𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐋, 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐘

In response to the ugly kink-shaming post that’s been going around... Milky-Maid-Library has the genius response.

I refuse to reblog it because the post was shit. It was built with malice and a need to provoke and shame. She was giddy with excitement over the furor she created, which I find pathetic.

What I DID want to share - and I hope this is okay with my sweet milky-maid - is  HER response. This young woman is a survivor of abuse and speaks with a stunning level of intelligence and logic. I read the whole thing with my mouth open. Please read and I hope you find the same feeling of genius and understanding from her that I did.

milky-maid-library

Let’s break down the issues I had with this post 🤷‍♀️ :Warning: mentions of abuse, rape, force and impregnation, abortion, Stockholm syndrome, dark Fanfiction writing, 18+ content. Discourse and argument response, controversial opinions.

“What the hell is wrong with the community?” This is my favourite comment because it really starts us off with the writers opinions in a blunt manner, we can clearly see the distress and discomfort that Dark Fanfictions and related subjects they are feeling. This will come into play later however when using the word ‘Community’.

“I’m scrolling through Tumblr in search for some well-written fic with my favorite characters and all I see is fics that are starting with warnings such as: dark!fic, non-con, degradation, possessive behavior, breeding kink, non-con/rape (like WTF!!!???), forced pregnancy (is that turning people on?!!), daddy kink (ugh), and all the other…you get the idea. And I’m wondering, what the hell happened to people?”

These tags are daunting, that’s an appropriate word, yes. The OP is not aroused by what the outside world would describe as appropriate, normal, and acceptable. However, these are fanfictions that are written, they are made for many reasons; number 1 is usually called ‘shock’ and ‘risk’ factor.

·         Dark!fic -a dark fanficition has been designed so that when we watch a film or read a book and edit a character, we can deglamourize the perfect individual or we can increase the villainy title depending on the location, time and character we are editing.

·         Degradation – degrading, humiliating and insulting a person is actually exhilarating for some couples in consensual sex. it is very popular in the bdsm community.

·         possessive behavior – this falls under the yandere, kidnapper or plain old possessive troupe of an individual, couples who do not trust one another or very very concerned person who provide signs of concern that might be rejected by their partner; the definition of a true unhealthy relationship.

·         breeding kink and forced pregnancy (is that turning people on?!!)– many people have held onto the yee ancient tradition of blood lines, to imagine you are carrying a baby who might change the world, or is the baby of someone who is great and powerful and brings you a supply of stability in life can bring others honour. To be a mother is a honourable thing, and to many mothers or wish to be mothers they can feel prideful knowing their favourite character is going to give them life/a baby. For many as well, a baby can be a sign of ‘claiming’. Like “aaa yes, you are mine and I am yours and with a baby we can be officially forever.” Forced pregnancy is clearly known as rape, unconsentually implanted baby. The factor or risk is what motivates the attraction; of course something that shouldn’t be practised in reality.

·         non-con/rape (like WTF!!!???) this of course is a tricky and of course touchy subject to many. Rape is awful and those who do rape should be charged and justice should be served! BUT I will going into detail why this and many perverse tags should not be demonized when writing fanfiction – key word today is fiction.

·         daddy kink (ugh) Daddy kink and ddlg community is a kink community, it should never be practised without the consent of two adults. This is a tag I will defend until I die and I’m actually not in their community! :D

Exposure therapy is a tool in psychological therapy that targets those who suffer from a deep range of anxiety designed by trauma. The concept is simple but it should not be practised on all victims of abuse or those who suffer with anxiety…exposure therapy is to expose the client/victim to the same source or similar source without the affects to cause real danger.  Source: https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/exposure-therapy Source: APA Div. 12 (Society of Clinical Psychology)

This technique is also shown in many books and movies where a character has to face the thing they fear the most: A very comical example is a scene from Harry Potter: the prisoner of Azkaban; the children line up in front of an enchanted closet where inside is a creature known as a ‘boggart’ and a boggart is a shape shifter but it shape shifts only into peoples fears. A character named Neville was terrified of a teacher at the school, so the boggart turned itself into the intimidating teacher and began marching towards him- Neville with his magic wand transforms the teacher’s clothes into something Neville’s old grandmother would wear, causing Neville and the class to laugh. (Note: this however did not work for our main character Harry Potter until later when he felt he was in a secure and comfortable setting with Professor Lupin.)

The same can be surprisingly said about Dark fanfictions. A real life person can confront their traumas and their past fears by writing or reading through them and be aware at the same time that they are in a safe environment and have the option to close the book, turn off the computer or block the tags that involve the triggering events. It isn’t for everyone, but it is an outlet for others and should not be shamed.

By reading rape stories, it can bring a real-world rape survivor reader to conquer in their self, especially if the character experiencing the abuse claps back on their abuser and gets revenge and on rare cases if their abuser isn’t brought to justice sometimes the abuser with ‘turn good’ which-yes in reality is a big flag- but it brings the reader a sense of peace that they will no longer be hurt.

I highly am oppose those who take written fanfiction with these warnings and practise them, believing it is appropriate behaviour.

For those who have not experienced a shred of assault, they enjoy the dystopia thriller, it is gasp worthy and the blood vessels move. This is a situation of escapism also, they will find the world stressful and when they whip out these sinister words they will have a sense of humbleness that their real life isn’t actually “that bad” and will only focus on one thing in this situation, “getting out alive.” And then there are the cases where we love to read about a good character/reader crumbling.

“Fanfiction used to be about expanding borders of our imagination, about creativity, writing our own stories with the characters we love, it used to be written with care to the smallest details, engaging with multilayered characters and plot. It was about building on the known lore but with the addition of our own take on it. Characters were treated with care and genuine respect. Fanfiction writers cared about their work and source material.”

This is very true until you said “Characters were treated with care and genuine respect.” I don’t believe I have read a fanfiction where a character was treated fairly with care or respect, unless it was a fluffy oneshot. These are characters and we are allowed to hate and love them as much as we want, for good and bad reasons. I’m not going into it but I will off hand mention that the Loki stan community is still fighting on whether he is a good or bad boy.

“Sadly lately more and more I see stuff that is well…pure porn. Which butchers our beloved characters for a sake of some dark fantasy.” ….sis, you know you can block the dark fic, porn, smut tags right?

“I’m sorry, I do get that this is a FANfiction but pains me when writers take e.g. Steve Rogers aka Captain America, aka one the purest and most noble and virtuous characters in pop culture, and turn him into the rapist and sadist. Same story with Dean Winchester, Bucky Barnes, Bruce Wayne, John Wick freaking Peter Parker. Like guys, come on!!  Let’s strip away all that is good and pure and noble about these characters and turn them into abusers.”

(I think someone hasn’t met Nomad Steve) jokes aside I see this argument that these characters that are inherently good are taken and their characters are twisted…but its fanfiction and you even said it yourself fanfiction is about expanding our imaginations and about building onto lore; but many enjoy designing their own lore in fanfiction too and if that means making Captain America into a monster, so be it.

(also: Dean Winchester was a sexy Demon, Bucky Barnes was the sexy winter soldier, Bruce Wayne is a deep voiced rich white boy with a traumatic childhood, John Wick killed almost everyone on screen because he sought money or revenge. Peter Parker is legit the only character who is 100% Pure and noble?… just saying. I don’t usually like Peter Parker fics usually because he’s a child and some writers forget or refuse to reveal his age when they write him as a sex machine; but when they specify, and I’d say infinity war would fuck up a lot of characters mentally even if they came after the blip. Different argument for a different day)

“Why? Is morality not trendy in 2021? Is that what we became?” Sorry but this sounds like someone who watches Abigail Shapiro… idk I swear I heard her say something like that years ago.

“I’m the kind of person who is fascinated by people, truly interested in psychology and sociology and stuff I see lately baffles me.” That is something you should be proud of, but I’m amazed you decided it was okay to shame writers and readers who make and read these outlets? Someone who delves into these subjects surely would understand that everyone processes the world differently and that not all cases are the same but rather in sub-groups and those groups should be respected.

“I’m scrolling through and reading some of the aforementioned fanfiction (research) and I cannot help but wonder what happened to us? When people got so dark and twisted? When did we lose our virtues?”

This is actually a wonderful comment, because it is clear that you have been sheltered from different forms of literature and history. People have always been dark and twisted. Most of history is build on two popular items Ultimate good and Ultimate evil. We look at famous people for their positives and negatives and how these positively or negatively impacted the world, society and history.

When did we lose our virtues? Virtues are surprisingly a social construct. Virtues are behaviour showing high moral standards. Moral standards change all the time, one upon a time women weren’t allowed to wear revealing clothes at the beach, now we wear bikinis happily and freely- once upon a time it was considered a man’s ultimate right to have sex with his wife, now that is called domestic abuse and rape. Morals change over time.

And lets make a note that these fanfictions are not the cause of changing morality, it is people who choose to do things in real life that change morals of real life.  

“Often I see warnings related to lack of consent/rape/forced pregnancy. Is that really turns you on guys? If yes, damn!! you really need to work on your self-esteem!”

Understand that most of these Darkfictions are including the role of power play or differences in power dynamic, this reflects back to exposure therapy. Some readers enjoy a space in which they will feel helpless but they know that they are safe the moment they take their eyes off the page of words.  Self-esteem is determined by the confidence in one owns worth or abilities; self-respect. I find that criticizing what people find attractive in a fictional world and then insulting them by suggesting their own level of real world self-love and respect is not adequate to your standards is unfair, rude and unnecessarily said.

“I know it’s just fanfiction, just a fantasy but often than not fanfiction writers use the pronoun you in their work. You really fantasize about being abused, treated like a piece of shit, like a worthless thing, talk down, forced to do things you don’t want to do, raped, impregnated by force? Really?”

So usually fanfic writers will use the pronouns You or code words like (Y/N)=Your Name. this is to be inclusive to anyone or all to those that read the piece. It also allows the reader to feel more in depth and a part of the story. Some people struggle to feel empathy and therefore by reading it as if they are the character the traumatic effects will be easier to feel and relate. It might sound simply just writing You and (Y/N) but there’s a deeper part to which we can all connect. I don’t remember the source unfortunately but Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins was originally written as You and (Y/N) then it was edited to be Katniss Everdeen in a first person overview of the story.

Do people want to be “abused, treated like a piece of shit, like a worthless thing, talk down, forced to do things you don’t want to do, raped, impregnated by force”? Not in real life of course, but the power dynamic of losing all your power (which is where exposure therapy comes in) is considered thrilling. This is where we look at BDSM which is an overlapping abbrevation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM). BDSM is about consent and yes lots of the darkfictions do not portray consent. I think what is thrilling in BDSM is knowing others can be hurt and pleasured but still be safe; like I keep saying with a dark fic you can look away or block the tag.

“I am a rape victim, it wasn’t a dark alleyway, it was a man who I loved, and let me tell you this sisters, THERE IS NOTHING GLAMOURUSE IN BEING RAPED OR USED BY A MAN WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.”

You are a survivor and we are happy and blessed you survived that terrible event. Whether it was committed by a stranger or the person you love most in the world does not and will not change what happened to you. Rape and Abuse should not be glamourised in the real world.

My argument is most of these darkfics are not glamourising the rape, they glamourise the power of the character and what they have over us ‘helpless’ readers.

Also, very controversial of me…Please don’t use the “I was raped” card as an excuse, it devalues the message you were making; you don’t know what other men and women like me and other writers have experienced. Your “I was raped” card is just as useful as my “I was abused as a child” card which makes no difference to either of our arguments. Whether you are raped or abused does not uplift your status in knowledge or understanding or experience of the situation as all types of rape and abuse are different. Thankyou. However yet again I say that no one and you did not deserves to be raped or hurt in that manner, what happened to you was not okay and I do hope you got justice and are able to find a productive outlet to express your trauma.

“I get that people have different fantasies, I do understand that.” I wont lie, this really annoyed me because you clearly do not understand that others have differences by the nature of your post.

“And it’s not like I’m a prude, I enjoy a bit of kink. But these tags…it’s just shocking.”….Shock and risk factor is what make the fanfiction more enticing to read, it’s as if it’s the whole point…. The knowledge that we will expect taboo at any moment is heart pumping like a horror film.

“In a world where women are loudly fighting for equality of opportunity, equality in the workplace, equality of payment of jobs accessibility here on Tumblr women are subjects of their abusive men.”

This is edging the boundary of counteractive feminism. This message in depth would come off as almost 2nd wave feminism which in this blog we do not accept -> keep moving modern day feminism. But I think I see the heart and passion OP is trying to provide us. My thoughts are however, Men who read these Darkfics and use it as an excuse to rape, abuse or harass like ‘this is what whores want these days.’ Is disgusting and it is the man who is to blame, not the writer! If you cannot tell the difference between the necessity of reality’s consent and darkfic abuse; you need to take off that red hat, wipe the sweat off your face and read about human rights.

“Where is logic in that? In my country, women and men started huge manifestations because our government forbidden by law any type of abortion no matter what…here on Tumblr we write about forced impregnation.” Again, there’s a huge difference between reality and fiction. Also, just remember that some forced pregnancy darkfics highlight the very points on the struggles of women deciding abortion and in addition, how to go about it safely or consider unsafe methods. I think it is a great way to notify and expose us to real life events and how we should promote pro-abortion and support planned parenthood for it’s birth control education.  

“When did we swapped writing about strong female characters, writing to inspire ourselves and our readers for writing about women who are being abused by and subjected to men? Why?”

The fact that you believe abused women are not strong is loud enough I think….Just because she has been abused and broken doesn’t mean she can’t get back on her feet and fight back. I LOVE reading fanfictions where a character suffering from Stockholm syndrome is met back with civilisation and needs to conquer the fears instilled into her and then when she confronts the person who caused her this suffering she is able to walk away knowing she is better and stronger than what they’d tell her.

“Am I the only one who finds this: Better than this:”

1.       those are movies.

2.       The examples you used for your ‘bad’ version are from movies that I believe need to have warnings are the beginning in the starting credits. 365 DNI is as bad as Fifty shades and that is something I’ll stand by until my death too.

3.       The examples you used for your ‘good’ version, are actually not good because: Tony Stark is a womanizer who sleeps with his employee, Steve Trevor and Mr. Darcy are lying manipulators, and- Hans and Leia have a canon confirmed bad relationship which is why they decided to separate. – but despite these red flags, you still want to romanticise them…it is just the same that darkfic writers want to take good characters and give them shit qualities to motivate the main characters story plot.

When you shame a community of writers for what they write, it’ll cause backlash. If you had read some of those fics you could just as easily analysed why they were inappropriate and you probably would’ve gotten brownie points, but the fact you group all writers in the community and then tell them “How dare you write that! This is poor writing, where are the good writers? What has happened to our pure writers?” is so unconstructive, immature and unfair. Writers and the world around them change a lot and so some will adapt to the changes differently.

 I suggest a few things to you so we on tumblr don’t hurt your moral compass further:

·         You can block tags on Tumblr: https://tumblr.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/115015814708-Tag-filtering

·         I suggest Archive Of Our Own and then using the filter tool there too.

·         If you use wattpad, I heard that you can adjust preferences: https://support.wattpad.com/hc/en-us/articles/360039664431-Adjusting-your-Content-Preferences

Love you, Milky-Maid…

#look y’all can hate me but it is what it is

#I just felt this needed to be made apparent

#discourse

#I think she made excellent argument that many fanfics are violent and that can be triggering especially if there’s no warning tags

#put tags in

#put warning tags in

#warning

#tw rape

#tw kidnapping

#tw stockholm syndrome

#tw abuse

#trauma tag

#tw trauma

#disagreement

#debate

Run This Town: Chapter Seven

Summary: In this city: money talks and respect means everything. One wrong move and you could never be heard from again.

The Wooden family are the head of the table. They provide the city with everything they need and have their hands in every politicians wallet. If you’re smart, you’ll watch how you move around their city.

New in town, Lu Xin Lee has his eyes set on becoming a big name. Coming from San Francisco, the name Wooden means nothing to him but he’ll have to learn respect quickly if he wants to be successful and even better, alive.

Army vet, James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes has learned that his country that he fought so hard to “protect” has no intentions of truly repaying him the way he deserves. He finds himself venturing into a new career path that is the opposite of where he once stood.

Y/N Wooden is the heir to the family business. Her mother and father, Nia and Angel, gave her all the tools she’d need to succeed them once they retire from the game for good. Until then, she’s just going to have fun.

Warnings: 18+, alcohol & drug use, cheating, smut, depictions of violence, PTSD, slow burn

Keep reading

a ghost story

This little mf... My ovaries 🌋😂

Survival Myths That Could Do More Harm Than Good.

There was an idea…

The original six as little baby gifs

IT IS VERY REAL!! ALWAYS BE AWARE.

Don’t take them off when you immediately see it. Wait until you get to a different destination bc they’re trying to distract you by getting it off then abducting you. Same thing goes if you find something on your windshield, it’s a distraction so they have time to get you.    

lady of the ghosts [masterlist]

king!bucky x lady!reader

After a great plague ravages your city, you are looking to marry to secure safety for your people. With a war finally ending, the nearby kingdoms are looking to celebrate. King James "Bucky" Barnes decides to continue his family's tradition of hosting a courting season. A medieval courting marvel AU. Warnings: war, torture, blood, violence, death, alcohol, sexism, racism, disease, burning alive, poison, lmk if i've missed anything (this will be updated along with the chapters)

CHAPTERS

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

EXTRAS

map

"Being Wrong"

Series List

Avengers AU

Bucky x Dot, Bucky x reader, Steve x Reader

Summary: Being with him was wrong, he has someone waiting for him. Being wrong felt so good, till it didn't. And when it all goes bad there's someone there to gently pick up the pieces.

Warnings: cheating, smut, NO UNDER 18

**************

Chapters:

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 //

Updated: Aug 12th