Some Of You. Have Never Seen My Cousin Vinny. And It Shows.

tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

whoa alicia teagan was jordan in that identity theft episode ! this is fun for me

- watching white collar

- JESSICA FROM POI WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE DATING ANOTHER SOLDIER TOO DANG

S N A E K 

janelovessnake on ig

so turns out mindlessly scrolling on my phone for 4 hours didn't actually make me feel better

Mark? MARK? Hes wired in. Sorry? He’s wired in. Is he? Yes. How bout now you still wired in? Call security. You issued 24 million new shares of stock! You were told that if new investors came along- how much were your shares diluted? How much were his? You signed the papers. You set me up! You’re gonna blame me because you were the business head of the company and you made a bad business deal with your own company? This is gonna be like im not a part of facebook. It won’t be like youre not a part of facebook. Youre not a part of facebook. My name’s on the masthead! You might wanna check again. Is this because i froze the account??? You think we were gonna let you parade around in your ridiculous suits pretending you were running this company? SORRY MY PRADAS AT THE CLEANERS! Along with my hoodie and my fuck you flip flops, you pretentious douchebag! Security’s here, youll be leaving now. Im not signing those papers. We’ll get that signature. Tell me this isnt about me getting into the Phoenix. You… you did it i knew you did it! You planted the story about the chicken! I didnt plant that story about the chicken- Whats he talking about? You had me accused of animal cruelty! Seriously. What the hells the chicken? And i’ll bet what you hated the most, is that they identified me as a co founder of facebook WHICH I AM. You better lawyer up asshole, cause im not coming back for 30%… im coming back for EVERYTHING. Get him out of here. Its okay, I’m going. Hang on! Almost forgot. Here’s your $19,000. I wouldn’t cash it though i drew it on the account you froze. I like standing next to you, Sean. It makes me look so tough.

wanted to submit this flash fiction thing to this magazine, was trying to figure out what to say in my bio so i looked at some on their website, realized that all these accepted submissions were written by people with MFAs and previous publications and shit, decided to not submit it

Shipping a man in a canon het relationship with another man but I'm shaking my head the whole time so you know it's not out of misogynistic disregard for the woman character

Off on a case! ✨

collecting posts of this type

okay markwardo.