I Know Pirates Of The Caribbean Would Have Never Been Made Today (on-location Practical Effects Film)

i know pirates of the caribbean would have never been made today (on-location practical effects film) but if it WAS...

we'd absolutely have another "Introducing Disney's First Ever LGBT Character!!" moment, and of course everyone would be like "oh yeah, jack sparrow is bisexual, we're aware, got it." and then disney would be like "No."

and so we'd be like, "Oh, okay, Pintel and Ragetti are definitely not related and there's something homeoerotic going on there. Cool. We support that." and disney would go "No..."

and then they'd point to this fucking picture

I Know Pirates Of The Caribbean Would Have Never Been Made Today (on-location Practical Effects Film)

"Maccus, the shark-headed first mate, has unrequited feelings for Davy Jones..." and there'd be an approximately 0.5 second scene where Maccus looks at Davy out of the corner of his 3rd eye and goes "Davy....." and Davy ignores him and disney is like "We're so brave for this."

and it'd be another goddamn gaston/le fou situation where half of y'all would be going "oh my god slayyyy love is reeaaalll" while the other half are pointing out how weirdly homophobic it is to have the cursed, PERPETUALLY DAMNED, ANIMAL-LIKE men be hinted as gay

and the fanart would be vile

More Posts from 12thdoctorfan and Others

3 months ago
[ID: A timeline labeled "Hyperfixation timeline". All of the font is Comic Sans. Each point of the timeline points to a box with an accompanying doodle.

The first point of the timeline is labeled "so much yapping and theorizing and connecting the dots and—", accompanied by an unhinged person at a corkboard. Their pupils are red and staring at the viewer. The label and line on the timeline is also red. The line on the timeline goes up sharply.

The second point of the timeline is labeled "I can't believe I did all of that. That was embarrassing.", accompanied by the person staring awkwardly at the viewer. The line on the timeline goes down sharply. The text and line are black. 

The third point of the timeline is labeled "Oh god fuck I can feel it coming back", accompanied by the person holding their chest as if they were having a heart attack. The label is black, but the line is a dark red. The line creeps upwards again, but then goes back down. 

The fourth point of the timeline is labeled "Haha that was actually just a bluff", accompanied by the person laughing. The line is flat. The text and line are black. 

The fifth and final point of the timeline is labeled "hyperfixation demon", accompanied by the person looking upwards at the timeline in fear as the hyperfixation demon (drawn in red) lurks behind them. The label has an arrow pointing to the hyperfixation demon. The line and label are in red, with the line going up sharply again. /END ID]

What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.

6 months ago

There's no "wrong" way to live YOUR life! The only important thing is that you are happy.

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

6 months ago

i love cis people cause when i say “when i used to be a girl…” they go “mhmm…. but also….. you’ve ALWAYS been a man” okay ur very sweet but actually i was a weird girl in middle school and you need to know that to understand my personality today

3 months ago

Hey. Your brain needs to de-frag. Literally it needs you to sit there and space out.

If you want your memory or executive function to improve, stare out a window at the skyline or sidewalk or trees or birds on the electrical wires for like 20+ minutes per day. (With no other stimulation like a podcast or TV if you can manage but hey baby steps innit). If you're fortunate enough to have safe outside with any bits of nature, go stare closely at a 1 meter square of grass and trip out on the bugs and shapes of grasses and stuff.

Literally this will make you smarter. Our brains HAVE TO HAVE this zone out time to do important stuff behind the scenes. This does not happen during sleep, it's something else.

That weird pressurized feeling you get sometimes might be your brain on no defrag.

Give your brain a Daily Dose Of De-Frag.

3 months ago

Sorry for infodumping about my special interest out of nowhere, you said a keyword and it activated my unskippable dialogue

3 months ago
I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To

i had to make a solution for this for myself, mostly because of depression, but it makes a nice How To for folks who are low on spoons or could use some help in the kitchen.

Fortunately i was a professional cook for over a decade. UNfortunately the first post i made explaining it was suuuuper long. Let's see if i can do better

So you select any protein that you can cook in a frying pan -- chicken breasts, ground beef, pork chops, sausages, steak, chicken thighs, whatever. You also select one or two types of veggie (mushrooms or tubers also work, i just did this with potatoes and carrots for dinner tonight).

[i like cooking for vegetarians, but this is how i cook for myself when i'm low on spoons - perhaps i'll do another post for meatless meals]

You'll also need some kind of oil, and a sauce or two of your choice in a bottle. All cooking gear is a large frying pan with lid (i prefer non-stick) a spatula, a cutting board, and a knife.

You cut the veggies into bite size pieces, cut up enough for two meals. One kind of veggie is fine, or you can do mix two or three

I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To

Put frying pan on medium heat with a little oil. Tubers or mushrooms or go in the pan a few minutes before the protein. 2 portions of the protein goes in the pan, about 5 minutes with lid (don't worry you can still get a good sear on both sides)

I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To

I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To

Now flip your protein if it's flip-able and add normal veggies, put the lid back on another five-ish minutes.

I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To

I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To

Take your protein out and put it with one portion of the veggies in a microwave safe container. That's going to be your lunch tomorrow. Put the other portion of protein on a plate to rest (you have to let a cooked protein sit a couple minutes before you serve it or when you cut into it all the juices run out and it goes dry - the liquids thicken as it cools, preventing this drying out if you let it rest, the goal is to serve it very warm but not hot hot)

While it's resting, pour some sauce from your bottle in the pan with the rest of the veggies and turn up the heat. A single sauce/bottle is fine, i like to get fancy and mix a couple. Two examples of personal favorite mixes are 1: bbq sauce and a hot sauce like sriracha 2: roughly equal parts low sodium soy sauce and worcestershire (makes something similar to a teriyaki sauce) A swallow of wine is almost always a great option if you want to add that to your sauce too, just add it to the pan before the other sauces so the alcohol has time to burn off.

I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To
I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To

I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To

...

Here is the important bit. While your veggies are finishing, wash your cutting board and chef knife. Then when you dump your veggies and sauce over your protein on the plate, while it is still too hot to eat, you wash your frying pan and spatula before you eat. Now the only dishes you have left to do are your plate and fork. Maybe a steak knife.

...

The whole thing takes about 35 minutes even with washing the dishes, and that includes your lunch for the next day- just pour a different sauce on and stick it in the microwave for a couple minutes (or five minutes back in the frying pan) and you have a full healthy lunch with a different flavor

You can use this technique every single meal and it yields hundreds of combinations, from pork and potatoes bbq, to salmon and broccoli teriyaki, to chicken and zucchini in a soy glaze.

It will keep you down to less than an hour of kitchen time per day total for both lunch and dinner including all dish clean up, uses the least dishes, the least effort, requires the least technique, and is, depending on what you pick out, very affordable

here are a couple more examples from this month; i didn’t take pictures of the salmon i did recently, but you get the idea

I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To
I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To
I Had To Make A Solution For This For Myself, Mostly Because Of Depression, But It Makes A Nice How To

it's not super fancy, but it is easy, affordable, quick, and any flavors you want. Hope this helps some folks

Happy Cooking!

6 months ago

lmao me

I was being attacked by a giant stag beetle and my cousin (who is a biologist irl) kept telling me cool facts about it instead of helping.

2 months ago

Nervously checking the news to see if any famous people die within 24 hours

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