Art With Lily In The Hotel Bed Makes Me So Upset. Like Tashi You Could Do No Wrong But You Did Wrong

just had to fight my bf and my bf's bf on the fact that tashi isn't a bad person 💔 i hate it here 💔

sweet ; tashi duncan

the duncanator.

that was the nickname you’d heard throughout stanford that people would use to describe tashi duncan. fierce and ambitious, with a sharp competitive streak. but, really, tashi was just your friend. silly, and witty, with a top tier fashion sense, and who knew what places served a mean cappuccino.

you could see how some people would be confused with your friendship. she’d taken you under her wing after a group project assigned to you two and a couple other people. the other students were about to let you do the work, and she was not having that.

now, the two of you were seemingly inseparable. weekly sleepovers, study hangouts, shopping sprees. you name it.

but, eventually, you started seeing a shift in your friendship. and you knew she saw it too.

lingering touches, wisty glances across the room, smiles became more pronounced whenever the other spoke. the hangouts became more frequent, silly texts were sent and responded to in seconds. but why would tashi duncan be interested in you? she would’ve answered that question for you any day. you only had to ask.

but one night.

the two of you were in her dorm for your weekly sleepover (every friday night, at 7:30 pm sharp. she’d questioned you relentlessly the one time you arrived at 7:45. never again), sharing a bowl of popcorn alongside some chocolate bars. tashi had her arm around your shoulders, keeping you tucked in her side. casual, right?

she’s the man was playing, and she would let out a scoff every five seconds. “this movie is so stupid.” she murmured after a moment, her grip on your shoulders tightening for a second before letting it go. “what, you don’t think channing tatum’s cute?” you flashed an amused look.

a slight pause. “he’s.. okay. i guess.” her gaze flickered to the tv in front of you two, seemingly looking for any flaws she could see outright on the man displayed. “too bulky.” she stated bluntly after a moment, her thumb rubbing your shoulder softly. you laughed, shaking your head. “your standards are way too high, tash.” a playfully shove in response.

“i hate you.” she replied, an almost teasing tone lacing her voice as she gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “the feeling’s mutual.” you grinned, taking a candy bar and nibbling on it. “i doubt it.” she retorted, the words followed with a light laugh. she pulled you closer to her, resting her chin on top of your head.

tashi was completely comfortable with you this close to her, your head resting on her shoulder, and her arm around your own. it was as if the two of you were meant to be like this. “she looks nothing like her brother. everyone in this movie is either stupid or blind.” she huffed. “c’mon. this is peak cinema.” you teased, lightly taking hold on her chin and pinching it lightly.

oh.

her heart felt like it had stopped at your touch. her annoyed expression turned into a soft, almost amused one as she leaned into your touch. “i’d hardly call this peak. or even cinema, for that matter.” she murmured in response, lifting her hand to gently take yours from her chin, intertwining your fingers with her own. she brought your interlocked hands to her lap, her gaze still holding yours.

“not a fan of cheesy rom-coms?” you teased, keeping your hands intertwined. her eyes flickered over yours, and she hummed softly. “nah.” she rolled my eyes playfully. another pause. tashi almost looked in awe, as she looked you over. you enchanted her, and she knew you had her heart held securely in the palm of your hand.

“not when they’re as cheesy as this one.” she said, her gaze flicking around your face. a pause at your lips. “i mean..” she trailed off, snapping out of it as she met your gaze once again. “it’s just weird. the plot in itself. why is cps not at her mom’s door?” she scrunched her nose in distaste.

“good point.” you hummed, turning your attention back to the screen. her gaze flickered back to you once you weren’t looking, admiring your profile. “..hey.” she spoke up hesitantly, almost as if the word escaped against her will. you turned back to face her. “yeah, tash?” you tilted your head. her fingers tightened her grip on yours for a moment, and she opened her mouth, then closed it. you felt a smile grace your lips.

god, her heart almost ached.

her expression turned tender as she returned the smile, closing the distance very slightly. it was subtle, but you both noticed it. “i just..” she trailed off, her gaze piercing into yours. she bit her lip, her eyes slowly trailing down to your lips once again. “mhm?” your smile widened, and you inched closer just the slightest bit. she leaned closer, trying to capture your mouth with her own.

she let out a soft sigh at the feeling of your lips against hers. as if she had been waiting for this. yearning, almost. she let go of your hand, taking hold of your waist and tugging you onto her lap. she almost couldn't get enough of you, and her expression was tender as she kissed you, oh so gently.

she broke the kiss, shifting to rest her forehead against yours as she breathed heavily. her hand traced gentle lines on the skin of your thighs, and a small, almost shy, smile tugged at the corners of her lips. she let out a soft laugh, looking down at where you were perched onto her lap, and let her free hand go up to lightly rest under your chin, making you look up at her. her thumb lightly swept across your bottom lip, and her gaze was just as tender as her touch.

tashi said nothing for a moment, her gaze just lingering on you, taking you in. “how long?” you questioned, smiling at her touch. a rare flush filled her cheeks, her expression turning into an almost shy one as she stared down at you. she let out an amused laugh under her breath, her voice quiet and almost embarrassed when she responded, “..a while.”

you laughed along with her, pressing another kiss to her nose. “me too.” you smiled, feeling your heart flutter. “you’re a good kisser.” you admitted, fighting back a giggle. she rolled her eyes playfully, tugging on a strand of your hair lightly. “so are you.” she hummed, and felt herself smile as you pressed a kiss to her nose.

if anyone thought the two of you were inseparable before, now it was way worse. whenever you roamed the hallways, she was right by your side, her hand taking hold of yours. tennis matches? you were there, front row with a stupid t-shirt that said ‘i support the duncanator!’ in bright red lettering. weekly sleepovers were now every two days.

and honestly? she couldn't be happier. she had all that could ever want, with you.

thank uou for showing me your little white boy i do not like him can you put him away please

unpure ; art donaldson

the moment you entered the chapel, art donaldson—perfect, revered, untouchable—momentarily unraveled. known as the pastor’s son and golden boy of a devout small town, he was adored, idolized, and expected to be without flaw. but you weren’t there for god, salvation, or belief. you were there for him. and there was something intoxicating about tempting someone so carefully constructed to be pure—something deliberate in your movements, in the way your skirt rode up, in the way you sat just within his line of sight. you knew he was watching, just as you knew he shouldn’t. yet the tension—the push and pull of guilt and desire—felt electric, and impossibly easy. maybe it was wrong, but it never felt like it. not with the way you looked at him.

thinking about his veins rn

let me jump THEM BONES PLEEEEASEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

yikes. unstanning now. was okay with the cannibalism, wasn’t aware of the ‘being mean to nat’ part.

thinking about patrick zweig and his sexuality…

mrta era up to 2007 i feel like patrick’s in his repressed bisexual era. like, it’s the 2000s and going to a boarding school, i’m sure there’s a lot of repressed homosexuals but, like, it’s definitely not an open thing. and patrick has a reputation to uphold. so, he doesn’t experiment, not yet. but, that doesn’t stop him from looking.

in the hotel room scene, when tashi asks if him and art have done anything, he looks away and sighs — that, to me, is regret. regret that they haven’t done anything. regretting the fact that he missed that opportunity. i do truly think that both art and patrick pined over each other in mrta days, but they were both too shy and repressed to do anything about it. other than distant, yearny looks from across the room.

i’d like to think that something happened between art and patrick after tashi leaves the hotel room, just because. but i think, if it does, it gives patrick a taste of what he’s missing. but he keeps that in the back of his mind, because, well, tashi duncan said she’ll give one of them her number!!

i feel like the first time patrick really first got in touch with his sexuality is post-tashi’s-injury. him being (forcibly) art and tashi-less, forced him to meet new people, and consequently, try new things out. i also think that with art and tashi not being with him, lifts a weight of his shoulders. like a newfound confidence — like, there’s not a sense of scrutiny or criticism from anything that he does anymore. that being said, it’s not like he doesn’t miss them.

now, 2019 patrick, is much more confident in his sexuality. i feel like this was portrayed beautifully by luca guadagnino when patrick eats the banana and stares art down. but, also, the tinder/dating app showing both men and women — which, could just be because this man is broke + homeless and just desperately needed a place to stay, but!! he is not opposed to getting dicked down.

i also think the sauna scene shows the difference between art and patrick’s sexuality. i saw a post on here that said that the way each of their towels are wrapped around their body acts as a metaphor for their sexuality. like, patrick’s towel is loose and barely there, showing that he’s comfortable and unashamed in his bisexuality. but with art, it’s tightly wrapped around, and he still wears his wedding band, though the heat would make the metal tighten around his finger. now, this could be a simple act of devotion to tashi, but, maybe a desperate way to hold on to any semblance of heterosexuality he has? idk! but it definitely reflects his internalised biphobia and repression.

ummm this went longer than expected but like !! <3

challengers i love u and u deserve so much more than this

I don’t wanna be serving cunt anymore I don’t wanna eat and left no crumbs I don’t wanna be gagged I just wanna be normal and basic omg