Me When I Consume An Absurd Amount Of Heterosexual Media And Then Wonder Why I Still Have Internalised

2014 dove Cameron is my muse

cant dm my mutuals like a normal person so i have to think of ridiculous things to post so i can maybe get an Interaction from them passivestyle

I want to look like a feminine gay man but in a lesbian way

will never stop thinking about them

Honestly I'm not sure if I just realised I'm asexual or just incredibly freaked out.

Or both.

God I love non sexual intimacy

Like yes, please sit in complete silence with me while we make direct eye contact without talking, only listening to the sound of each others breathing

Why I Love Butch Women, by Carol A. Queen, from Dagger: on Butch Women

Source: Out In America; A Portrait Of Gay and Lesbian Life , by Michael Goff and the staff of OUT magazine

I've always wondered why i experienced internalised homophobia as a lesbian but not any other identity i identified with, and i realised that other peoples perception of me is entirely different.

i was out with friends the other day and i happened to hold the door open for two girls and smile at them as they walked past, and in my head i was just doing it to be polite but my friends assumed that i was only doing it because of some possible attraction i had to them.

i don't have any other lesbian friends so i cant assume it was just because i am gnc or if it was just because im a lesbian but i realised that everything i do is seen as some extension of my sexuality.

after i realised i was a lesbian i avoided mentioning it or being direct about it because i didn't want it to define me or for other people to be aware of it as if i had something to be ashamed of, but the only reason i felt ashamed is because people only refer to my identity in a negative or mocking context. i noticed that non lesbians hypersexualise me more than they would for a bisexual.

almost every interaction i have with women is seen as motivated by my attraction, as if thats the way i think. it makes me think that non lesbians view my attraction as some kind of perversion and honestly its kind of humiliating.

As a queer person, specifically as a lesbian, its so comforting to just accept my queerness authentically and not have to water down my identity for other and to just be as weird about my identity as I want to be

Guys I miss my non existent girlfriend