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bow🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🛐🛐🛐🛐

“I didn’t realize we’d known each other for so long now…”

More EN kaeya animation! took about a month to finish but its worth it for he…

rating record of ragnarok characters /10, because i can.

DISCLAIMER: i’m only rating the characters based off what the manga & anime has portrayed. i’ve done little to no research on these people themselves, which is why i don’t condone anything immoral that they’ve done. this was written before the release of chapter 73+

a/n: i think i wanna do this for every anime + genshin & val. PLS WATCH IT & LMK IF YOU GUYS LIKE IT. also i dont care abt grammatical and/or punctual errors, this is a shit post

MANGA SPOILER WARNING!!

THOR: first of all, he’s so fucking hot. his smile caught me so off guard tho, i kinda just stood there watching the screen, baffled. not much character to him, he’s just hot. 7/10

LU BU: i’m chinese, i literally feel so happy when i see chinese characters. biased, but definitely a plus. he, just like thor, has little to no character. first character i called hot, is hot, but there are hotter characters. (what, i am not talking abt hermes wdym?) 7/10

HERMES: 10/10. no explanation. my man right there. i literally scream & cream every time i see him. why is he so fine. not a single panel or clip where he looks bad. pls eat me out, sir i beg. i will serve you. ONE CHANCE. JUST ONE?? i’m in love with him. who needs real men or women when hermes.

GOLL: she is SO ANNOYING. her eng & jp voice are both annoying asl. she’s that one character, that exists in mostly every anime, used to explain background info & battle info on other characters. brunhilde is too nice on her. she reminds me of when i first saw yachi (haikyuu) on screen. yachi, too, was annoying. but i grew to love her🫶. 1/10

BRUNHILDE: SHES SO HOT. ATE. SHE ALDNAHDISKZ. yeah, what else is there to say? 8/10

APHRODITE: she truly lives up to her version in the greek mythology. hottest woman/goddess alive. ate. her boobs, i want to squish them & bury my face in them. WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO HOLD THEM? 8/10

ZEUS: idgaf what anyone says, he’s not hot. not even his younger self. he looks like mirio (mha) turned netero (hxh). love his character tho. the eyes scared me at first. he’s hilarious. 5/10

ADAM: my friend, the one who recommended snv to me, told me he’d be more my type. he was, minus the fact that’s he literally butt fucking naked. nice ass cheeks tho. def pretty boy, his wife is hot too. i want her more😋. his line abt fighting for his children made me cry. should’ve won. i say, let hermes be uncleless & fatherless. 7/10

POSEIDON: he was fs the blueprint for adam. anywho, yk hes fine. SOOO FINE. meowing for him. he doesn’t beat hermes tho. nobody beats hermes. well, look wise at least. it was rlly hard choosing who to root for in this fight. that’s a lie, i was always on humanity’s side. sad he died:( 9/10. -1 for being a little, arrogant, narcissistic, egotistical bitch. 8/10

SASAKI KOJIRO: see, zeus coulda been hot like him at that old age. man aged like fine wine. character was a W. hot, determined, good character, funny. what else can you want from a man? 8/10

HERACLES: disappointed. so disappointed. he looked better in the disney ver. this fight was so boring for me. you’re telling me i’m supposed to watch the fight instead of ogling at hot characters? no. character was okay. 6/10

JACK THE RIPPER: massive L. not supporting a murderer. next. 0/10

SHIVA: hot from the beginning. 4 arms? do what you want to me, sir. 3 WIVES? tengen (kny), is that you bro?😭 anywho, he’s cocky, def my type irl LMAO. i wouldn’t let that slide tho.. his wives are hot too😋 8/10

RAIDEN TAMEEMON: i paid very little attention to this fight. don’t remember his backstory too well (i read this fight not even 24 hours ago btw). not that good looking, not ugly either. i liked his character, upset he took 3 of shiva’s arms. why 3? why not 2? he got 1 arm left. 4/10

BUDDHA: THATS MY GOD RIGHT THERE. ate. i’m not religious, and neither are my family, but they are buddhist, so by default, i am too. i personally think buddhism is the best religion, but we’re not gonna get into that. i have very valid reasons btw. love his personality, love his looks. massive W. ofc he fights for humanity. he’s a walking W. 9/10

ZEROFUKU: precious. definition of deserved better. what made me sad, is how he was written during the fight. he’s consistently hitting, with little to no strategy. his backstory is sad, but his battle exp was written poorly. also the random ass monster possessing took me tf out. 7/10

HADES: fine ass mf. he’s so different from how he’s usually portrayed, both look & personality wise. the first W netflix has pulled. he’s hot and responsible? persephone, we can share him babes. also, the relationship between him & poseidon made me SOB. like actually. hurt so bad i made an angst edit. 9/10

QIN SHI HUANG: first off, i don’t do research on my own ethnicity’s history. i didn’t even know who tf lu bu was. my family knew tho. with that aside, PROUD TO BE CHINESE❗️ he’s so fine. SO FINE. the way his character was written, was wonderful. i loved the fight between him & hades. the tension & the lengths they went to try & win. 9/10

BEELZEBUB: his backstory was so tragic. what i didn’t like, was how they rushed his & lilith’s story. like, they kinda randomly said i love you to each other. i’d love to see their adventures tgt. lilith, leave that emo thing, and come be w me. he’s fine too. i rlly like how they introduced him. 8/10

NIKOLA TESLA: i don’t have much of an opinion on him. very chatty, which i don’t actually mind. i guess we’ll have to wait for more chapters to release before i form an opinion on him. 5/10

ODIN: the hair bro. THE HAIR. i keep forgetting he exists, but i’m not his biggest fan. not bad, but i prefer his sons. i do like the theory of him being a traitor. he looks the part. 5/10

LOKI: honestly, i liked him a lot in the beginning, but now, it’s like he’s kinda on the side. cute & hot. thor is the better brother tho. speaking of, how tf are they even brothers? moving on, i like his personality. i like his shocked, mixed w angry, facial expressions more. 7/10

ARES: the hair again. very stylish, i do like it, but it took me out. walking around looking like a school girl. i don’t like how he tries to be a know-it-all w hermes, when he literally relies on him for info. but that’s my man for you. his expressions are SO WELL. 6/10

ADAMAS: i was awfully confused, at first, when there were 3 older brothers to zeus. usually, it’s just hades, poseidon & zeus. not his biggest fan, his character was rushed. 4/10

BONUSES

JESUS: i was very happy to see jesus. i’m not sure why, i just was. why is he the only character, THAT LOOKS LIKE THEMSELVES? 9/10

LU BU SIMP AGENCY: 10/10. i don’t need to say anymore. W cheng gong. love that man.

FORSETI: what a loser. he was so annoying. 2/10

EVE: mother? mommy? whatever. MEOW. 9/10

SASAKI SIMP AGENCY: love them as well. 10/10. walking Ws all around.

i don’t think i’m missing anyone, am i?

Scaramouche kissing headcannons? Pretty please???

combining these two requests because i can fit them well together!

scaramouche kissing headcanons

warnings: fluff, and my horrible attempts at explaining kisses, i feel bad putting him as a warning the entire time but he is a menace

✧ scaramouche,, isn't too fond of physical affection

✧ in his eyes, it's weird that people press their mouths together and 'make out', which literally looks like they are eating each other's face (he watched fatui recruits make out in the hallways, my dude saw some wild stuff)

✧ however, scaramouche is open to learn more about kisses, though you need time and patience to warm him up to the idea

✧ while he likes soft pecks on his cheeks when he isn't in the mood for more affection, he becomes really soft around you (and his cheeks are extremely squishy and you feel like you have to thank the shogun for creating him like this)

✧ cup his cheeks and pepper his face with kisses and he will groan at your display of affection, but never dares to make any argument against you - in fact, if you would stop due to his reaction, he'll glare at you and ask immediately why you stopped

✧ for him, kisses are really intimate. after all, he wouldn't press his mouth onto anyone else mouth other than yours that is, so that's that

✧ i see him as the type of person to grab your hands and press soft kisses onto the back of your hand, your fingertips and any small wound you have from fighting that he could find. he also likes pressing his face into the palm of your hand afterwards, a smug grin on his face when he notices your startled and flustered expression on your face as you try to process what he just did. it's such a simple act to show how much he truly appreciates you and yet you always have the same shocked look on your face.

✧ kisses with scaramouche are not an everyday thing. while he has his five minutes in which he might be more demanding for affection than on other days, he doesn't really want to to kiss you the entire time. if you ever come home to him however and kiss him on the lips unprompted, he'll scoff but won't ever refuse you

✧ despite that, kissing him for real, on his actual lips is somewhat of an experience. you can tell he has never done this before and it bothers him to the point of wanting to reject any sort of affection like this, so that's why you need patience. he'll quickly believe that he is of no use if he is unable to perform any task before him, even if it might be a simple kiss (it's the trauma)

✧ his kisses are slow but demanding, leaving you breathless when he parts from you. his hands usually cup your face in an almost possessive way, his way of making sure you're not actually leaving (which sounds stupid in his head since you're right?? there??). his kisses might be slow and somewhat sensual, something rather unexpected from the balladeer of all people, but he's demanding your entire attention to be directed at him, to only see him in those few seconds and that you wouldn't dare even to think about anyone else

✧ he doesn't really peck your face or suddenly attack you with a barrage of kisses, but rather, when he happens to be in a good mood, he'll kiss your forehead gently and immediately turn away and leave the scene as quickly as possible

✧ in a way he reminds you of how snow is, ice cold to the touch but melts right away when coming in contact with your skin - scaramouche was just like that. with no natural body warmth and nothing to essentially make him human, he struggles with himself in a way you couldn't understand but try and grasp upon his feelings

✧ you know that the only reason he still wants to keep you at an arms length at times is rooted in his own fear of being abandoned, something you'd never dare to speak up about with him. knowing him, he'd get upset if you ever mentioned any hidden insecurity of his

✧ so when he kisses you, a small gentle kiss to the back of your hand, a loving kiss on the lips that only you ever came to receive from him, he was similar to a snowflake melting and warming up. he might be cold to the touch, but his heart must be otherwise, that's what you're certain about

✧ at one point, scaramouche might even become impatient if you forget to kiss him after returning home or if you forget your daily peck on his cheek (something he wants to hate but craves as a part of his routine)

✧ sitting across the room, he might clear his throat multiple times, his arms crossed before his chest as he glares at you expectantly

✧ if you have the audacity to ask him what's wrong he'll scoff, simply asking in a deadpan tone if you didn't forget about something - if you still can't remember, scaramouche won't say it and leave the room just moments later, mumbling something under his breath not even you could understand. his pride doesn't allow him to ask for kisses, and besides, how could you forget? (he's more bothered by the fact that he hated not receiving any kiss that morning as you were in a hurry)

✧ why don't you magically understand what he wants from you? stupid mortal

✧ it's not until weeks later you notice the subtle pattern in his behavior. if you kissed his cheek he wouldn't sit down at the same spot and clear his throat pasisve aggressively, sitting there with his arms crossed and glaring at you

✧ if you ask him about it in a rather amused tone, he'll huff and dismiss you, claiming that 'you're too stupid to even remember your own routine' - you don't press this matter and simply give him a peck on his cheek

✧ my poor boy never received any love, so any form of affection and especially physical affection feels foreign to him, so he needs time to warm up to it. however, in his case it's absolutely worth it - for him as for you, he can show you even further how important you are to him, even if it was just a simple kiss

✧ and being a little shit, he expects the same treatment for him without having to ask for it. after all, you said this is what lovers do, so it should come natural to you, right?

✧ he won't admit that he likes kisses. he will never admit this, but you know better

its just so.. UGH FLUFFY

GENTLE, BABY, GO SLOW // TODOROKI SHOUTO

– summary: being the babysitter of shouto's twin girls is no easy task... only because their dad is too pretty for his own good

– warnings: sfw, f!reader, babysitter!reader, single-dad!shouto, confessions, mentions of alcohol consumption + food, ambiguous biological mother

– a/n: for @nuclevi 's daddy's day out collab. sawry this took me so long, but here it is.. my first ever shouto piece :O i love u parisa!! ty for giving me the opportunity to write for shou <3

– wc: 1.6k

“The girls told me all about the Father’s Day cards they made for you in school,” you say, motioning towards the wrinkled, crayon drawings stuck to the fridge. 

Shouto chuckles, particularly fond of the outline of his neon orange shoes, “They didn’t want me to find them before this morning, so they put them under their pillows and slept on them.”

“Your kids are very dedicated. They get that from you,” you smile as his gaze turns to yours. For as long as you’ve known Todoroki Shouto, it’s never been easy to look him in the eye. His gentle, yet seemingly sharp stare always made your heart flutter, and you never knew what to do with that information. You still don’t, and your eyes shy away from his across the table.

“I think you’re rubbing off on them,” he states casually, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. His left hand swirls the red wine you poured earlier, teasing it up the rim but never spilling over. “You spend a lot of time with them; it’s only natural. Rei spent 10 minutes yesterday meticulously separating her food on her plate before eating dinner last night,” Shouto offers, nodding his head at your own plate in front of you. A pretty blush stains your cheeks at his observation, you didn’t even notice you had that habit. 

You always knew Shouto was keen, ever-aware of the things around him. And though it was simple— your food, for Christ’s sake— a heat filled your body at the fact that he takes note of you. He watches, catalogues. You fiddle with your necklace as you search for something to say, but before any words can leave your mouth, Shouto chimes in again. “Yumi started doing that, too,” he says, and you notice the corners of his mouth are upturned ever so slightly.

“I’m glad you’re getting along with them so well,” he admits, suddenly standing to clear the table. As he takes your plates to the kitchen sink, you stand to follow him. “It’s taken a while to find someone who suits the twins,” he continues, stacking the dishes in the sink for later, walking over to lean against your side of the counter. “I haven’t figured out what it is just yet, but there’s something about you that makes you fit into my home.” My life, Shouto thinks, but he leaves that part out. 

God, since when did he talk so much? You shouldn’t have poured that wine— for either of you, because for as talkative as Shouto seems to be tonight, you can’t help but find yourself tongue-tied. His heady cologne swirls around you, and his thick forearms holding his weight against marble countertops leaves you swaying where you stand. “W-well, I’m just doing my job,” you stutter, “Your daughters are so sweet. It’d be hard not to love them.” 

He smiles at that, forever fond of his kids. “I’m not so sure,” he says, shifting his weight to shuffle closer to you, cornering you into the space between the cabinet and the fridge. “You treat this arrangement like more than just a job most days. How would you explain making a candle-lit dinner for me tonight, hmm?”

“It’s Father’s Day, y’know? And you’ve been getting home later and later the past two weeks,” you admit, bashfully scratching at the back of your neck, “I thought I’d do something nice for you.”

Shouto tilts his head at your response, letting the space between you shrink. “You’re not telling me everything,” he says. He’s straightforward, and he’s got a lightness in his eyes that charms you.

“This seems hardly professional, Todoroki,” you claim, though you both know your efforts are futile. Your shallow breaths and starry eyes tell Shouto everything he needs to know to move forward. He may be a bit dense, but Todoroki Shouto is not an idiot. He sees the way you look at him; the way you stick around a bit longer even after he comes home; the way you leave hot chamomile tea on the counter for when he gets out of the shower; the way you say goodnight to his girls before you finally leave for the night, nevermind they’re already fast asleep.

He sees it all, and he knows what it means for him— to him. “I told you to stop calling me that.”

“That’s besides the point, Shouto.” Your breath catches on his name, and though you’ll choose to ignore it, the man before you takes note (like he does with everything you do). “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” you sigh. “Just— your kids mean a lot to me… and you do, too. I don’t want to throw anything off course just because of some dinner and a bottle of wine.” Pressing your hand against his chest, you reiterate, “Things are good now. Shouldn't we keep it that way?

”So you admit there is a course?”

“What— what course?”

“You said that you don’t want to throw anything off course. So you think there’s a course.”

“You know what I m—“

“If you think there’s a course, then you think there’s some sort of end goal here. But if there isn’t any course, then—“

“Of course there’s a course!” you shout. Shouto raises his brows and a smile twitches upon his lips, his stare urging you to go on. Asshole. His eye contact is making you flighty, so you peel away from him, sighing out deep. “There wasn’t supposed to be a course. They give me a run for my money, but your girls are absolute angels. And so are you. But Rei and Yumi come first. I don’t know much, but I know it hasn’t been long since their mom left; I don’t want to scare them. Or impose myself into their lives where I may not be wanted. That isn’t fair to them.”

“You—” he cuts himself off with a gentle excitement. “Everything you just said… You take them into consideration, you put them above everything else. God, that is why I like you so much. You already understand what I have to keep explaining to so many people: Rei and Yumi are my daughters. There is no separate Todoroki Shouto that you can date and then ignore the fact that I’m a father. That’s why I’m initiating here.”

“Shouto.”

“I’m not saying I want you to be their mother,” he says. “But I know how I feel about you,” with a gentle sigh, Shouto takes a hold of your wrist. “You say you care about us. Well, we care about you too… especially the girls. You don’t hear them go on and on about you when you leave. I thought they were getting too attached in the beginning. But then I noticed I was the one getting pulled in,” he smiles softly. Shouto crowds in, bracketing his arms around you, palms resting beside you on the countertop. “Children are impressionable, afterall.”

His smile is alluring, and you can blame everything on the way it made you dizzy for the next words you spoke. “We can try it,” you shyly admit. “We don’t have to tell anyone… just see how it goes.”

“Would you be okay with that?” Shouto asks, and you can hear the way he holds his breath. There’s a fire behind his eyes, yet he waits patiently, with all the calmness of the ocean. 

“Yeah. Yes, I think so.”

As if the sun finally began to peek from behind the clouds, Todoroki grins. “You think so? Hmm, is there anything I can do to make you sound more confident in that?”

“I have a couple ideas.”

“Enlighten me.”

Your palm grazes his chest, sliding its way up to the back of his neck to play with the short hairs at the base. He’s close, so close your cheeks burn in his proximity, and your skin jumps at the soft contact of his lips brushing yours. “Back to bed,” he says, and his volume startles you out of the soft atmosphere surrounding you. Puzzled, you attempt to peek behind him, but he shakes his head at you. Todoroki doesn’t move as he speaks… it’s unnecessary to get his point across. “I know you’re there,” he huffs with all the bemusement only a parent could hold. “Bed. Now.”

Your answer comes to you as a short gasp and a frantic shh! before two sets of tiny feet scramble back to the twins’ shared bedroom. 

“So nosy,” he mutters, focusing back on you, “I’m sure you know by now that Rei drags her sister into everything.” Todoroki smiles when he hears you laugh, and he hopes to hear it again and again. “Where were we?”

“Oh, I believe you were waiting to be enlightened,” you joke, fingers trailing up and down the back of his neck. 

“I’m still waiting.” Todoroki leans into your space, soft lips brushing yours once more. And you don’t give him the time to sass you anymore, pressing your mouth against his.

It’s soft at first, hesitant. But when Shouto’s shoulders drop and his hand squeezes at your hip, you melt into him. You pull at his neck, pressing closer and harder and all it makes the kiss all that much sweeter. His lips tug up at the corners when you sigh, pleased with your relief at finally getting to kiss him. 

He pulls away first, reveling in the soft flutter of your eyes as they open. “This has been a long time coming, hasn’t it?” Shouto asks.

“I think so,” you whisper, smoothing your palms over his shoulders and down his arms, catching your breath. 

“We need to work on more confident answers from you. C’mere,” he beckons softly, tilting your chin up to capture you once more.

🌀 mha m.list | main m.list

🍯 replies + reblogs appreciated <3

@atsumeii @meowzfordayz @jolynegf @nanamisflowerfield @tojiswhore1 @neon-crucifix @ryuuzaa @satorhime @mycobacteria

Neuv's working 9-5 💙

"watch me retire and learn how to cook" – the genshin boys as househusbands

ft. aether, al-haitham, cyno, wanderer

2k words, fluff, themes of marriage, gn! reader; inspired by that meme asking guys what they would do if they married someone who earns 800k a year

AETHER – whose qualifications are outmatched only by his love

When Aether finally retired from the adventuring life, many have warned him that the domestic life will make him even more of a busybody. Aether can see where they’re coming from now. 

But there’s an overarching peace he feels when all he’s going through recipe books with Paimon and watering the plants in the morning. Sometimes, while you’re out for work and he’s at home, he gets a weird moment where he wonders if this is what it’d feel like if he hadn’t retired and you were at home instead. 

Then he remembers that him running across Teyvat while you had your own career back home was exactly how your relationship worked before he settled down for good.

When he’s out buying groceries, rookie adventurers would recognize him as the retired hero of Teyvat and eagerly ask for advice – to which Aether accidentally gives more advice about cooking and budgeting than on battles or domains.

“If you’re an adventurer on a budget, you might be tempted to run a tab on the diners you visit, like Good Hunter,” Aether says as he compares the ripeness of two tomatoes at the grocery. The rookies surround him with bated breath, awaiting every word of his advice.

“It’s more sustainable to just buy ingredients and cook simple meals in the long run. Also I’m more a fan of butter than oil to fry, but my partner says otherwise. It’s up to you.”

With a wink, he walks away, leaving a group of stunned but curious adventurers behind to fanboy about the hero of Teyvat buying groceries.

Aether is an amazing cook. It’s also how he calms down. Following a recipe, pouring care into every ingredient and step, and the sounds and smells of the kitchen all remind Aether of what home means to him.

Making sure you’re eating healthy is how he cares for people. He won’t be shoving food down your gullet, but should you have trouble with eating well from stress or anything, he’s sweet in a persistent way, slowly encouraging you through every bite and making sure you’re snacking well during all-nighters.

Not to mention that with his Anemo and future Hydro powers combined, he’ll make quick work of cleaning house, if you aren’t living in the Teapot (which is likely anyways, because Aether wants a real house for some stability).

You worried at first that he would feel cooped-up if he just stayed at the house. Thankfully, Aether will never run out of friends to visit or hijinks to jump into; such is his luck, really. A lot of his friends still find it jarring when Aether, renowned warrior and hero, can go on and on about the importance of a clean kitchen and what makes a good rice. He once had a discussion with Tighnari, Noelle, and Thoma on healthy cooking that lasted from night to morning.

“The hero is a kept man,” his companions would sigh with amusement at the lovestruck sparkle in Aether’s eyes whenever he talks about you.

He likes going on outdoorsy trips with you should you have the time: fishing by the lake, hiking the mountains of Jueyun Karst, or camping under the stars while chewing on adventurer food.

There’s nothing quite like coming home every night and seeing Aether and Paimon with handkerchiefs tied over their heads, dusting the room while the smell of dinner permeates the house. It’s like the skies have parted for the sun when he happily exclaims, “You’re back!”

more utc!

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tripped up | 𝕥𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕟𝕒𝕣𝕚

❥ getting high with tighnari. mention of drugs

he gets all touchy and clingy and the heightened sensitivity in the tips of his ears and the base of his tail alone is enough to make him come with the slightest touch from you

hes so needy, so whiny, so delirious in his desire to feel you, he wants to lose his mind to you. mumbling about how he will die if he’s not inside you. as soon as he sinks his heavy cock into you, he just fucks and fucks and fucks cause the pretty shrooms you both took have turned him into a shameless mess. and no matter how many times he comes, he’s still so hard. still full of so much cum that he needs to pump into you.

his body has become so sensitive. every kiss, every bite, every graze of your fingers against his skin sets him aflame. he is so overwhelmed, his body on sensory overload. he feels like he could cry and in fact he does. tears pool in his eyes and his moans border on pornographic as his lithe frame works hard to reach release, his mind collapsing leaving only a primal need to take you. it is like his body is on fire and the only thing that can bring him sweet relief is making you scream his name for all of the forest to hear.

rush job [18+]

chainsaw man | aki hayakawa x f!reader | 1.8k

warnings | explicit smut. quickie. no condom. 18+. minors dni. reader features | smaller than aki, hair at least shoulder length a/n | wrote this in one go, because aki is occupying every space of my mind right now. not sorry about it. more detailed tags on ao3. not beta read or edited sorry! hope you enjoy! read on ao3

With time ticking away, a strict countdown till Aki needs to head back, it doesn’t deter him from taking the time to tease you.

Keep reading

oh this looks so fun holly!!! i would like to participate in rolling the dice please~

2 | genshin impact, zhongli (honestly are you even surprised lmao) | no genre, go crazy ;)

thank you and also congrats on 1k!! here's to many more bc you totally deserve it for all your amazing writing ✨💖🥂🍾💐

thank you so much dear!! ♡

i´m not surprised but still very much elated because i like writing zhongli i should do it more often; after all, i do quite enjoy the manner in which he chooses converse aka i like that he talks in fancy jsjshs

anyway, i hope you have as much fun reading as i had writing; without furtherado, let´s get the ball, or in this case the dice, rolling with...

IN VINO VERITAS

trope: drunken confession [space nr. 2]

pairing: zhongli x gn!reader

genre: crack, fluff

warnings: alcohol consumption

second constellation event masterlist

You overestimated your alcohol tolerance. Or underestimated Zhongli´s. Or both. Probably both.

Much to your delight, the consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor had asked you to accompany him to dinner this evening at ‘Third-Round-Knockout’. Seeing as you had been harbouring feelings for the man for quite some time now, you had been quick to agree.

You were well aware of the restaurant´s rather strong drinks, yet, as you listened to Zhongli´s melodic voice describing scenes from a time long past, your attention lay not with your glass but with the charming geo user right in front of you. Somewhere far back in your mind, a tiny voice wondered how he could know all of these ancient stories in such great detail but the more often your hand moved towards your beverage, the quieter it got.

And that was how you found yourself basically glued to his lips as your cheeks radiated a tingly warmth that slowly spread all throughout your body. Under normal circumstances, you´d stare much less obviously and would at least try to follow his explanations but right now you couldn´t really care.

“(Y/n)?” At the call of your name you merely hummed in reply. “(Y/n), I cannot help but observe a distinctive lack of attentiveness in you tonight. I wonder whether this is due to the lateness of the hour or whether there is something weighing heavy on your mind?”

“Or perhaps,” he studied your glass and then your complexion, bringing a gloved hand up to cup your cheek, “tonight´s beverages are affecting you more than they do affect me. My apologies, I should have been more considerate towards your tolerance when choosing. Please do believe me, it was not my intention to leave you inebriated by the time we part ways, it's just that I usually find myself in the company of those who can never seem to drink enough.”

“No, no, I´m fine! That´s not it!” Zhongli slightly cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow as you hurriedly waved your hands in front of you. “It´s really not the alcohol! It´s actually your fault!”

“Oh?” It was impressive how quickly you went from moving a mile a minute to being completely frozen in place. When Zhongli, however, seemed more amused than offended, you remembered how to breathe again. “Would you please care to enlighten me as to how it is my fault you´re so distracted?”

“It´s because of your stupidly distracting face of course! I mean seriously, how is it fair for someone to be this handsome? Like hello?? Normal people exist, you know,” you grumbled, your head supported by your hand now. Breathing out a heavy sigh, you continued with a dismissive wave of your hand. “You´re always so nice and gentlemanly, too. Like, you´re beautiful and well-mannered and also, like, really smart and that's just not fair. And then every time you talk to me, my heart does that stupid fluttery thing and it´s just ugh– Like, you´re you and I ´m me and I just really don´t know how to tell you that I like you more than a friend.”

For a moment, both of you just stared at each other, Zhongli with his brows drawn in surprise and you with a slightly annoyed pout. Then, realisation struck.

“Oh my archons! It´s– I didn´t–” After not being able to come up with any kind of sentence whatsoever, you buried your face in your hands, the embarrassment heating you up more than any kind of liquor ever could. “Oh Rex Lapis, please let the ground swallow me whole.”

“There will be no need for that.” Zhongli´s deep chuckle made you peek out from between your fingers and seconds later any sort of shield was taken from you as firm hands gently grasped your wrists and pulled your hands down between you two. You almost missed how his thumbs drew deliberately slow circles onto the palms of your hands as you lost yourself in intense pools of molten gold and amber. “I must say, even in a situation such as this, you´re so very precious.”

“Huh?” was a rather intelligent remark on your end.

“You mentioned previously your heart does, may I directly quote you, ‘that stupid fluttery thing’ whenever you talk to me. And although I might have expressed myself a little differently were I in your shoes, I can assure you the sentiment is the very same.” Gifting you a rare smile as he watched your mouth part in an awed ‘o’ shape, he continued. “Without wanting to sound too forward, I would like to invite you to spend the night at my humble residence, mainly because I wish to see you taken care of properly. But I also cannot deny wanting to keep you close now that our feelings lay bare before one another. What say you?”

“That sounds very nice,” you yawned. 

“Then so shall it be.” Draping his long coat over your shoulders, Zhongli held out his hand for you to take as you left the restaurant and began your walk through the tranquillity of Liyue Harbor´s night. “By tomorrow I´d like you to repeat yourself again. I must be sure it is you and not the drink talking. You´ll do that for me, right, dearest?”

You hummed and nodded as you drew the shoulders of his coat more snugly against you, practically melting into the cosy fabric. The man next to you couldn´t help but chuckle at your actions.

“Perhaps,” he mused, “you could also take that chance to tell me more about my… what was it? Ah yes, my ‘stupidly distracting face’, to make use of your phrasing.”

“Only if you promise to stop teasing me about this.”

“Ah, you see, a promise is not unlike a contract. One should not give one´s word when one is not certain to also keep it.”

“Zhongli!”

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