taglist and transcript under the cut.
(send an ask to be added or removed.)
AN EXCURSION TO THE ENIGMA OF HINDSIGHT OF HIDING
when the dusk sets upon another day’s palpable roof, i climb the stairs to feel the cold in the clothes. the chill is nothing but another victim of nature’s pocket folds, another one that doesn’t last but occurs each day, on the stroke. “i rise, i rise, i rise”, i say when the sun is not around to make my way. i fail, i fail, i fail, i feel another eternity of a daughter’s fate. //the clamp of these adjoined roofs reeks of a damp shoulder that rubs on yours. i could see our neighbor’s television set, the men with their bar nibbles in the kind of bowl that i wouldn’t let another soul take out the crockery cabinet. stumbling in between the clotheslines, i call upon God to patrol the men in hiding.// i larp as another victim of the menstrual cycle- a lifeless frame made of the red; a work-in-progress. debugging the long-believed myth of a woman making a man, i climb the stairs two at a time. i am trying to open myself for the future, replicating my body’s instincts, too soon to not last long, like an unripe banana. // with hardly any antennas in sight to disrupt, i pick up grits to throw at our neighbor’s. they have held me too dear, caressed my head so much that now my hair is falling flat. and i cannot be God’s another child who loses beauty because the beholder’s eyes held them too tight. // but instead, i drop them on the street, hoping to witness some blood when a head crashes into them, hoping to witness some human in these beings. the thoughts have no end for their completion is symbiotic to the noiseless walls. the people in this area have given up on feeling pretty & i am thinking of applying the shoplifted Lakme’s blood-red lipstick. // each day, the covet to scare takes up a new member’s place in our house & my mother is falling short of the food to serve. each day, i give up another hair to look pretty when i comb. each day, i dream of fetching those china bowls and hiding them into the trap of nature’s pocket folds.
taglist:
@ruins-of-heart @a-moonlit-poet @bedfordhealyx @it-is-what-it-it-iss @kajukatliontop @nochampagneonlyproblems @champagnesrush @mydogisgaytoo @lilhappylilsad @dehydratedsucculent @parihumay @jules-hazard @eveesque @wigilda @theazurepoet @cloudlessnightssleeplessfight @catguinstudies @a-smart-dumbass
Can I please be added to your taglist?🥺
heyyy star!! yes for sure<3333
taglist and transcript under the cut!
grief is a mother
grief is a mother that sits with the birds/ early morning in the graveyard/ pouring water over the rained ground./ she sits & thinks & larps over the plants/ that rise above her child’s grave. thunder/ is what she bequeaths before coming home.// home of hers is a rotten kitchen/ where the tiles shine of blood & tears wipe them, where the knives/ don’t know of the cabinet,/ & the spices rot within 20 days./ she stands behind the counter and/ serves the morning soup for two./ gets up & wipes the tears;/ she lets the blood cook the soup.// grief is a mother waiting/ for an unchained daughter./ she rubs the blanket to her feet at night,/ thinks of Spring with the crib of her/ moonchild. a daughter, an unholy wound;/ she dreams of churches and hears/ high pitched snores. snores of another with whom she shares her warmth/ that brings her wishes/ & a means to ponder along.// grief is a mother with an early scar./ each afternoon, in the quiet she drowns/ in her mother’s womb. soaking inside the sac, hands entwined, she rises to practice the/ eulogy she failed. with each breath,/ she dies of the blood that runs in her veins.// grief is a mother with a damp rug,/igniting fires for lives to cradle;/ a mother that sings in whispers by the burrow. calling upon the heathens, she mourns the death of her tears./ grief is a mother that lives/ in the memory of mothers.
taglist: @ruins-of-heart @a-moonlit-poet @bedfordhealyx @it-is-what-it-it-iss @kajukatliontop @nochampagneonlyproblems @stewywhoresseni @mydogisgaytoo @lilhappylilsad @cherryblossom @parihumay @jules-hazard @eveesque @wigilda @theazurepoet @cloudlessnightsleeplessfight @catguinstudies @a-smart-dumbass
transcript and tag list under the cut! (ask to be added):
i am being in one but many forms
remember when it was about screaming once in two months? when i was not a big girl but my father was still old? when all the cheap porcelain was the centre of attention in our house? &, when there were no dolls but i wasn’t allowed to cross the road on my own?// i. the growing is like a venus flytrap: two-fold./ evil, like a fortnight before spring./ spring, like summer’s step-child./ when i remember/ my 8 years old shadow: i was becoming./ now, at 16, i want to be seen.// ii. the mirroring of another’s solitude was a/ foot less deep when i handed them my chocolate. now, i am making bread but to never consume. now, i don’t measure sugar/ or hear the alarm./ if it weren’t for the cries for 8 pm tv shows,/ i’d still be a little more tenuous./ i think a girl starts rotting when/ she feels blood in her body.// iii. not to say that i can lie today, but/ there was not much to lie about back then./ i broke a glass./ but another hand searched for the shards too./ and also! i never had to lie!/ my brother announced my mishaps/ before my mother even approached me.// iv. today, i do not lie on the ground/ but rush to the washroom to sit and stare./ i feel content when i grit my teeth/ & i don’t feel them breaking/ because,/ i always closed my mouth when i peed./ oh, don’t you know? my mother said/ it’s bad for your teeth when you let them be/ in the restroom. it weakens them./ “as if teeth are something that could be/ weaken! as if teeth have beards!”// v. to write nothing everyday is not a logic/ i want to normalise. but the thing is,/ it starts to feel ecstatic/ when i see a mirror & i stand to stare./ another being. same as me./ i exist,/ two fold: skin and bones./ tenuous: a rope tied to throat./ i exist./ i didn’t rot, i exist.
taglist: @ruins-of-heart @a-moonlit-poet @rottensummerlove @it-is-what-it-it-iss @kajukatliontop @nochampagneonlyproblems @champagnesrush @mydogisgaytoo @lilhappylilsad @ch3rryblo55oms @parihumay @jules-hazard @eveesque @wigilda @theazurepoet @star-dust-2317 @catguin-the-kitty-cat @a-smart-dumbass( still not working:((? )
transcript and tag-list under the cut!
still in these streets, water doesn’t wash up/ the clothes on the clotheslines/ the denial in sun’s warmth is visible at noon/ when it’s invisible in its own light/ the language of all is hurling to their/ destination’s child. // still in these streets the girl runs around/ in the brisk of moonlight/ the helium in her brother’s balloons/ comes at the cost of God’s shrilling cries./ all her lovers hop away from her/ favourite rhymes.// still in these streets the dogs pet/ their parents with a wry smile/ cigarettes fall in the grass after hushing the conversations of lovers around midnight/ films reel at the town hall/ haunting the elder’s sight. // still in these streets the clouds/ don’t hold back tears when the young dies/ still the the general store doesn’t open all night/ still in these streets, my parents walk alike.
taglist: @ruins-of-heart @a-moonlit-poet @bedfordhealyx @it-is-what-it-it-iss @kajukatliontop @nochampagneonlyproblems @sifaaarish @mydogisgaytoo @lilhappylilsad @cherryblossom @parihumay @jules-hazard @eveesque @wigilda @theazurepoet @cloudlessnightssleeplessfight @catguinstudies @a-smart-dumbass @anarchist-therapist @sweetbutwhateverbaby
please feel free to send an ask to be added or removed!<3
transcript:
I have been meaning to form coherent sentences/ for a month now,/ which is to say i died/ a month ago,/ which is to say i was seen/ since my beginning,/ which is to say i was / grieved too,/ in a way that/ didn’t exceed my expectations,/ which is to say/ the people who touched my carcass/ might still be breathing/ with a/ washed- off sense / of myself,/ which is to say/ i am alive.
taglist under the cut (ask to be added or removed.):
@ruins-of-heart @a-moonlit-poet @jules-hazard @rottensummerlove @it-is-what-it-it-iss @kajukatliontop @nochampagneonlyproblems @champagnesrush @mydogisgaytoo @lilhappylilsad @ch3rryblo55oms @parihumay (if somebody knows their moved blog, please inform!) @eveesque
transcript:
august is shifting its entry wounds to october’s doors and the lines of your palms are telling you the number of summers you have spent in your shadow./ the essence of your mayhem is corpsing with sun’s each passing ray;/ the salivary savour of the right ingrown wisdom tooth has cut through your tongue./ in lieu of mango-lit dreamland hours, you are bleeding summer’s grass blades into bleached hair by the pumpkin moon./ the air doesn’t taste saline anymore. // the badlands bequeathed from your father’s lineage have traces ingrained/ even in your attic’s decades-old dust./ they are robbing you of yarns of your maternal grandma’s sarees./ and you’re tired./ you’re tired of helping your mother out to make space for every hand-me-downs/ she has been shoving under her bed. // summer did cut through like a knife/ but you had been stitching your outspoken words/ together to make sweeter sentences,/ so,/ when this year’s fall bids your birds goodbye, they wouldn’t be left with traces of your anomaly. the ones that flew out/ as soon as you opened yourself to the sun,/ for you have realised that the light/ can find you even with the curtains drawn./ there is no place to hide except for the sun’s mouth.// the top right foot of the dinning table/ has stopped creaking./ your grandfather passed away in July./ Chapatis in the house have/ thickened to the normal measure,/ so now,/ you won’t get called names on your bony frame. father sits in the bedroom, contemplating/ on the bait of his day’s sweat by/ the notes he gave out that day and the ones/ he will receive at the end of the month./ the dining table,/ now,/ sits empty in a muffled rattle.// your tongue tastes like/ the decayed French Marigolds/ you found in your late may’s school backpack./ its fragrance still travels through when/ you smell it in between the beige curtains/ of the attic’s room./ you are pondering on what must it be like to watch yourself sleep./ the heart is not heart shaped and/ you want to wash dishes with the foam/ but there are none left in the sink./ you haven’t eaten for 2 hours and,/ unlawfully,/ like an adult’s dream,/you are hungry again.
taglist under the cut! ( send an ask to be added removed.)
@champagnesrush @ch3rryblo55oms @ruins-of-heart @a-moonlit-poet @rottensummerlove @jules-hazard @it-is-what-it-it-iss @kajukatliontop @floralbeast @mydogisgaytoo @lilhappylilsad @parihumay (if anyone knows their moved blog, pls notify me)
Hey sweetie! ♥️
Hope you are getting better...! The thing I wanted you to know is that you are amazing. Your writing really awestruck me and I am always dully amazed whenever I read your work. The emotions and words go so well together and the quality of your work has only been increasing day by day!
Just keep up the good work! I can't wait to read more of your poems (Maybe one day, we might even collaborate on one 👀)
Keep well and wish you a speedy recovery 🙏
hello love! just got back from docs so def on the track of getting better thanks so much for asking <3. im so glad u enjoy my writing this is brimming my heart with all the soft candies in the world. and o!! m!! g!! the collab!! i have always wanted to do one with u and like🙇🏻♀️ now that u have mentioned it i see no choice but to abide. 🧚🏼♂️
transcript and tag-list under the cut!
still in these streets, water doesn’t wash up/ the clothes on the clotheslines/ the denial in sun’s warmth is visible at noon/ when it’s invisible in its own light/ the language of all is hurling to their/ destination’s child. // still in these streets the girl runs around/ in the brisk of moonlight/ the helium in her brother’s balloons/ comes at the cost of God’s shrilling cries./ all her lovers hop away from her/ favourite rhymes.// still in these streets the dogs pet/ their parents with a wry smile/ cigarettes fall in the grass after hushing the conversations of lovers around midnight/ films reel at the town hall/ haunting the elder’s sight. // still in these streets the clouds/ don’t hold back tears when the young dies/ still the the general store doesn’t open all night/ still in these streets, my parents walk alike.
taglist: @ruins-of-heart @a-moonlit-poet @bedfordhealyx @it-is-what-it-it-iss @kajukatliontop @nochampagneonlyproblems @sifaaarish @mydogisgaytoo @lilhappylilsad @cherryblossom @parihumay @jules-hazard @eveesque @wigilda @theazurepoet @cloudlessnightssleeplessfight @catguinstudies @a-smart-dumbass @anarchist-therapist @sweetbutwhateverbaby
please feel free to send an ask to be added or removed!<3
transcript:
I have been meaning to form coherent sentences/ for a month now,/ which is to say i died/ a month ago,/ which is to say i was seen/ since my beginning,/ which is to say i was / grieved too,/ in a way that/ didn’t exceed my expectations,/ which is to say/ the people who touched my carcass/ might still be breathing/ with a/ washed- off sense / of myself,/ which is to say/ i am alive.
taglist under the cut (ask to be added or removed.):
@ruins-of-heart @a-moonlit-poet @jules-hazard @rottensummerlove @it-is-what-it-it-iss @kajukatliontop @nochampagneonlyproblems @champagnesrush @mydogisgaytoo @lilhappylilsad @ch3rryblo55oms @parihumay (if somebody knows their moved blog, please inform!) @eveesque