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The Hotwife Lifestyle

So you are now one of the millions of women who learned she has a husband with fantasies about you having sex with other men. Welcome to our club. Hopefully you’re past the shock. Maybe you have even reached that point where there is no need for me to tell you how lucky you are. If you’re not then you WILL reach that point if you follow what other wives like me have learned.

If you’re like most of us, you were unaware that your husband had these desires. You were living the married life thinking that you knew your husband better than he knew himself. Ha! Too funny.

Depending on how long you’ve been married, things may or may not have cooled off in the bedroom. Face it. The rut comes to every bedroom. If it hasn’t don’t be lulled into thinking it won’t happen to you. Some of you may have already had affairs or even had thoughts of leaving your husband out of sheer boredom. Then you somehow found out about his secret fantasy, and hopefully decided that there is a solution for the both of you. Lucky you, even if you don’t know it yet.

He wants you to have sex with another man. Wow. Unsure about it? Don’t feel alone. I did too. But take a moment and think about the potential. See all of those other unhappy women out there in boring, sexless marriages? See all those other women around you having affairs, lying to themselves and their husbands, and risking messy divorces? Don’t laugh at them. They were once you, or could have been you. But now you will end up different from them. If you read this and follow it you’re going to find yourself on a road that will return you to sexual fulfillment, feeling as confident as when you were first married, in love with your husband again and appreciating him more than ever.

You are on the way to becoming a Hot Wife.

A Hot Wife is a woman who is free to have sex with others with her husband’s knowledge, approval and encouragement. The level of her husband’s involvement can vary. In fact it will be up to YOU. Some wives play completely on their own, with no interaction with her husband. Others enjoy their husband watching or participating. However, in all these relationships the wife is free to play with others, while the husband remains completely monogamous and faithful only to her.

Sound crazy? Well believe me when I tell you it is easy to do and your sex life will be better than you imagine. In this new relationship the husband is often called a cuckold, which just means a man with a cheating wife. Of course cheating is a misnomer, since the wife’s actions are not hidden from the husband, and he is very aware of her activities. In fact his awareness and approval is one of the most important ingredients. It will turn him on like nothing you’ve ever done before.

I assume you’re reading this because you’ve finally found out about your husband’s desires and you are contemplating the Hot Wife lifestyle. Good for you, but you may want some advice.

First, go slowly. Do not rush it. Having a husband that enjoys this lifestyle is different, so you need to nurture the relationship first and foremost, while moving into the lifestyle slowly. It might take time before you are comfortable having full on sex in front of him, or he may take time to become accustomed to watching or knowing you are out being intimate with other men. What you want to do is encourage his desires for you to be with other men, and make it as pleasurable for him as it is for you.

If you go slowly and follow my advice, in time you will have a husband that will let you do anything sexually. Anything! And he will want you to do more. He will find himself anticipating it as much as you (maybe more than you). He will get his sexual satisfaction from YOUR encounters with other men, and most importantly he will be drawn to you like never before, and more in love with you than at any time in your marriage!

In the Hot Wife lifestyle there are three levels of involvement for your husband:

1. You meet other men alone with no involvement from your husband. He may never know them or meet the other men in your life. You meet them on your own, and make all arrangements without any approval from your husband. The other men may or may not know about your lifestyle, or be aware that your husband knows about them. They may not even know you’re married, if you choose to remove your rings and pretend to be single.

2. You meet other men together with your husband, with him knowing them, and them knowing of him. However any interaction between both men is more on a social or perhaps friendship level. Your husband is not involved in any sexual activities between you and the other man. Your husband could even be the one who finds other men or helps make arrangements for you to meet them (your “dates”). But your husband is not included in your sexual encounters.

3. Having sexual relations with other men in your husband’s presence, or even engaging in some sexual play that involves all three of you. In the classic cuckold arrangement you engage in sexual play with your lover while your husband watches, but he does not play at all.

As an extension of this situation, there can be involvement of the husband in the classic ménage-a-trois arrangement, or traditional three ways. This could involve any degree of sex, which all three agree upon. Some wives prefer their husband be involved sexually and that is your choice. As you will see this will all become about YOUR preferences.

Any of these levels can be appropriate, depending on the couple and what they prefer. It’s important to know where you, and to a lesser extent your husband, wish to take things, so open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries. Just make sure that the “other” man fully understands everything as well. It’s important for him to know upfront where he fits into the couple’s relationship. It’s also important that he respect any boundaries you set out (you set the boundaries, NOT your husband).

With proper techniques, a new Hot Wife can quickly learn how to get the most from her sexual encounters AND help her husband find new levels of pleasure from a more passive role than he is likely to have experienced earlier in your marriage. This takes time though, as most husbands are accustomed to being the spouse in charge.

As you begin, you MUST remember one very important fact. Hot Wife is not just about sex. It’s also about CONTROL. If you are like most women, your husband has been in control so far in your marriage. Right? Well, now you can change that.

Hot Wife is about what YOU want. YOUR sexual pleasure. YOUR sexual control. I know it sounds strange. But once you’ve experienced it you WILL enjoy it immensely! Think YOU not HIM. As selfish as it may sound at first, doing so will turn him on more than anything you’ve ever done yet! The change in you by itself will begin to arouse him.

Now, here’s what to do the first few times. After that, once you’ve got a taste of it (and he’s thirsty for more), you can do as you damn well please. After all, you are the Hot Wife! (You won’t read stuff like this anywhere else.)

Remember rule #1 - The goal is for YOU to be in control of the sex, not him. You do what you want; when you want; and how you want; with whom you want and have him go along with it. Got it?

First, you have to set the groundwork from the beginning. If you do it right, he will be totally faithful and a perfect husband to you, as he learns to get his sexual satisfaction in the lifestyle as a result of YOUR being satisfied. Meanwhile you can have fun with your new freedom and let out the little slut that’s bottled up inside every woman.

DON’T let him decide what kind of sex or how much sex or who you should have sex with. Remember this - NO CHOICE and NO VOICE. He should have no say in whether or not you jack a man off, or if you chose to screw the entire staff of Starbucks. He should have no say in whether you go out to another mans home, or bring a man into your bedroom. He should have no say in when it happens, or whom you choose. Once you allow him to have a say, then you let the control slip back to him. That’s NOT what you want. You want to be the one in control. Trust me, YOU will love it once it happens, and HE will too (even if he doesn’t know why).

When you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact tone. Don’t give him a choice in the matter. Say, “I’m having someone over tomorrow evening and we’re going to spend some time in bed.” Or say, “I’m going out with someone Friday night and I plan to go home with him afterward”. That’s it. You can share as many details as you want (before and after) but don’t let him try to influence you or allow him to shape the event. Be firm. Make it clear that you are making the decision because it’s what you want. Take control of your sexuality and control that aspect of your relationship for that night. Send the message that you’re in charge.

If you want, it’s fine to tell him what’s going to happen before you do it. That is a big part of the excitement for many couples. Share all of the details you wish. But the idea is to show him that you’ve made a decision based on YOUR needs and desires, and his needs are secondary to your needs right now. Show him that you’re a horny woman who’s taken charge of getting yourself satisfied without him. The idea that you will go to another man for your sexual fulfillment will drive him crazy with lust for you (trust me!).

It’s also important to keep him involved every step of the way. Share everything. Depending on your relationship level, you may want to keep him abreast of your discussions with the other man, share details of your plans, etc. It’s important to keep him involved, but as a SPECTATOR and NOT a participant.

This creates a sexually charged experience for him, even before you have ANY sex at all! If you are having thoughts about calling someone to meet this weekend, tell him. Let the suspense and excitement build. It’s a game. Share it with him and it will excite you BOTH.

When the big day arrives to meet a man, be deliberately aloof and distant from your husband the entire day. Give him some tasks to keep him busy, maybe something that helps prepare for your evening. Perhaps send him out to buy a nice bottle of wine, or tidy up around the household.

Many couples enjoy the ritual of the husband helping the wife prepare herself for a date. You can have him help you bathe or shower, and dry you off. Have him put on your panties and stockings. I talk to my husband and tease him, I tell him to get me ready for the other man’s cock, etc.

Doing this lays the groundwork early on. It puts you in charge and creates an atmosphere where he begins to mentally relinquish his rights to you, as part of turning you over to another man. Doing this also reinforces the new power you have. It will also make the sex more intense between the two of you during the next few days, when he takes charge of you again. It’s an important part of the game that has powerful appeal, and helps bond you together.

If you are having a man over, have your husband arrange the areas where you will entertain (living room, bedroom, ect). Dim the lights. Light some candles and put on some quiet music as you wait. If he will be present in the bedroom, have him prepare an area off to the side from where he will watch.

When the man arrives, EVERYTHING should change. Discuss beforehand what your husband’s role will be. Assuming that he remains present, there are certain things you can do to set the tone, and create an unforgettable night for him AND you.

First, have it prearranged for him to sit somewhere out of the way, so that you and your lover can carry on as if your husband is NOT THERE AT ALL (this is VERY important). I usually tell the other man to ignore my husband. After the early pleasantries my husband seldom interacts with us at all. But the excitement of experiencing a new man sexually, while at the same time turning on the man I love, is difficult to explain but incredibly exciting.

When the man arrives at your home, don’t be timid and make small talk for an hour. This is a common mistake. It’s too awkward to prolong things. Everyone knows he’s there for sex. There’s no reason to delay. Since it’s all about sex, look for the first chance to break the ice and get started. This is part of your “take charge” persona that comes with the control you’ve assumed. Show your desire for the other man by initiating intimacy while your husband watches.

If I know him from previous dates I often give a full kiss to my “date” right in the doorway and linger, perhaps even lightly rub his crotch a bit, giving him a chance to return the grope.

Then I walk him into the living room, with my husband either following or already waiting for us. Depending on the man, I sometimes prefer to have an adult video playing on the TV with the volume turned down, and pleasant music playing lightly in the background. With a nice glass of wine this is a sure-fire way to get things going without much delay.

You can linger there if you want, or wildly strip off your clothes and jump on him, or lead him to the bedroom. It’s up to you. You’re the Hot Wife. Some women like to tease their husbands for a while. Others just like to plop down in the doorway and start sucking within seconds. It’s up to you. Do what turns YOU on. YOU are in charge.

My advice is to NOT look at or talk to your husband AT ALL, especially during the first few times he watches. Many women feel a need to talk to their husband for reassurance. But try to resist this.

Don’t glance at him constantly asking if it’s OK. Try to totally PRETEND HE’S NOT THERE. Watching husbands love this. They like to think they are anonymously watching you have a secret sexual affair. They want to see you lost with your lover, while they get a front row seat to the best live porn they will ever experience.

Here’s more advice for the first few times. ENJOY yourself! Put your husband out of your mind. Don’t be shy or act inhibited. Don’t be afraid to moan and scream and cry out with passion. Pay attention to your lover exactly like you would if you were totally alone with him.

Many women feel inhibited and reserved with their husband watching, but this hinders what you want to accomplish. He wants to see you in the throes of wild passion, without a care in the world (least of all worrying about your husband). It may take you some time to do it, but putting him out of your mind should be your goal.

Here’s another tip - treat your lover like you treated your husband WHEN YOU WERE DATING. Ladies, you know what this means. Let your slut come out! Plenty of oral sex. Plenty of fucking. Multiple times if possible. Give him all he wants, until he can’t see straight and you can’t walk straight! When he’s done, continue to pamper him EXACTLY as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door.

After he leaves, you think you’re done and now it’s time for some sleep? Surprise girl! It’s not close to being over yet.

The next step is VERY important if you want to keep doing this. It’s important that your husband support your Hot Wife life, and that he be behind you all the way. So, even if you’re tired, you must immediately turn ALL your attention to your husband. Turn off the distant, sex-starved Hot Wife games you played earlier and become ALL HIS AGAIN!

Let him reclaim you as his own. Reassure him that you’re still his wife and that you love him even MORE for allowing you this night of pleasure! Depending on the couple, you may or may not have sex right away, or even for days after (this is up to you two). He may even have masturbated earlier, while watching you. I know some husbands who just watch without a hard-on but then end up fucking their wives like madmen for days after the date. Each relationship is different. Do what’s right for you two.

But as soon as the other man departs you must be right back in your husband’s arms and become his wife and lover again. Make sure he receives the love and pleasure and release he needs to REINFORCE his desire to watch you do it again.

Over the next few days, reassure him that you love him and care about him, that you’re his wife forever. Most importantly, remind him that you LOVE the fact that he lets enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed that night. Tease him while replaying the night over and over. Tell him you can’t wait to do it again. Tell him how self-assured and unique he is to be able to share you the way he does, and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you.

Chances are you’ll be having great sex with your husband for weeks after he watches, and he will be more attentive and loving than he was before you started these games. That’s just another benefit of the lifestyle. When that happens, you’ll become hooked on the Hot Wife lifestyle, and so will he.

If you do this, the lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever enjoyed together. In time, his most intense sexual pleasure will come from you HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE, as crazy as that might sound. And what could be better for you? You get to take charge of your sex life. You get to explore new sexual horizons most married women never experience. Your husband will love and adore you more than he ever has, and you BOTH stay sexually fulfilled.

There is so much to experience in this lifestyle that you’ll never be bored. If you lay the right groundwork and do it correctly from the beginning, you can have a supportive, open-minded husband and the freedom to do whatever you want with his blessing. To me, there is no better marriage than one that is open and sexually permissive. Without my loving husband involved in my new life, I would probably have long ago been divorced and miserable by now. So get out there and get started.

Terms & Definitions:

Swingers: Typically a couple in which both partners are allowed to engage in sexual activities with other men and women outside of their relationship, often referred to as “full swap.”

Hotwife:  A wife who has her husband’s permission to engage in sexual activities with other men. Also the term used to describe the fantasy with the same scenario. In this relationship all extra marital activities are approved of by the husband. Trust, respect, and the couple’s love for each other are central to the relationship.

Cuckold: A man in a relationship with a woman who engages in sexual activities with other men and women outside of their relationship, usually with a level of cheating and or humiliation. -Cuckolding

Cuckoldress: The female half of a cuckold relationship. A woman who engages in sex with men other than her husband, usually imposing a level humiliation on her husband about her extra marital activities.

Vixen: One term used to describe a woman in a Hotwife relationship.

Stag: One term used to describe a strong male figure in a Hotwife relationship.

Cucky: A humiliating term used to describe a man in a cuckold relationship.

Bull: The name often given to a wife’s repeat lover in a hotwife or cuckold arrangement

Reclaim: A term used to describe the passionate sex couples often experience the first time they have sex after one of them has has sex with someone outside of their relationship.

Hall Pass: Often used to describe a onetime “free pass” given to one of the members in a relationship to enjoy one sexual encounter with a person outside of the relationship.

Half Open Marriage: Used to describe a relationship in which one member of the relationship has the other‘s permission to enjoy complete sexual freedom, while the one remains completely faithful.

Shared Wife: A wife whose husband “shares” her sexually with other men.

MFM: A three some involving two men and one woman. In this arrangement the men are straight and focus on the woman.

MMF: A three some involving two men and one woman in which the men are bi-sexual and engage in sexual activities with each other as well as the woman.

FMF: A three some involving two women and one man. In this arrangement the women are straight and focus on the man.

FFM: A three some involving two women and one man in which the women are bi-sexual and engage in sexual activities with each other as well as the man.

Humiliation: A sexual kink which usually involves the woman verbally abusing the man about his inadequacies and inability to satisfy her, most often because of his penis size or his lack of stamina.  

Tease and Denial: One partner sexually teases and leads the other on, only to get them excited and then deny them sexual gratification.

Edging: Binging a person right to the edge of orgasm and then slowing or stopping sexual activities thus denying them the pleasure of orgasm.

Ruined Orgasm: Bringing a person right to the point of orgasm, and then stopping resulting in a weak orgasm. This is usually achieved through the use of oral sex or masturbation.

SPH: Small Penis Humiliation, verbal abuse used to humiliate a man about his lack of length and or girth.

Male Chastity: A kink in which the man is most often secured in a chastity device, referred to as a cock cage, and is denied the pleasures of sexual intercourse as well as masturbation.  Couples who engage in this kink often try to push the boundaries of how long the man can go without sexual release. This fetish often includes a level of humiliation as well.

Cock Cage: A metal or plastic device which locks to secure the penis. It is used impede the man’s ability to masturbate as well as achieve a full erection without being release by his key holder.

Key Holder: Most often the wife of a man confined to a cock cage. The key holder has full authority over the man’s ability to and the frequency of orgasms allowed. Often the key holder will use time in the cock cage as a punishment for her dissatisfaction with something the man has said or done.

Pegging: Used to describe a fetish in which the female uses a sex toy or strap on to perform anal sex on her male partner.

Wife Breeding: A fetish in which the wife is involved in unprotected sex with men other than her husband. The men ejaculate in the wife, thus presenting the possibility of pregnancy by men other than the husband.

Clean Up: An activity in which the man cleans up a woman after she has had sex with another man. Most often this is done after a lover has ejaculated into the woman’s vagina and the woman’s partner performs oral sex on her licking up as much of the other man’s sperm as possible.

Sloppy Seconds: A term used to describe the act of having sex with a woman after she has already had sex with another man. Most often after the first man has ejaculated inside of the woman’s vagina creating a “sloppy” situation for the second man.

Size Queen: A woman who prefers man with very large penises. Often with minimum size requirements which must be met before she will engage in sexual intercourse with a man.

BBC: Big Black Cock, used to describe the oversized penis of a black man.

BWC: Big White Cock, used to describe the oversized penis of a white man.

Queen Of Spades: The name sometimes given to a white woman who prefers sex with black men, often with above average penises.