Presenting To You, The F-girl. Better Than The F-boys.

beauty & brains

Unfortunately I wasn't a 16 yr old upper middle class teen in LA in 2015 in my tiny bikini and with tinier shot glasses so I'm just gonna have to relive that in the corners of a social media app through memoirs of lives in the forms of photographs which I wish I could've been in <3

the beach photos were unmatched

Me and who?

I think you're crazy, baby

My take on an ideal Christmas.

So, I saw a lot of people blogging about their ideal Christmas. It, frankly, tempted me—though I'm quite aware this'll go unread. Just a place to share my thoughts.

Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. You know, the guy that died for our sins and was initially condemned for it but later returned in full glory, embracing every nook and cranny of the world as a religious breakthrough. The main idea he propagated was basically that we care for everyone, spread love and abide by some basic principles—most important of which was to stay humble and kind.

Then, tell me, why do we feel the need to be extravagant on the very occasion that is supposed to celebrate the birth of someone who is the humblest of all?

The idea of people throwing small, domestic parties is quite fine—comforting and valuable, in fact. Cosy gatherings with your family and friends, all huddled up close with fulfilling and hearty but not necessarily extravagant food, a piping hot cup of coffee and a crackling fireplace, whilst helping out those in your locality with warm food and clothes—even the street pets; the perfect idea of Christmas. Being grateful for all you have but not indulging too much.

Usually, I'd never comment on these things—it's none of my business on how people splurge their money. But recently I've been seeing posts about people having extravagant, over-the-top and simply infuriatingly indulgent Christmases. Not just that—these are the same people who refuse to help someone in need. They'll come up with excuses like, "Oh, I'm not rich enough to help this person."; or worse, "Oh, I don't have anything to give to this poor stray.—and then they proceed to make themselves look like a kind person by sharing quotes like, "give back as much as you can." Very ironic, isn't it, considering that a sandwich for a starving homeless person is barely 3 dollars at a Walmart and a sausage even lesser for the poor shivering dog on the streets? Don't you realise that the time you spend preaching, you can use that time to actually help people in need and make a difference? Even the smallest difference counts, people! Make a change! Splurge less on things you already have and start splurging on kindness—no matter how less you can give away!

Anyway, this felt more like a rant than a take on an ideal Christmas. This post is just futile. People don't change. But I need to channel the angry humanitarian inside me, so—Here goes nothing.

I want love, not blatant domination and oppression.

Victoria Chang, from With My Back to the World: Poems; “The Islands, 1961”

I swear I go non verbal at the most crucial moments

Does anyone know where I can purchase Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses? It's been on my tbr for a while. I want an affordable version; stuff online is costing me upwards 70000.

+Cults, flora cash, the fat rat, aurora, of monsters and men, noisettes, maybe even alan walker—Can I get an amen too?

if no one got me I know mumford & sons, hozier, lord huron, radical face, ethel cain, florence & the machine, sleeping at last and noah kahan got me, can I get an amen

Ben is a fucking genius.

Ben Cooper (Radical Face) in his Spotify Wrapped message be like "I really think there are better things you could be listening to, but thank you"

Man. Guy. I have kept Radical Face snugly against my heart for years and enthusiastically recommended him to everybody who would listen. His songs have inspired so much creativity, I've named so many short stories after them, made characters based on them, and named my first finished novel-length story Homesick. RF kept me calm and helped me sleep when I was in the hospital for my brain ("Letters Home" and "From the Mouth of an Injured Head" were dear to me then). "The Mute" is the most beautiful song I've ever heard about the autistic experience. I'm a queer exmormon from an abusive household and "Bad Blood" cuts so deep into that wound and lets it bleed like it needs to. I sang "Servants and Kings" to my partner on our seventh anniversary. Singing "Wrapped in Piano Strings" helped ground me through a horrific time involving my family. "Everything Costs" describes pretty much exactly what happened with them and my place in it.

No, RF didn't save my life per se, but damn, he sure has inspired me to feel my emotions and find sometimes heartbreaking beauty in them and use them to make something new. Like water, RF keeps everything moving, helps wash away the grime, helps break dams that need to be broken.

No there are not better things I could be listening to, Ben.