heart if not yet in degree,” the neurologist teaching your afternoon class says, laughing. “We are the ones who stand between that looming reaper Death and all of our patients, scalpels and syringes in hand, and say “not today, old friend. Not this one.” But then the mirth fades from his voice, and his gaze drifts to the left of the lecture hall for some odd reason, fixed on some dark corner. “That’s why it hates us, you know. Death. All of us. We as doctors must be very, very careful in our everyday lives, because Death despises us for stalling its work time and time again, and it constantly has its eyes on us. Waiting for us to relax, to look away. There are rituals, as we get older and Death steps closer every day…” but then they come back to themselves, shaking their heads and laughing. “Not enough coffee for me today, apparently!” Shadows in the corner where no one sits seem to be shifting.

•  The chemistry majors always seem to know something that no one else does. They all keep tiny glass bottles of clove oil in their backpacks at all times, for some reason. You’re starting to wonder if it wouldn’t be smart for you to do the same.

•  The engineering majors know exactly what the chem majors think only they know, and they laugh when you mention the clove oil. “They really think that will protect them,” one future robotics pioneer says to you, shaking his head. “They really think they can stop what’s coming.”

•  Something in the forensics lab whispers at night, but only when a lone student is working down there alone. One of them snags you in the halls one morning and says, “I know you’re not forensics and you’ve never heard it before, but last night I was working on a paper down there and, well. It knows your name.”

• Your roommate is a biogenetics student. She keeps beakers brimming with bubbling fluids in the fridge, and she often seems restless and distracted. You’ve caught her stealing hair off of your brush before, and one night as you watch her mixing and stirring and taking notes as she’s hunched over her desk, you realize that a single blinking eyeball is staring back at you from the green fluid surrounding it in her glass tube.

•  The mathematics students have figured out what the chemistry students know, and what the engineering students have known for years. They all look anxious now, walking around campus and constantly looking over their shoulders. One of them suggests to you that maybe you should start stockpiling bottled water. Just in case.

•  An astronomy major comes barreling into one of your classes one dim and dying afternoon, slapping a star chart down onto a desk in front of a newly enlightened mathematics student, sweating and furious. “You weren’t even going to tell us, you bastard?! You were just going to let it happen while we sat around unprepared?!”

•  A week later. You sit up in bed and your roommate is gone. Their things are gone. Campus is still and quiet, the chem and engineering and astronomy and mathematics students having all cleared out save for you. The bio, forensics, and med students are left blinking, dazed. Clearly you’ve all missed something important, but your roommate responds to your text with assurance that it’s fine. You’ll all know soon enough.