You Know What Absolutely Boggles My Mind? That Healthy People Exist. Genuinely Healthy People. No Mental

AS THIS LAST YEAR HAS GONE ON, I HAVE BEEN RELATIVELY AWARE OF MY GROWTH AND CHANGE. I'VE PRIDED MYSELF ON THE LARGER THINGS LIKE GOING CLEAN, LEARNING TO CARE FOR MYSELF EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY, ENTERING A HEALTHIER AND NON ABUSIVE MINDSET TOWARDS MYSELF, AND SO ON.

BUT IT IS THE THINGS I DON'T PAY SO MUCH MIND TO THAT ALWAYS SHOCK ME THE MOST. THINGS YOU WOULD NOT STOP TO THINK ABOUT LIKE FADING FROM RELATIONSHIPS (GIVEN HOW NATURALLY IT CAN HAPPEN). PEOPLE I USED TO RELY ON AND BE SO CLOSE WITH HAVE BECOME MEMORIES THAT I DON'T OFTEN THINK ABOUT AS I USED TO. I NO LONGER RECALL FACES SO CLEARLY. I NO LONGER FIND MYSELF THINKING OF THEM ON A REGULAR BASIS.

IN A WAY, IT IS SAD TO COME TO THIS REALIZATION. MY GROWTH IN THIS LAST YEAR HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY TO MY SURVIVAL, I WAS FRESH OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, STILL IN CONSIDERATION OF KICKING THE BUCKET TO AVOID ANYMORE STRESS. I WAS SICK, NOT EATING, EITHER NOT SLEEPING AT ALL OR SLEEPING TO MUCH, FAILING CLASSES, AVOIDING PEOPLE, NEVER LEAVING THE HOUSE, AND SO ON. I HAVE COME A LONG WAY. I HAVE FINALLY GAINED WEIGHT, I HAVE BECOME MORE OPEN WITH FRIENDS AND MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF. LIFE IS LIVABLE AT WORST AND ENJOYABLE ON AN AVERAGE DAY.

BUT WITH THIS NEWFOUND FREEDOM, I STILL HAVE HAD LOSSES. IT SCARES ME TO THINK ABOUT THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE. SOMETIMES THE THOUGHT OF OLD FRIENDS MAKES ME APPREHENSIVE BECAUSE OF THE ASSOCIATION WITH A WORSE VERSION ME. ACTIVITIES I USED TO ENJOY MATTER SO LITTLE TO ME NOW. IT IS DIFFICULT TO MOURN A PART OF YOURSELF THAT FELT SO CRUEL, BUT MY HEART ALSO ACHES FOR THE NOSTALGIA OF IT ALL. IT CONFUSES ME.

AT THE END OF THE DAY, I KNOW I WILL BE FINE. I WILL HAVE MY UPS AND DOWNS BUT I WILL BE OKAY. THE PASTS MATTERS SO LITTLE NOW. EVEN WHEN I WORRY ABOUT IT LIKE I AM CURRENTLY, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO WORRY TOO MUCH.

I JUST HOPE MY OLD FRIENDS ARE ALRIGHT. I HOPE MY FAMILY, WHEREVER THEY ARE, IS DOING OKAY NOW. I HOPE MY DOG IS HAPPY. I HOPE THEY DON'T THINK TO HARSHLY OF THE VERSION OF ME THEY USED TO KNOW. I'M SORRY I LET YOU GO SO EASILY.

best thing i ever accepted about people is that most people are just kind of gross like, physically

WHEN THE ARTIST IS FIRE AND THEN YOU DISCOVER THEY GO AGAINST EVERY MORAL VALUE YOU HAVE EVER FUCKING HELD ON TO

great. i was hoping my childhood would follow me forever and attach itself to my psyche and spread like mold. This is good

I’d divorce him too lmao

AFTER A LONG NIGHT OF VERY VIVID/INTENSE HALLUCINATIONS AND DELUSIONS, THE SCARIEST PART HAD TO BE GETTING UP TO PUT SOME PANTS ON AND SEEING THE OUTLINE OF A BARSTOOL IN THE DARK.

the whole tiktok situation is EXACTLY why media literacy and education on propaganda is so important. the notifications about tiktok going down and then coming back use VERY propagandistic language, and with a literal fascist coming into power in the us tomorrow we need to be even more critical of the information we’re consuming and stay on the lookout for political stunts like this

WAKE UP WAKE UP DO TODAY TODAY ROCKS GET UP GET UP!!! POSTAL DUDE WOULD NOT STAND BY TO WATCH YOU BE TOO ANXIOUS TO SHOWER NO SIR. YOU BETTER GET UP AND SHOWER. POSTAL DUDE IS WAITING WITH A TOWEL AND COFFEE SO GET UPPPP!!!!!

supernatural so silly bc you get stuff like "he was poisoned by belladonna" "the pornstar?" but you also get insanely profound "freedom is a length of rope and God wants you to hang yourself with it"