All The “harrow’s Three Weed Smoking Girlfriends” Jokes Are Ten Times Funnier When You Remember

i wholeheartedly believe i deserve fangs

heard we're shipping griddlehark?????

"the flight to brazil got turbulence"

'The chain of a kiss'

too many people forgetting blue is a glorious and fearless animal. too many people forgetting blue sargent main character of all time. what if your girl shredded and crocheted her own wardrobe and covered her room in various crafts and wanted to study ecology and needed multiple pins to keep her hair back and worked 1 million odd jobs including teaching penmanship to third graders and agreed to ride in a helicopter with strangers on a first date and kissed a ghost bc she realized she could and slipped her hand into her friends’ hands whenever she felt like it and joined their quest with the same wonder and loyalty as if it were her own and LITERALLY breathed life and energy into the people around her. you would never shut up about her probably

I know Abigail saying Ianthe was "never quite the thing" is probably meant to reference some kind of political beef between them, but I just have this mental image of 14 year old Abigail being handed baby Ianthe at whatever the evil necromancer equivalent of a christening party is and just immediately deciding that this baby's vibes were weird.

hello gideon nav nation we ride at dawn how do we feel abt the alectopause (im putting this on my print shop if anyone’s interested!)

Do u ever think about how Gideon's last words were ,,, WEDDING VOWS. And then do u think about how they're the first thing Harrow says when she finally remembers in htn .... AND THEN do u think about how Gideon/Kiriona acknowledges the fact that yeah they were wedding vows in ntn ... BECAUSE I DO. I FUCKING DO.

Gideon the Ninth, chapter 37.

Harrow the Ninth, chapter 43.

Nona the Ninth, chapter 25.

imagine the picture of dorian gray (1891) but dorian is jude law in wilde (1997) and lord henry is hugh grant in maurice (1987)

the locked tomb x “emergence” by sleep token

this is my audition to join the locked tomb fandom on tumblr…please deliberate and let me know if i’m invited to the collective alectopause brainrot

Sudden brain blast over morning coffee:

John Gaius, necrolord whatever, cringiest man alive, refuses to let the earth die. And not just in the literal sense of locking the earth’s soul in a barbie on ice, in subtler ways too.

The most obvious is the memes, John constantly references memes that are dated even to us, but are in universe from a culture that died ten thousand years ago!

Slightly more subtle is the years. Why does everyone in the Houses measure in earth years? It’s been ten THOUSAND years since anyone lived on the earth! But John keeps them as a unit of measurement.

Even more subtle is the language. In sci-fi and fantasy we’re all used to the idea of the translation for the reader, people don’t speak english in lord of the rings, or dune, but the dialogue is in english for us, the readers. Not in The Locked Tomb. In this series, they ARE speaking english. Modern, bog standard english, to the point where two people born thousands of years apart speak similar enough dialects that one can pose as the other (dulcie/cytheria).

Now, this could possibly fall under that standard sci-fi trope, EXCEPT!!!! In Nona The Ninth, we see the non-house humans! And they speak dozens of languages, like you’d expect after TEN THOUSAND YEARS of linguistic drift!

John is trying SO HARD to keep the earth alive that he’s forced a language to stagnate for, say it with me now, Ten Thousand Years, to the point where even completely new things with no equivalent in our world don’t even have new words, just repurposed old ones (flimsy, sonic).

John Gaius, the first necromancer, could resurrect the planet itself, and millions of people, but he couldn’t resurrect the culture. So, John, cryogenics researcher, tried to put the culture on ice, to keep it as close to the one he remembers as possible. And he still failed.