No, because this is so true. I JUST WANT TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP
Name one thing worse than looking up angst and only smut popping up
Percy was questioning everything, with good reason he was in fact 12 years old
Chiron and Mr D: now that you've trained at camp for one (1) week it's time for you to embark on a quest to retrieve Zeus' lightning bolt and stop all out war from breaking out amongst the Gods.
Percy: are you aware that i am twelve years old
Chiron and Mr D: this is your dad's will
Percy: is he aware that i am twelve years old
THE BILL | EASY ACTION: 5calls /resistbot
It would require in person voter registration with birth certificates or passports that match your current name. This would unfairy impact BIPOC voters, plus:
Up to 69 million women whose names changed.
Trans Americans whose names changed.
Disabled Americans with limited mobility.
DV survivors who can't safely access their docs.
Rural Americans who'd have to drive hours.
Immigrant citizens not originally born here.
Working Americans lacking time off to register.
Those who can't afford or don't have passports.
People with executive dysfunction.
Voter suppression always helps Republicans and hurts democracy and THEY KNOW IT - they blocked ammendments aimed at protecting voting rights of eligible citizens. The GOP is afraid of fair elections. Spread the word, make some noise. Let's hold these cowards accountable. And pls take care of yourself π
April 10, 2025 update: this bill passed the House and has the votes to pass in the Senate, IF they vote on it. Ask senators to vote no on cloture ANDthe bill.
face claim: none β‘
request: here !
requested: Could I request a Carlos smau where another driver breaks your heart and heβs there to pick up the pieces and make you whole again? Please and thank you β€οΈ
cw: cheating, bad guy charles, mentions of unwell family members, cursing
a/n: charles and alex i love u guys i promise this is just for the au <3
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
November
π€ charles_leclerc liked by fan, fan, and 78,283 others
f1gossip Trouble in paradise for Charles and Y/N? Charles Leclerc was spotted on a long walk on one of Monaco's more secluded islands with a mysterious brunette and his and Y/N's dog, Leo, this weekend. Sources say the pair were often looking to see if there were cameras around, the two of them giggling as they held hands and played with the puppy. Y/N L/N, Charles girlfriend of 2 years, is currently said to be on a trip home to see family, we wonder if the two have broken up or if Charles is back to his old ways?
fan f1gossip tagging charles is so shady i love it
fan when i catch you charles
fan no bc remember when a fan said they met y/n in her hometown and she was visiting her gran bc she's not doing too good? charles u fuckin suck bro β³ fan wtf really???? oh i hope his tyres stick to the road next race β³ fan kmag you know what you need to do β³ fan we put our hopes and prayers in the paddock terror ππ
fan ok but the girls gorgeous β³ fan THAT'S YOUR TAKEAWAY FROM THIS? β³ fan im just saying damn
fan this is not what i meant when i said i wanted silly season to get more interesting
fan *looks around* wow i'm so surprised... not like charles has a bad rep with women or anything
fan i hope y/ns ok... my heart is hurting for her β³ fan the paddock adore her, charles has got a big storm coming next week
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
liked by kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 25 others
y/npriv my gran is doing so much better (nothing can keep the old girl down), my hometown is still as gorgeous as always and my sister got me a cake :)
kellypiquet my girl :((( i'm so happy your grans ok π€ β³ y/npriv thank u kelly bear π€ β³ kellypiquet did i have to physically hold max back from going after he who shall not be named?? yes... did i consider letting go?? very much so β³ y/npriv ππ hes not voldemort babe π you should have just let him go β³ kellypiquet now is that really how you feel? β³ y/npriv ... no but i wish i did β³ maxverstappen1 she has to go to sleep at some point, then i shall be free β³ y/npriv thats so ominous you strange creature (i appreciate you)
carmenmmundt me and george have been keeping your gran in our prayers angel π©· β³ y/npriv i love you carm π©· β³ georgerussell63 and me? β³ y/npriv i tolerate you :)
flavy.barla esteban nearly joined max β³ y/npriv love him dearly but este's about as intimidating as a teddy bear β³ estebanocon ?? hey??? β³ y/npriv sorry king xo there's a reason your nicknames estie bestie β³ estebanocon let it DIEEEEE β³ y/npriv never π«Ά
schecoperez I am glad your gran is ok, y/n. Let me or Carola know if you need anything x β³ y/npriv thank you checo :( give the little ones and carola a big hug from me x β₯οΈ schecoperez
lilyzneimer he shall d word at my hands β³ y/npriv i fuckin love you lily
lewishamilton he will never know peace next year. β³ lewishamilton i am however happy to hear your gran is well x β³ y/npriv lewis π thank you x
francisca.c.gomes pierre has been shouting at Him on the phone for like an hour... β³ y/npriv π ... what are they saying β³ francisca.c.gomes a lot of french and things i don't want delicate eyes (yuki) to read... β³ y/npriv pierre i appreciate you β³ pierregasly i'm gonna kill him β³ y/npriv ok maybe tone it down frenchie
lilymhe alex is setting his zoo on him β³ y/npriv that's how you know it's serious wow β³ alex_albon tinky's gonna boot him in the head
sebastianvettel i am very glad to hear your gran is ok, y/n, sending her and you all my love x β³ y/npriv thank you seb :( miss you x β³ sebastianvettel come and see us soon! the kids miss you x β³ y/npriv you got it! x
danielricciardo he's a cunt β³ danielricciardo and i don't mean that in a nice aussie way β³ y/npriv DANIEL β³ oscarpiastri no he's right, in the nasty aussie way, he's a cunt β³ y/npriv oscar i did not raise you to talk like this β³ oscarpiastri we are literally like 4 years apart in age... β³ y/npriv kicking a girl when she's down WOW oscar β³ oscarpiastri ... i am sorry mother dearest β³ y/npriv that's better
carlossainz55 hermosa, he may be il predestinato but to me he is carne morta (dead meat) β³ y/npriv carlos π β³ carlossainz55 also i'm glad to know your gran is well, send her my love β³ y/npriv she already fancies you enough as it is β³ carlossainz55 my plan is working :) β³ y/npriv what plan? are you seducing my family members??? hiding my mum as we speak β³ carlossainz55 something like that ;)
yukitsunoda0511 happy to see your gran is ok! and i am sorry about the other thing :((((( β³ y/npriv yuki my angel you have nothing to be sorry about
kevinmagnussen i know what i have to do β³ y/npriv kevin NO you're like 2 points away from a race ban!! β³ kevinmagnussen worth it :) β³ y/npriv nicohulkenburg pls talk some sense into your teammate β³ nicohulkenburg unfortunately y/n i too will be joining kevin in his "defense" β³ y/npriv haas i am so sorry
landonorris i may have done a thing... β³ y/npriv i am terrified... β³ landonorris i'll text you :)
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
πMonaco
π€ landonorris, carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes, kellypiquet, lilymhe, lilynzeimer, flavy.barla, carmenmmundt liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 87,902 others
y/nstagram angel baby, dumb and dumber and my girls π©·
Comments on this post have been limited
carlossainz55 ... am i dumb or dumber β³ y/nstagram do you really want to know? π€¨ β³ carlossainz55 for my own sanity im saying i'm dumb β³ landonorris why am i dumber????? β³ carlossainz55 do you really want to know? π€¨
carmenmmundt don't forget about lunch today xx β³ y/nstagram been looking forward to it since i boarded the plane π«Ά
landonorris you're welcome for the lift and the room btw π β³ y/nstagram my saviour xx β³ landonorris and for stealing leo for you β³ y/nstagram I NEVER ASKED YOU TO STEAL HIM???? π β³ landonorris well i did because i'm an amazing friend and am willing to sacrifice all my bloody furniture β³ y/nstagram you leave the baby alone, he was probably stressed :(
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
FEBRUARY
(estrellita - little star) (uy, quΓ©carechimba - ugh, that dickhead)
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
πShanghai
π€ carlossainz55, landonorris liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 89,028 others
y/nstagram did y'all think i would miss the first race week?? ft dumber and roomie x
fan mother has returned!!!!! β₯οΈ y/nstagram
fan if looks could kill, carlos would be six feet under ... charles was FUMING β³ fan given the way his girly hid when y/n appeared i would say he has no right to be mad at all β³ fan if the girl i cheated on rocked up to my teammates garage whilst i was with my side piece i quite frankly would walk onto the track midrace β³ fan how do we know charles cheated? they've not said anything β³ fan exactly. if they had been broken up surely they would have put out some sort of announcement to clear things up ????
scuderiaferrari always good to see you in red, y/n β€οΈ β³ y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE!!!!!! ππππππ
carlossainz55 i hate this new nickname β³ y/nstagram what else should i call you? β³ carlossainz55 yours β³ fan CARLOS I SAW THAT????????
landonorris i have been demoted from bestie to roomie... this is the thanks i get... β³ y/nstagram thanks roomie xx btw bins go out on tuesday :)
lewishamilton now you're free of your ferrari obligations, you should come across to mercedes next time ;) β³ mercedesamgf1 we would love to see you over here y/n! β³ mclaren um no us next?? β³ alpinef1team no us!!! β³ redbullracing come to the winning team :) β³ scuderiaferrari y/n will always be a ferrari girl, back OFF π€Ίπ€Ίπ€Ί β₯οΈ carlossainz55
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
charles_leclerc added y/nstagram added to their story to their story
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 20 others
y/npriv that bitchass man... idk how he thought he was gonna spin that story but not on my watch
oscarpiastri did you really have to use my meme though? β³ y/npriv yes it was funny and otherwise i was gonna call him a cheating lying bastard on main so π€·π»ββοΈ β³ oscarpiastri understandable, please continue
danielricciardo lando was laughing so hard i think he bust a rib β³ landonorris it still hurts to breathe but holy shit y/n i love u β³ y/npriv love u too stink :) also don't forget to pick up leo's food from the shops β³ landonorris you do know you can text me this stuff? β³ y/npriv yeah but reminding everyone we're roomies is funny to me
maxverstappen1 walked past ferrari hospitality and fred was PISSED β³ y/npriv ππ carlossainz55 can you confirm? β³ carlossainz55 oh, absolutely... i was worried he was going to have a heart attack or something
francisca.c.gomes ok but did he not even think to talk to you first before posting that? it's literally been months β³ y/npriv apparently not π texted him about it and suddenly he was sorry β³ francisca.c.gomes men π β³ pierregasly ???? β³ francisca.c.gomes i stand by what i said β³ y/npriv yeah is there a problem gasly? β³ pierregasly no problem at all ma'am, as you were
scuderiaferrari we had no knowledge charles was going to post that. we love you y/n β³ danielricciardo FERRARI? why are you on y/ns priv? β³ y/npriv me and the social media intern are besties xx
carlossainz55 estrellita, lets go for dinner, you deserve it β³ y/npriv π are you paying? β³ carlossainz55 of course, i am a gentleman β³ y/npriv pick me up in an hour :)
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
liked by fan, fan and 40,718 others
f1gossip Carlos Sainz and Y/N L/N were spotted at dinner last night. The two enjoyed a meal before taking a stroll along the Monaco pier front where, as pictured, the pair were in high spirits. We're happy to see Y/N looking so happy following the revelation that her ex-boyfriend, and Carlos' current F1 teammate, had cheated on her. The two were then joined by Y/N's current roommate and F1 driver, Lando Norris, who then whisked them off to a local nightclub. We continue to send Y/N our support and hope to see more of her happy side.
fan i don't think i've ever seen y/n laugh like that, we love to see it
fan this coupled with the photos of charles and his girly arguing in the paddock π€π€ we know who won the breakup
fan why do i kinda think carlos and y/n would be cute together β³ fan woah, she's only been broken up with charles for a few months and under really shitty circumstances, she needs time to heal β³ fan ofc ofc!!! i just mean when she's over ch*rles, the two would make a really good couple
fan happy y/n and happy carlos, my two favourite things β€οΈ
fan y/ncarlos fans we rise!!! β³ fan he would treat her so right β³ fan the entire time she dated That Man, carlos has always been so nice to her, i wonder if he secretly fancied her all along π β³ fan or maybe he's just a good guy β³ fan that too π€·π»ββοΈ
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
APRIL
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
π Australia
liked by y/nstagram, landonorris and 890,274 others
carlossainz55 swipe across to see me and oomf Another Carlando podium! We know what you guys wanna see and we love to deliver! The car drove like a dream today, shame we couldn't get more points but it's always nice to celebrate a great race with some champagne showers!
See 98,072 other comments
fan WHO TAUGHT CARLOS WHAT OOMF WAS??? β³ fan either lando or y/n 100% π
fan CARLANDO PODIUM!!!!!!!!! WE DREAM OF DAYS LIKE THIS
y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE !!! ππππ congrats winner π₯³ β³ carlossainz55 i think i was right when i said you would be my good luck charm π β₯οΈ y/nstagram β³ fan oh they're so sick for this β³ fan y/ncarlos'ers we're so winning
charles_leclerc congrats β³ fan ik for a fact he was forced to comment
landonorris carlando are back baby!! β³ landonorris also cant believe im either oomf or roomie... β³ y/nstagram stop leaving your smelly socks in the bathroom and maybe i'll change the nickname β³ landonorris oh that was mean
fan "shame we couldn't get more points" carlos you shady shady man
fan who else cheered when kmag pulled through and took * out of the race
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
liked by carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes and 21 others
y/npriv oh we eating good tonight
kellypiquet i'm sure we are π β³ y/npriv KELLY???
landonorris carlos is so sexy β³ y/npriv real β³ landonorris back off my man??? β³ carlossainz55 i'm gonna hold your hand when i say this lando... β³ landonorris WOOOOOOW.... i see how it is carlos
carlossainz55 gorgeous as always β³ y/npriv you can't even see my face in that photo carlos π€£ β³ carlossainz55 don't need to see you to know you're gorgeous β³ maxverstappen1 i hate to say it but that was smooth β³ danielricciardo they don't call him the smooth operator for no reason
scuderiaferrari power (soon to be (fingers crossed)) couple β³ carlossainz55 π β³ y/npriv not from the main acc damn
francisca.c.gomes need you biblically β³ y/npriv come here then babe xx β³ flavy.barla lemme join β³ y/npriv i got two hands babygirl β³ oscarpiastri estebanocon pierregasly you gonna let her snatch both your girls? β³ estebanocon unfortunately there was a clause when they agreed to date us and it was that y/n is wifey, we are simply the Others β³ pierregasly ^^
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe and 25 others
y/npriv decided to put him out of his misery :)
carlossainz55 and who is that sexy man? β³ y/npriv idk but he keeps speaking spanish to me even though he knows i dont understand it π β³ carlossainz55 but do you like it? π β³ y/npriv i think you know i do x
francisca.c.gomes AND YOU DIDNT UPDATE THE GROUPCHAT??????? β³ lilymhe FR!!!! I LITERALLY SAID TELL US AFTER YOU KISS HIM β³ y/npriv SHUT UP RN β³ carlossainz55 no do go on β³ lilymhe what happens in the y/n gf's gc, stays in the y/n gf's gc
carlossainz55 estΓ‘s muy guapa, vuelve a la cama cariΓ±o β€οΈ (you look so pretty, come back to bed sweetheart) β³ maxverstappen1 we have the translate function on ig you horndog β³ y/npriv don't be mad i snatched ur man β³ maxverstappen1 ... he'll never forget the redbull days
landonorris RUE WHEN WAS THIS?????? β³ y/npriv hiiiii lando... um so.... ππ»ββοΈππ»ββοΈππ»ββοΈ β³ landonorris GET BACK HERE U RAT EXPLAIN YOURSELF β³ landonorris carlossainz55 WHAT ARE U DOING WITH MY ROOMIE ???? β³ carlossainz55 i mean i could tell you but instagram does have guidelines β³ landonorris ew ew ew that's so gross i dont even wanna know β³ landonorris happy for you guys or whatever but ew never tell me anything remotely sexual about y/n or i will vom β³ y/npriv lando wtf???? β³ landonorris you're like my annoying sister i'd have to remove my skinsuit if carlos opens his fat mouth β³ carlossainz55 hey? β³ y/npriv you're so fuckin weird ily
danielricciardo HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!!!! β³ carlossainz55 you were right, they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason β³ y/npriv you were literally giggling and kicking your feet after i kissed you β³ carlossainz55 y/n :(((( my reputation :((((((
lilyzneimer wait do was taking the photos? β³ y/npriv ... self timer β³ lilyzneimer down horrifically bad wow
scuderiaferrari OH Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE WON!!!!! β³ y/npriv admin π not u too β³ scuderiaferrari not even sorry i've been WAITING for this one!!!
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
liked by francisca.c.gomes, fan and 30,892 others
f1gossip A surprise twist in the Charles and Y/N drama? Following Sainz's back to back victory in Australia and then Silverstone, Y/N and Carlos shared what looks like a loving kiss. Eagle eyed fans then spotted Charles on camera arguing with a Ferrari employee in the garages following the Y/NCarlos moment. Finally, Carlos was spotted outside where he was soon joined by Y/N, the two leaving the circuit hand in hand. It is noted Charles' new beau was nowhere to be seen.
fan Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE SO WON!!!! β₯οΈ 10,829 others
fan she upgraded wowow
fan charles throwing a hissy fit was so funny i was cackling watching it
fan kika in the likes... what do you know queen? β₯οΈ francisca.c.gomes
user not her being a homie hopper π€’ β³ carlossainz55 can't be a homie hopper if we're not homies :) β³ fan CARLOS????? β³ fan oh he ate them up β³ fan carlos has not been fucking with ch*rles for a WHILE, even before all the drama
fan y/n's face... she looked so happy my heart is so full β€οΈ
fan queen y/n we trust your judgement
fan ik the entire grid is cheering rn
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
π England
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 105,018 others
y/nstagram carlando podium again!!! anything else interesting happen at Silverstone? :)
fan the carlando bears π her boyfriend(?) and bestie π β³ landonorris roomie* β³ y/nstagram you love me shut up
fan she's so unbothered im giggling
francisca.c.gomes the last slide... β³ y/nstagram don't worry baby, he was just dropping me off for our date x β³ carlossainz55 all i am to you is a glorified taxi driver
landonorris couldn't even post a photo of me for my podium... see how it is β³ y/nstagram don't want your ugly mug messing up my feed β³ y/nstagram also grey bin needs to go out on tuesday β³ landonorris you're on bin duty this week? β³ y/nstagram actually i'm gonna be on a boat in spain soooo β³ landonorris i hope y'all break up β³ fan LANDO ? β³ y/nstagram he's joking dw he did the whole "big brother" speech with carlos, was kinda funny knowing carlos would flatten him in 2 seconds flat β³ landonorris oh now i really hope y'all break up
fan y/n please we know you have bf carlos pics... i only ask for one thing β³ y/nstagram i'll post some soon x β³ fan the most unserious soft/hard launch
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
π€ carlossainz55 liked by carlossainz55, lilyzneimer and 98,017 others
y/nstagram my boyfriends so hot, do you guys mind if i chew on him a lil?
carlossainz55 please don't chew me??? β³ y/nstagram it's internet sla- never mind, ok mr sainz
fan her captions are always so real i love her
fan unhinged y/n is back, we missed you best friend β₯οΈ y/nstagram
scuderiaferrari HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH LETS GO Y/NCARLOS'ERS!!!! β³ y/nstagram i love u admin β€οΈ β³ scuderiaferrari our ferrari girl, forever β€οΈ
landonorris i hate this β³ fan your ex and your roomie π β³ landonorris you get it π β³ carlossainz55 stop calling me your ex π β³ landonorris you dare deny the love we shared?
francisca.c.gomes never mind him, can i chew on you a lil? β³ kellypiquet ^ β³ lilymhe ^ β³ lilyzneimer ^ β³ flavy.barla ^ β³ carmenmmundt ^ β³ y/nstagram everyone grab a limb x β³ carlossainz55 please don't chew my girlfriend
fan thank you for the pic y/n! sorry for interrupting your holiday π₯Ί β³ y/nstagram don't be silly!! it was lovely to meet you <333 dont forget to send me the link to the dress!! β³ fan on it!! β³ fan omg how was it meeting them? β³ fan they're honestly so sweet, they were just holding hands and walking around and carlos was yapping away and the way y/n was looking at him π₯Ί they're endgame fr β³ fan could actually cry?? β³ fan also when they were on the beach, carlos twirled her around and they started dancing to the music playing from a nearby bar... it was actually like a movie scene ππ
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
π€ y/nstagram liked by y/nstagram, scuderiaferrari and 505,287 others
carlossainz55 dicen que ver una estrella fugaz da buena suerte, y tenΓan razΓ³n, mi estrellita β€οΈ (they say seeing a shooting star is good luck, and they were right, my little star)
See 198,017 other comments
francisca.c.gomes that first picture... i love my girlfriend β³ carlossainz55 can't even have peace on my own hard launch β³ francisca.c.gomes you snatched y/n from her girlfriends, you will never know peace.
fan he bagged a baddie wowow
fan the caption??? oh hes in LOVE β₯οΈ carlossainz55
y/nstagram π₯Ί carlos..i'm so grateful to have you in my life β€οΈ β³ carlossainz55 i am the one who's grateful β€οΈ
scuderiaferrari heyyy y/n *with rizz* β³ carlossainz55 even my own teams admin wow... β³ scuderiaferrari not my fault your girlfriends hot
user homie hopper β³ carlossainz55 eat glass :) β³ y/nstagram CARLOS β³ scuderiaferrari we love that you're happy but please carlos this is still your official account
lilymhe y/n i could treat you so much better β³ carlossainz55 back off i've waited years for this β³ y/nstagram YEARS??? β³ carlossainz55... ππ»ββοΈππ»ββοΈππ»ββοΈ β³ y/nstagram you're literally sat right next to me ... β³ y/nstagram he just got up and ran away... β³ fan this is so fucking funny sddjsdhdk β³ landonorris danielricciardo what was that about him being a smooth operator? β³ danielricciardo hes also fucking dumb
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
a/n: hope everyone enjoys! i am working hard on part 2 of girlfriend of the enemy so we can have some happy charles <3 also 2-3 posts in one week who AM I? (i'm gonna be busy w work so i'm trying to give u guys some food in case i have to disappear)
Found it loved currently binge reading π βΊοΈ
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary: A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father β Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyerβs.
a/n: Reader is an extremely anxious person. Thatβs the note.
words: 5.6k
You hope Matthew Michael Murdock is a good man.Β
You tried to research him online, but you didn't find anything that could sway you one way or another.
The news articles say he's some sort of local hero - not only for being a lawyer who does a lot of pro-bono work but for saving a man from being hit by a truck when he was a kid. They all give his tragic backstory before praising him and his law partner for helping the underprivileged and going after some big shot corrupt businessman - twice. The comments are mostly from people he's helped, singing about how Nelson and Murdock saved them in their times of crisis.Β
You want to trust them, but you can't.
The news also claimed Hitler was Person of the Year and deserved praise, too, and you know how that turned out. Not that you think a blind lawyer from Hell's Kitchen can be compared to a genocidal leader, but your mental point to yourself still stands.Β
You know nothing about Matthew Murdock except he's blind, he's a lawyer, and his dick changed your life.Β
You doubt he even remembers you - a one-night stand from years ago, before his name even started appearing in the news again, and to be fair, you didn't remember him at first, either. Not until four months later when you went in to get your anxiety medication adjusted and the doctor made you take a routine pregnancy test. Then you remembered the handsome blind lawyer who flirted with you at a friend's holiday party you had gone to. You could remember the silly conversation you had about white elephant, that he had the most charming smile, and he could do things with his tongue that made you moan just thinking about, but you could not remember his name.Β
You had tried to find him, you really did, but your energy and attention was quickly needed elsewhere and the search for your daughter's father lost steam.
Until you saw him on the television while at the local diner, giving an interview with his law partner.Β
That was yesterday and now you are standing outside the door of his firm, trying to work up the courage to go in.Β
There's too many scenarios in your head, all of them bad- he's not going to want anything to do with you and your daughter, which you can deal with, or maybe, just maybe, he'll try to take her away from you. He's a lawyer and you work in billing for a transportation company. There's no doubt who the courts would choose and it wouldn't be you.Β
The thought makes you want to turn and run but you know your daughter deserves the chance to know her father - and he deserves to know she exists. It's his choice, once he knows, if he wants to be in her life or not, not yours.Β
It scares you so much it's not your choice.Β
You scrub at your face, trying to work up the courage to actually open the door in front of you when it does just that.Β
A kind looking woman with strawberry blonde hair is standing in the doorway and you recognize her from the firm's website - Karen Page. She's the third partner in the firm and you didn't really look into her in your hunt for information.Β
She offers you a smile before speaking, "You look like you're debating coming in." You shrug, unsure what to say because that is exactly what you were doing but don't want to admit it. She looks you over without it feeling judgmental before focusing on the manila envelope in your hand. She steps back slightly and gestures for you to come into the office. "You made it this far. Whatever it is, we'll do our best to help you."
The sentiment is so kind and you know she means well, thinking you are a potential client, but it just causes your throat to get even tighter.Β
It has been you and your daughter for so long, is this really the right path to take?Β
You hug your file to your chest and take a hesitant step forward. Then another and another until you are in the office. It's not big or fancy and you didn't expect it to be. There's a little waiting area in front of the reception desk, with another desk shoved against a wall, and on either side of the room, doors leading to what you suspect are the private offices.Β
Karen goes around to the back of the reception desk and picks up a clipboard holding some paperwork and offers it out to you.
You take it and stare down at it, unsure if you would fill it out or not. When you look back up, Karen is still smiling at you and you don't want to come off as a problem, so you take a seat in the waiting area and start filling out the requested information. As you write out your address, it finally occurs to you that you have no idea how to have the conversation you need to have.
Do you ease into it or drop it on him like a bomb? You had only ever thought about finding him and never about what you would say when you did.
You should have taken more time to plan this out. You're such an idiot - you just jumped right into running towards him like you might lose track of him if you took so much as a second to think. You know his name now, who he is, you can take time to get things sorted out properly.
Would it be weird to leave in the middle of filling out paperwork you shouldn't even be bothering with?
Probably not, but you're already here. There is no point in running.Β
This is for your daughter, not you. You have to keep telling yourself that.
You don't fill out the information asking about your 'case'. It honestly makes you panic a bit if you start thinking about it all in a legal sense - you know nothing about law and the man you're meeting with graduated at the top of his class from a top law school. Your hand is shaking as you add your signature to the bottom of the page and date it. Reviewing everything takes just a moment, since there's barely anything written to begin with, and your eyes drift up to the logo at the top of the page.
Nelson, Murdock, and Page.
You trace it with your finger.
Matthew Murdock has to be a good man. This firm helps people and he wouldn't be here if he didn't want to help people. He graduated top of his class; he could work anywhere he wanted to. The papers said he is good, too - they win most of their cases.Β
Unless it's all a weird front to hide something like money laundering.Β
But if they were money launders wouldn't they have enough money to afford an air conditioner?Β
"All done?"Β
Karen is in front of you, smiling politely. You are surprised by her appearance, but you don't feel pressured. It's like she's checking in so that she can break you out of your thoughts and you appreciate that. You nod and hand her the clipboard. She takes it, giving it a once over.
"Foggy will be out in just a minute."
Your head jerks up at that.
"No, I need to see Mr. Murdock."
You can tell Karen is surprised by that and her eyes narrow just a fraction. She searches your face, then she looks towards the door on the left.Β
You turn your head to follow her gaze.Β
"Matt!" Karen calls out.
A few moments pass before the door opens and you feel like you're going to throw up.Β
The cameras don't do him justice.Β
Matthew Murdock is gorgeous. He was handsome before and somehow, he just got hotter. He's a little taller than you, still as lean as you remember, and looking crisp in a gray suit - like some model walked off the catwalk and into a sweltering office. His hair is shorter than you remember it being. You have the distinct memory of being able to grab onto it, but it's too cropped to do that now.
But the thing that catches your attention the most is that in person and in the light, you can see Matthew's hair has an auburn tint to it.
Just like Minnie's.Β
The realization shakes your entire world.Β
This man is the father of your child. He's real. He's no longer a concept of a person, who you knew nothing about, who just existed somewhere in the world.Β
You have to look away before you start to cry. You don't know where this surge of emotion is coming from - it feels like this wave of relief. This question you have always had finally has an answer.Β
You tell yourself to take a breath, you know getting overly emotional isn't going to help anything. It might actually make things worse and spiraling into a meltdown is not a good first impression.
You can see Karen in your peripheral vision, and you look up to her, trying to regain your focus.
It's Matthew who speaks first, "Yes, Karen?"
"We have a walk-in who is hoping she can speak with you."Β
You introduce yourself, standing up as you do. You know he is blind, so you don't offer your hand. Instead you clutch your folder to your chest.Β
He doesn't seem to remember your name. He turns towards you and gives a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Matthew Murdock, but you seem to know that. I have some time right now, please come in. Karen, can you grab us some water before you join us?"
"Yeah, sure," Karen says as she turns to do just that.Β
Your throat gets tight again.Β
You don't want to have this conversation with someone else there. It's already going to be hard enough. You'll definitely start crying if Karen is in the room. You cannot deal with two people's reactions. The mere thought of you having to do that is making you sweat.Β
Matthew's voice breaks you out of your panic. "If that is okay?"
You rush out your response, "I would prefer to speak alone, please." You're too panicked to feel embarrassment.Β
Karen doesn't seem phased by this. She is still grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and offering one out to you. You take it.Β
"Not a problem, let me know if you need anything."
"Thanks, Kare. Please, come this way," Matthew motions for you to follow him into the office.Β
This is it.
Once you go through that door, you aren't leaving that room without telling Matthew Murdock he is a father.Β
You surprise yourself by not hesitating and just charging forward into the office.Β
This isn't about you or your fears.Β
This is for Minnie.Β
You keep your gaze forward because you can't bring yourself to look at him. If you stop and look at him before you tell him why you are here, you will just start over analyzing everything once again. You silently beg to whatever gods will listen that everything will be okay, and this man won't destroy you.Β
He doesn't look like he is going to break your heart.Β
But you know that looks mean nothing when it comes to pain.Β
He closes the door behind you with an audible click and the weight of the moment starts to come down on your shoulders.
You take the seat in front of the desk quickly, worried your nerves might catch up with you, placing the water on the ground beside you with your purse when you sit. Matthew doesn't rush, he walks to his desk with an air of quiet confidence and if you were a client, it would be comforting, but you aren't and all it does is remind you why you fell into bed with him.Β
"What brings you in today, Miss..?" He trails off, prompting you to say your name again. As he reaches his desk you watch as he trails his fingers along the edge, using it as a guide, before moving his hand to brush over the back of his seat before sitting in it.Β
You chew your bottom lip, wishing you had taken a second to actually plan what you would say instead of jumping in. As far as you know, there isn't a step-by-step guide on how to tell a one-night stand that he's the father of your child - not that you actually looked into that in your desperate research the night before.Β
Matthew doesn't push as you gather your thoughts. He moves some paperwork away from the center of his desk, then folds his hands there, waiting. You keep your gaze on his hands, needing something to focus your eyes on while you force the truth out.
"I saw your interview last night," you say, deciding to start there, as it seems the most relatable.
Matthew's brows knit together and he tilts his head to the side and you are one again reminded of Minnie. It's a gesture she does often, tilting her little head left and right as she tries to understand something. It always reminded you of a dog and now you wonder if it's not a learned behavior, but genetic.Β
His lips turn down into a frown and his head stays cocked as he asks, "Do you have information about the Lynch case?"
Heat rushes to your cheeks - of course that would be the question to ask after bringing up the interview. The whole piece was about a specific case they were working on and how it would affect Hell's Kitchen and you hadn't paid any attention to what was said - not after you realized who was on the screen.Β
You shake your head, resisting the urge to look away and you curl your fingers tighter around the manila folder in your lap. "No, I'm sorry. I saw you andβ¦recognized you."
He straightens up and his demeanor shifts to something lessβ¦friendly. It's minute but your messed-up brain screams at you about body language - his shoulders have squared up and you can see where he's clenching his back teeth. You quickly continue on, wanting to get through with your explanation before your anxiety makes you clam up.
"We met nearly five years ago," your voice is firm and factual and you're proud of yourself for that, "at a holiday party."Β
The words leave your mouth and you know he knows. Every part of him seems to go still - even his breathing seems to stop. The crease between his brow smoothes out, like he's gone from squinting to wide eyes behind his dark glasses. Your heart is pounding in your ears and your throat is getting stiff, but your voice remains steady as you push the words out.
"I think you are the father of my child."
All the color seems to leave Matthew's face and he looks nearly as gray as his suit. The reaction makes your stomach turn. He looks like he is going to throw up.Β
You bite into your lip, waiting for Matthew to do or say something. All you can do is mentally chant to yourself: he's a good man, he won't take her away.
You know it's probably just seconds, but it feels like hours pass before Matthew moves.
He leans slowly back in his chair, reaching up with one hand to rub at his mouth.Β
"Are you sure?"
He doesn't sound upset, at least to your ears. His words are cautious - tentative - and it makes your heart go tight in your chest. You don't know if it's fear or hope or everything crashing into you at once now that he knows.
You force out a nod before you remember that the man in front of you is blind. You find your voice and words creep out.
"I'm pretty sure," you start. Your eyes drop away from his hands back down to your lap and you have to lick at your lips to wet them before continuing, "I didn't go out much after that party, I got so busy with work. I didn'tβ¦find out until the first trimester was over. By then, I couldn't remember your name. My friends who I went to the party with didn't know you either. I tried to Google you with what information I had, but 'blind lawyer' just got me a lot of disability lawyers." You take a shaky breath, "I understand if you want a paternity test."
You know Matthew is probably taking everything in, but now that you've started talking, it's like you've lifted the dam on your anxiety. You squeeze the file in your lap - just because you hadn't known how you were going to tell Matthew the truth did not mean you hadn't extensively thought about the consequences. Words start to spill out of you.
"I also understand if you don't want anything to do with us, I get it's a big shock. I'm not looking for anything from you." Matthew drops his hand to the desk and if you didn't know better, it would look like he was staring at you. "I just wanted you to know and I thought it would be good for her to know you, but if you don't want that, I get it. All I ask is you fill out some paperwork, medical history mostly so I know if there's anything I need to look out for. I printed it out for you, it's all in braille."Β
You get up just enough so that you can place the manila envelope on the desk, then sit back down. Your throat is getting so tight and stiff you feel like you're struggling to breathe.Β
Matthew runs his hand over his desk until he can feel the envelope. His fingers move along the edge and you stare at them, like they are going to be the one to reveal what Matthew is thinking instead of his mouth. He finds the lip but doesn't open, instead flattening his palm against it.
"...her?"
His voice is so quiet you barely hear it. You lift your head to finally look at him and your heart skips a beat.
Matthew looks so soft. The corners of his lips twitch a few times before a smile slowly spreads across his face.Β
And you know.
You know without a doubt he is your daughter's father. They have the exact same smile. You can't help but to grin as well.Β
This is good, isn't it? He looks Happy.Β
"I have a daughter.."
"Winifred.. Winifred Love," you offer. Matthew lifts his head and tilts it towards you, brow wrinkling slightly.
"Loveβ¦?" He asks, no judgment in his voice, only curiosity.Β
You close your eyes in a bit of embarrassment, as you always do during the story, "I meant to put Grace, but I was out of it. I even put a big heart next to it on the paperwork." You aren't ashamed of the story and you love your daughter's name, but it's always a 'oops I was high' moment, even if it was done with the purest intention.Β
If possible, Matthew's smile gets even bigger.Β
"Winifred Love," he says, his voice dropping back down to the barely there whisper.Β
"She goes by Minnie. Like, um.. Like Minnie Mouse," you say. That gets an amused yet fond chuckle. You find yourself relaxing at the noise - like some of the pressure squeezing on your lungs has been lifted and you can finally breathe.Β
He repeats her nickname and you feel your lips start to turn up.Β
"How old..?" His voice cracks with emotion and Matthew has to clear his throat before continuing, "how old is she?"
"Three and a half," you answer quickly, "her birthday is a few months away." You bite your lip then hesitantly add, "She wants to go to the zoo. It's all she talks about."
"Yeah?" Matthew prompts. His smile is so so soft and it makes your stomach turn in this pleasant way. However, you were expecting him to act, this is not it. In your heart, you think the best you were going for was acceptance, but this seems much more than that. There is a stinging in the corner of your eyes and you have to take your own steadying breath continuing on.
"Yeah, um.. Sheβ¦likes maps right now. I got her a map to the zoo and she's got the whole day planned." Which is very much true - your coffee table has been the home of a makeshift zoo diorama for a little over a week now and the itinerary has changed about twenty times.Β
Β Matthew ducks his head and nods a little, taking all the information in. You squeeze your fingers in your lap, needing a way to release the nerves still buzzing inside you.Β
A few moments pass before Matthew clears his throat again, "What else does she like..?"
The question makes you chuckle just a little bit, only because gushing about your daughter is something you're very good at. Since you work at home, it is just the two of you ninety percent of the time, you don't get to coo over her very often.
"She loves arts and crafts - anything she can get her little hands on. Right now she loves pipe cleaners and paper, things she can bend and fold, you know? I set her next to me while working and she'll just fold paper into little shapes. Not origami or anything, just abstract things, she doesn't plan it. She always wants to help, too, whatever I'm doing. Cooking and cleaning. She is the best helper for grocery shopping." You pause, looking over Matthew's smile for a moment before continuing on, tears starting to gather in your eyes.
Β "She looks just like you," you admit, fondness clear in your voice because it is so so true. Now that you are properly looking at him, Minnie looks just like Matthew, and telling him that makes him light up even more. "You've got the same smile. The same hair. Hers is a little more red, but it's definitely from you."
You watch Matthew lick at his lips and you want to know what is going on in his head. You think everything is going well, even if you are on the verge of crying. They are tears of relief - relief you weren't told to fuck off or to go get your own lawyer. You don't fully know if Matthew Murdock is a good man, but you're over the first hurdle and the prospects are looking good.Β
Matthew leans back into his chair, inhaling deeply, as if centering himself, then asks, "Why now? Why find me now?"
"Like I said, I couldn't find you, I didn't know anything about you, really, except what you looked like and you were a lawyer. I did try, I really did, butβ¦" you trail off with a shrug, "I had a newborn."
Matthew seems to accept that answer - it is the truth after all - and continues on, "But you saw the interview... Last night?"
You nod, "I was picking up some dinner and they were playing the news at the diner. I saw it and looked you up and nowβ¦now you know."
"Now I knowβ¦" Matthew repeats slowly, his smile dropping a little and you wonder if is hitting him in different waves, like it did you - the realization he is a father. You know it is an intense roller coaster and you are not going to try to guide his ride, especially after just kind of dropping it on him.Β
He taps the manila folder in front of him, the crease returning to his brow, "What is this?"
Your cheeks get hot again and you turn your gaze away from him and back to your lap, "Requests for family medical history and information about how to establish paternity, if that's what you want."
"It is," Matthew rushes out. Your head jerks up and his expression looks serious, "I want that. I want to be in her life."
He sounds so sure of himself that it makes your head spin a little. You built up in your mind he either wouldn't want anything to do with you and Minnie or he was going to try to take her away - you hadn't really considered the obvious option that Matthew would just want to be involved. At least, that is what you are hoping he is implying.Β
"I won't abandon my daughter," the conviction in his voice startles you, but it also makes your heart twist but in a good way because in that moment, you believe him. "And I won't abandon you. I used to question if I had the right to bring a child into my life, but this isn't a hypothetical anymoreβ¦. And I can't.." he trails off and leans back into his chair, rubbing at his mouth again. You don't press, you have no right to when you've come out of the blue and changed his entire world. He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I can't step away now that I know she is out there."Β
You quickly shake your head at his words, "You don't need to rush into anything, I mean it, I don't want anything from you but for you to have the chance to know her. We can go slow, she's still little, you know? She can't handle a big change. Start small?"
You're more worried about how he is feeling versus what you are. You have at least prepared yourself to have a reaction - he thought he would be having a normal work day and you've given him a lot to process in the last five minutes.Β
"We can go at your pace, Matthew."
He drops his hand from his face, a smile coming back to his face, "You can call me Matt."
You repeat your preferred name, then apologize, "I'm sorry for coming out of nowhere. I didn't want to lose track of you again, but I could have scheduled an appointment."
Matt shakes his head a little, "No, I get it." His hand goes back to the envelope, like touching it is grounding him like squeezing your fingers is grounding you. "I'm glad you cameβ¦I'm gladβ¦thank you. Thank you for telling me."Β
Part of you wants to reach across the desk and squeeze his hand, to give him comfort and let him know everything will be okay, but you don't dare. He's still a stranger, despite everything. You decide pushing past the emotional to the practical might be the best approach for now. You need to get your anxiety to settle now that you know your world isn't going to end and the best thing for that, in your mind, is getting an action plan.Β
"I don't know what the steps are for doing this," you start, trying to think up ideas as you talk, "but I think maybe we couldβ¦get together again and plan things out? Give you time to adjust to the idea and let you think about how you want to move forward?"
Matt nods along with your words, "That sounds like a good idea."Β
You bend down to grab your phone out of your purse, "I put my contact information in the packet, but could I get yours?"Β
He waits until you are ready, then gives you his personal number then the office number. You do the quick song and dance of calling his phone, so that he has your number and you wait patiently as he adds you as a contact. Hearing the voice commands to navigate a phone is new to you and once he is done putting in your information, you let your curiosity get the better of you.
"Do you prefer texting or phone calls?"
"Phone calls would be preferable," Matt says as he sets his phone on his desk, having held it up to speak clearly into it, "I have text to speech but it's not always the easiest for texting."Β
You nod in understanding, "Got it." You squirm in your seat, unsure of what comes next, so you say the very first thing that comes to mind. "You can call anytime. I work from home so you don't have to worry about interrupting anythingβ¦like I'm doing with you."
He hums, then asks, "What does Minnie do during the day?"Β
"She stays with me, mostly. There's a daycare down the block she goes to if I need someone to watch her. That's where she is now."
That makes Matt frown just slightly and part of you panics that he disapproves. "Is it just the two of you�"
"Yes."Β
You say it with confidence. You've worked hard to get where you are alone and despite all you've been through, you are proud of that. "My parents passed when I was in college and I don't have any siblings. We've managed to do pretty well on our own. It's not the biggest, but we have a little place in Chelsea."
The little frown stays and you don't know what it means - you hope it's over you not having a big support system and not something else. Matt looks like he is going to respond but a knock at the door cuts him off. You jump at the noise, having totally forgotten there were other people in the office.Β
Matt looks slightly annoyed when he calls out, "Yes?"
The door opens and the final partner for the law is there. "Pardon the intrusion," he says to you with a nod before addressing Matt, "They've got that guy from last week at the 15th. He's asking for us specifically."
Matt openly scowls before running a hand over his face, "Okay. Give me a few minutes."
Foggy nods before stepping back out and closing the door.
"I'm sorry," Matt says sheepishly.
You cut him off before he can say more, standing as you do, "Please don't be, I really did just barge in on you at work. I can call you later? Or you can call me?"Β
Matt gets up as well, starting to come around the desk, "I can call you." He hesitates just a second, then ducks his chin, that little smile reappearing and your heart does that funny flip again. "Maybe we can get lunch?"
You smile back, "I would like that. We can start planning." You bite your bottom lip, then add, "I can bring Minnie�"
Matt's entire face lights up and the awkwardness of trying to end your talk evaporates. "I would like that. A lot." He motions to his desk, "I'll work on getting that back to you. I want toβ¦I want to do this right."Β
"I do, too."Β
It feels like a promise. You want to believe Matt - that he wants this and won't disappear at the first minor inconvenience. You've read so many horror stories about bad parents and you don't want any of that for Minnie.Β
You grab your purse and the water Karen gave you, then finally give Matt a proper look over.Β
You enjoyed your night together with him. Not only had he been a phenomenal lover, but he had made you smile and laugh. You weren't nearly as anxious then as you are now, but you had been rather nervous being flirted with by a handsome lawyer and he had made you feel at ease. Bringing him home with you had been an easy choice.Β
He must sense you smiling somehow, maybe you giggled or something, but his smile, which had started to fall, brightens back up.
"Can I ask you something before you go?"Β
You nod to his question, catch yourself and reply, "Of course."
"Can you tell me what she looks like?"
Guilt courses through you and biting your lip turns painful, "I'm so sorry, of course. Um, I included pictures in the packet with descriptions but, of course." His face drops into something a little nervous so you launch into the description of your daughter, emphasizing how they have the same smile because you canβt get over that. You can't help yourself and start describing some of the pictures you included.
"She has this big noise canceling headband so she can sleep comfortably - she doesn't like loud noises - but because she is three, she refuses to wear it unless it's cute. So we crochet little sleeves for it. One of the pictures is her asleep on our couch, face down, because that's how she sleeps, wearing her favorite sleeve. It's Spider-Man the-"
There's a quick series of taps on the door before it opens again.
"Buddy, we gotta go."
You start to apologize, but Matt speaks over you, his voice a little firm as his expression drops, "I'll be right there, Foggy."
A silent conversation seems to go through them, as Foggy raises his eyebrows at Matt and Matt does the same right back. Foggy steps out of the office, closing the door behind him.Β
"Let me walk you out?" Matt asks, motioning to the door.
"Thank you."Β
You let him open the door and you follow him into the reception office. Foggy is looking at his phone whileΒ waiting by Karen's desk as she finishes packing her laptop. You cross the room in silence as Matt leads you from the office. Once you are in the hallway, he speaks to you in a soft voice.
"Can I call you tonight?"
"Yes, please."Β
"Does eight work?"
"That's perfect."Β
"I'll talk to you then."
You force yourself to be the one to turn away and start walking towards the stairs. As you get to them, you pull your bottom lip between your teeth to try to suppress your smile.
Maybe the papers are right and Matthew Murdock is a good man.Β
You really hope he's a good father too.
Today, we get to reblog this
SOMEONE NEEDS TO FIRE THIS MAN!!!!!!!!
i keep sucking at my job but they keep promoting me π
Charles: It's cold outside, so we should hold hands to share body heat and stuff, yeah?
Edwin, blushing: Y-yeah
Niko: It's summer-
Crystal: YOU GUYS ARE GHOSTS. YOU CANT FEEL WEATHER!!
Niko, gasping: Charles! Are you stealing Edwin from me?!
Charles: No, I-
Charles, whispering: I'm trying to flirt with Edwin
Niko: Ohhhhhh have fun :]
Edwin, who has just been standing there awkwardly:
Niko, whispering to Edwin: Charles wants to flirt with you
Edwin, who's ears work well: I know, trust me, I know
yep