My Friend Said This To Me Recently And It’s Genuinely One Of The Most Profound Feminist Insights I’ve

Travelling to a Meet POT Checklist

Having travelled to numerous places to meet POTs, I have had a mental note of a little checklist that I always use. I am finally writing it down because I see that a lot of people are interested in travelling to meet their POTs, or sex workers/escorts interested in meeting with clients that are not from the same hometown and wish to travel. Travelling is a lot of fun but you must also be aware and stay safe. Here is a little check list that I have come up with that will help ensure more of your safety and comfort while travelling. Make sure you can honestly answer all these questions and fill it out fully before you travel anywhere!

Xoxo love J (IntlSugarBaby)

Checklist & Questions:

The Security:

1. Do I know his real name?

2. Do I know his business/work?

3. Do I have his real contact information?

4. Have I had a Skype conversation with him yet? (To verify pics are real)

5. Have I had a phone conversation with him yet? 

6. Have I researched him enough? (Is he on any criminal web pages, SB blacklist, anything in the news about him, etc.)

7. Did you give all this information to at least 2-3 trusted sources? (Give one to a friend that you trust in person, another one that is from the sugar bowl could be from tumblr, and etc. Make sure people have this information!)

8. Do I have security cash in case things go wrong? (Always make sure you have extra cash on you in case things go wrong. I would say maybe 200-500 extra on you. You never know)

9. Have I discussed intimacy with him? (Does he know that you will not be having sex on the first date you are down there? That you will not tolerate inappropriate behaviour?)

The Comfort:

1. Where am I travelling to? How long am I travelling to this area for? (I only recommend 2-3 days maximum for a first travel)

2. If I am travelling longer than 3 hours on a plane, am I getting first class? (You bet your ass you better be!)

3. Am I getting round trip flights? (Double check and call the airline to make sure it is valid! If you feel more comfortable booking yourself make sure you get all the money to book through PayPal for your trip!)

4. Am I getting my own hotel room? Is it booked with: Four Seasons, W Hotel, Trump Hotel, etc? (Non-negogiable. You must get your own hotel room. No ifs, ands, or buts. Call the front desk to guarantee it is booked and to make sure you have your own room. Make sure you are ALSO getting a nice hotel, not some cheap MOTEL!)

5. Have I discussed allowance and payments to come down? (Plane ticket and accommodation do NOT account for your time being spent down there. You must be paid for your time that you are with him. Usually for my 2-3 day rule I would ask anywhere between $1,000-3,000. It all depends for how many times you see him, how long you see him, etc.)

6. Have I discussed a “free-time” with him? (You need a break from him. You need your own time. Within each day you are down there say you need this which can be used to explore, have your own spa day, etc. You are NOT required to be with them at every moment!)

7. Do I have arrangements that a car is picking me up from my house/friends house/local area to the airport and back from the airport? As well as soon as I land in the designated town that I am being picked up by a car and drove straight to the hotel? (Never hop in a car with him straight from the airport. Make sure you go straight to your hotel from a limo/taxi car paid for by him you should not be wasting a dime on anything down there. If you need transportation to the airport from your hometown make that known to him!)

8. Have I discussed when I will be getting my payment? (I always ask for it as soon as I meet up with him in an envelope. This allows you that if no matter if there isn’t a connection there you still get paid! Do not accept payment after your date through paypal or any other way, or cheques. Always make sure it is in cold, hard, cash and in an envelope first meeting. No excuses) 

9. What is the itinerary once I get there? (Make sure you know a list of exactly what you are doing. Are you going to a broadway show? The casino? A dinner? Where is the locations + addresses? Make sure to always keep checking in with your “safety” sisters aka friends! Also plan! If you are going to LA and want to go to Hollywood tell your POT. Remember this is a little trip for you so enjoy it!)

What to pack in my suitcase:

1. Always bring a carry on or a large purse. It is a lot quicker to go through the airport without having to check any bags. Remember to always pack light as well because you definitely will be shopping down there!

2. Bring 1 casual outfit. This is for site-seeing, going out and exploring. Something you feel comfortable in (shoe wise) and can walk around for extended periods of time. I would suggest a pair of jeans cute sandals or flats and a super cute top. Accessorize to make yourself look better - nice purse, sunglasses, bracelets/watch etc.

3. Bring 2 nice dinner outfits. I usually am super indecisive when it comes to dinner outfits. I usually bring two really nice ones! One will be a tight dress medium-short length, and another a more longer dress that is classier. Once you arrive in the city you will know what fits in more there and what is easier and more comfortable to wear. Bring your best heels: Louboutins! And of course accessories.

4. Bring 1 Sleeping wear. Usually a comfy top and bottom, or if you are feeling more risqué bring a sexy night gown or something. Remember you have your own hotel room and intimacy is not expected on your first trip down there. This is purely for your comfort!

5. All your sleepover gear stuff. Toothbrush, small lube of toothpaste, make up remover wipes, hair and bobby pins, hair ties, deodorant, a super mini body spray (check your airlines for maximum you can bring).

6. Your make up and accessories. Bring your most used make up such as: Foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, a couple of brushes, eyebrow pencil and lip gloss. You can bring bronzer and blush as well but remember don’t bring your entire make up kit! Some stuff might get lost… bring stuff you DEFINITELY would use! As for accessories: sunglasses, a statement watch or bracelet, and ring possibly. Keep it minimum, stick to statement pieces! Don’t want to loose anything!

7. Bring 1 Bathing Suit. You know maybe you want to take a dip in the pool, go to the sauna, or head to the beach on your time off. Who knows, always great to have a bathing suit packed just in case - you never know!

8. Extra feminine supplies. Just in case you get your period on the trip, you never know! Also bring extra gravol, or advil that you potentially could need trying different foods, or just not feeling well on the trip. 

9. Pack anything else you think is necessary! Remember, pack light and research what the weather is going to be like when you get down there. Is it going to be warm? Rainy? Cloudy? Check all the weather and make sure you know and pack accordingly!

Plane Checklist:

1. Bring head phones, ipod (if you don’t have an iphone), phone charger, lip gloss, little compact mirror, passport, wallet with extra cash in it, your drivers license (if you are over age of 19 in Canada you can drink there, or over 21 in States! That way you don’t have to bring your passport along with you), a magazine, and little snack to enjoy. This is usually in my hand bag/purse that I also carry on the plane. It is your plane survival and extra time alone survival kit!

2. Get your boarding passes in order, text your POT that you arrived at the airport and just wait to board the flight!

Enjoy your trips meeting your POTs! Remember to have a great time and go through the check list. If they are hesitant about any parts of it or can’t answer and try to negotiate around some of the things… these are viewed as red flags. Immediately drop them. A POT will ALWAYS want your safety and comfort to come first. If he speaks of sex in the hotel, or anything that you are not comfortable with you immediately lay down the line saying that it won’t be tolerated. Make sure to stand up for your values and comfort. The worst thing these men can say is NO which is not a big deal at all. There is a million other guys to replace them. They are indeed replaceable.

Have an amazing trip to where ever you travel to. Remember to stay safe! Safety is a number one priority! Wishing all the hustlers the best of luck.

Xoxo love Mama J

Cultured and Self-Improvement Activities to Undertake when Self Isolation is Over:

Getting a private language tutor. Arabic is my second language and I want to heighten and sharpen my skills even further to full professional capacity. After this, I plan to take group French classes to pick up some lingo!

Cooking classes! I am planning to make a reservation at the best cooking school in the city with a friend for a French 3 course cooking lesson. We will learn to cook ratatouille, cheese soufflé and creme brûlée - paired with glass after glass of red wine!

Salsa dancing: so much fun, great workout and easy way to meet new people!

Deep extraction facial at a high end dermatology clinic to get you ready for your post iso life!

Patisserie lessons at a professional pastry school

Explore high end boutiques with a curated selection of Italian, Scandinavian and European brands of clothing, bags and accessories: learn about fabrics, manufacturing, quality and geography

Watch a classic musical at the Capitol Theatre

Head to community markets in affluent neighbourhoods

Writing workshops! My goal is to exercise the creative side of my writing more, as well as develop professional research methodologies. A 2-3 day group writing workshop is an amazing investment.

Cheese and wine tastings

Horse riding

Boxing classes! Tone up, build insane stamina and lose fat

Supporting local theatre and play performances

Calligraphy class

Improv class - learn to think on the spot, communicate better, and interact with a wide, spontaneous variety of people more effectively!

Seasonal events at art and history museums

Pasta-making class with an Italian nonna!

Exploring a new bar, lounge, pub or venue every week! Experiencing different scenes, vibes, crowds and liquors

On love

Eurydice (Sarah Ruhl); Liana Rādulescu ; “Spending More Time” (Ron Hicks); Song of Achilles (Madeline Miller) ; It’s Been a Long, Long Time (Harry James, Kitty Kallen); Unknown ; Romeo and Juliet, Act 1 Scene 1 (Shakespeare); Six of Crows (Leigh Bardugo); Unknown, Quora ; Eurydice (Sarah Ruhl)

website

unstoppable force (wanting to be the kindest version of myself) vs immovable object (all the anger and hatred I have inside myself)

Pondering the self this afternoon

STOP MYTHOLOGIZING THE RICH ABEG!!!

Beauty can only exist by exclusion much like whiteness. The more horizontal (more groups) beauty gets the more hyper specific beauty becomes because to include everyone would be negating the very point of beauty as a construct. If there are no ugly features/traits there are no beautiful ones.

There's something so fascinating about the way female beauty and what makes a woman beautiful are discussed in older books. Reading works like Ars Amatoria and studying fashion history helped 17 year old me realize that beauty and the pursuit of it doesn't have to be shallow, and you - both as a witness of it and as its owner - are the one who decides how much depht it has

Under male dominion each apocalypse caused by a man is treated as a "mistake" and the consequences shouldn't "ruin his life". He should be free to try everything again.

But a woman is simply an incubator of the inevitable - whatever situation she creates was OBVIOUSLY always going to be [whatever it turns out to be]. Good outcomes are merely expected, bad outcomes are malice or willful stupidity.

The male socio-sexual purpose (group advancement of the gene pool through experimentation) turned cargo cult:

men are instruments of female experimentation > men are associated with experimenting > men are somehow the primary agents of experimentation

Men can fuck around. Men can create expensive box office failures, environmental collapse, wipe out entire life forms. After each disaster it is his right to go home to his wife and recuperate. His (female) students, fans and family members. This regeneration period is crucial for any creator to be able to face the blank canvas once more. And it's important for humanity that creators do so.

Women are printers responsible for making faithful copies of whatever expirimental results the group already has decided to reproduce. Her value is in her faithfulness as a scribe, not a writer - AWMF. So if she creates herself a Sticky Situation, as creators do, she is socially starved of love and support.

Because love and support are vital for a creator to come to terms with creative disasters + try creating again. Stopping this is the goal.

I am always inches away from starting a FSSW-only discord group. Always.