Fine, I Have Fallen For Dr. Robert Chase Propaganda...

Every episode of house be like:

A small child is visibly ill. They start coughing and clutching their throat, but whips out an inhaler and they’re fine. Oh shit! The man across the street just started bleeding out of both of his eyeballs!

Cut to house grimacing in pain and swallowing too much Vicodin.

Differential! Go! Shut up chase you’re an idiot.

They do a bunch of tests, everything is inconclusive!

We need to biopsy the patients eyeballs!

Cut to foreman explaining to the family about how invasive and dangerous a biopsy is.

Biopsy is inconclusive. Cut to house and Wilson. Wilson gives a long introspective dialogue about how houses addiction is deeply rooted in his own self hatred and that he pushes people away to further punish himself.

Epiphany time! Give the patient the medicine drug!

Patient is saved. House and Wilson eye fuck each other while going out for drinks.

I had a vision

they have very particular relationship, I hope to explore it in later posts

I have the whole storyline with these two in my head (I'm developing it since 8th grade, yes i have a problem)

but I've never shared it with anyone bc a lot of that story circle around my OC's and I was embarrassed 😫

(ford, rick and one of my OC are in poly relationship, and yes I really wanted them to be in poly relationship, that's why I created the oc but i grew very fond of her and she developed as separate character and now she's actually pretty cool! also when I was younger i literally couldn't write interesting OC's, I wrote Mary Sue's left and right💀💀💀)

I'm probably gonna focus on rick and ford tho

(yes i reposted bc i realized I didn't like the background, if anybody saw that no you didn't.)

we can all agree that this scene was one of the most dread inducing things ever, right? i honestly feel like I'm gonna throw up everytime I see or think about it.

they look so cute together i cannot- 🥺

also look at Evil Morty here

guys, i'm melting😭

Based on THIS POST by @sanchezsimp which I could not stop thinking about until I made my own rendition

LOOOOLLL, I don't know why I did this

FOR REALLLLL SLKXJXJSKKSJX

i can't get over it...

he keeps Morty's photo in his wallet.

I cannot be normal about it.

he keeps Morty's photo in his wallet.

no, I'm not crying. completely not sobbing over it. 😭😭😭😭

i remember when I first saw the ending I was so shocked but like in a good way. deadass started crying bc it's so heartwarming I just😭

Smith family coffee order HCs, courtesy of yours truly, a former barista

@hazelnut-u-out posted a poll yesterday about whether or not Rick Sanchez is an iced coffee drinker (short answer: yes, but nuance to come) and I realized that I never came up with HCs for the family's coffee orders. I love doing this for fandoms I'm in because I barista-ed for A While and low key miss it sometimes. Anyway, headcanons!!

Rick

So in his tough guy-tortured loner-vigilante phase he was obviously an avid black coffee drinker (usually spiked). Being on the run/not having a place to call one's own he develops a taste for practicality and simplicity. Thus, he likes an easy drink you can get anywhere that is impossible to mess up. However, in a post-"Analyze Piss", post-Prime, 'Rick Sanchez is experiencing new levels of DGAF' world we get into the chaotic beverage enjoyer phase. First off, he has 100% tried every single new special drink that Starbucks rolls out. The summer skies boba thing, the oleato, everything. (He's a big fan of the Irish cream flavor when it comes out seasonally and was pissed the first time when he realized it didn't have alcohol in it.) Because Rick is hugely dopamine seeking so fun colored, fun flavored things always catch his eye. I also feel like he would majorly enjoy specialty coffee shops that do elaborate coffee drinks, like this man would fuck up a cereal milk latte. I also will contend that in this phase he has no regular order, he literally gets a different thing every time just to experiment with as many drinks as possible.

Beth

Drinks flat whites because she thinks they're classy and it's easier to have a simple coffee order for the intern at the vet to take down. I also think that she generally likes mixing caffeine and alcohol (huge espresso martini fan) and probably lost her mind on vodka red bulls in college. She also definitely had a red bull addiction to get through vet school but now she only drinks them as a guilty pleasure.

Space Beth

In honor of the fact that she's recreating her dad's 30s I think she has the same taste in coffee as a young Rick, which means she drinks it black and strong. She seems like an avid French press user and most likely has sourced fancy beans from somewhere in space (Venusian coffee probably fucks)

Jerry

Hot caramel macchiato, but he's convinced that this is the traditional way macchiatos are made and despite multiple arguments about the origins of macchiatos he is staunchly of the opinion that the actual drink is an upside down latte with fuck tons of caramel.

Summer

Pink drink purist, maybe gets matcha cold foam on top when she's feeling fancy. Although I could also see her getting vanilla iced lattes when she wants more caffeine. And if she's with Rick I can imagine her joining him in ordering crazy coffees just for fun.

Morty

Morty Smith is a fourteen year old boy, the Mocha Cookie Crumble Frap was basically made for him. It's just a fucking milkshake with caffeine, although I think that when he's with Beth and Jerry they make him get the crème version.

sour.

"YOU'RE WELCOME, BY THE WAY!"

this sentence is sour and resentful. you can hear he's playing it cool and wants to announce that he's better than Rick b u t there's a hint of resentfulness.

they had something, he hates Rick for rejecting him and destroying it.

no because the greater intergalactic community must have been SO confused when rick started carting morty around. like, the intergalactic terrorist known for having no morals and fucking everyone over is suddenly taking this random fucking human kid with him everywhere.

and at first, people are like, maybe the kid is a victim of some kind, like he was kidnapped or something, but nope! according to everyone who's interacted with the two of them together, he seems to be traveling with this known intergalactic terrorist (mostly) willingly!

and then, someone hears the kid call the rick sanchez "grandpa" and the intergalactic internet goes wild.

so people start trying to figure out how the hell rick fucking sanchez managed to get a grandson, and why the hell he's bringing said grandson along on his various errands and genocides. because this kid doesnt really come across as some crazy genius, or epic fighter, or anything like that! but one day, a story begins to spread starting from one of rick's former business partners.

see, this former business partner of rick's thought it would be a good idea to knowingly sell rick fake k-lax, and rick didnt react too kindly to it. but, as the story goes, just as rick goes to send a bullet right through the guy's skull, the kid stops him. he gets rick to stand down as long as the guy gives rick a refund. so this guy survives crossing rick sanchez because some human kid had some sort of sway over rick!

the kid's name gets leaked. it's morty.

so maybe some of rick's enemies decide kidnapping morty will be a good way to get sway over this intergalactic terrorist. and they lock morty up, sure, but theyre not that worried about using the most secure locks or hiding the guns or anything like that. after all, the kid's a pacifist, right?

then imagine their surprise when this human kid comes guns blazing out of the burning wreckage of their base, coated in the guards' blood, just in time to hop into rick's ship (which only just arrived) like its no big deal.

and people realize that this kid might be more of a threat than they thought.

and, eventually, morty smith's presence is almost as intimidating and panic-inducing as the presence of rick sanchez.

and people on space tumblr edit flower crowns onto pictures of morty that they stole from news websites.