Bastard Sounds Great In An Irish Accent. If An Irish Person Calls You A 'daft Bastard' It Just Feels

honestly even the highest concept sci-fi seems tame once you learn BioSteel™ Goats exist irl

yeah golden retreiver boyfriends are great and I've met several personally, but personally I have a house cat boyfriend

extremely affectionate despite of seeming aloof and politely distant to unfamiliar people

my friends have seen him irl less than 5 times in the five years I've had him - if I invited people over he would hide under furniture until they're gone

haha you got up from your work desk, time for unskippable 35 minutes of kisses and cuddles

can and will throw up out of sheer anxiety because Things And Events Are Happening that do not even involve him in any way

can instinctively sense exactly when I am going to decide I'm done bedrotting and will climb on top of me to cuddle exactly 3 minutes before I was just about to get up

can be placed sideways on any soft surface at any time of the day and immediately takes a five hour nap

cannot eat or drink in unfamilair places. can and will go 16 hours without food or water if the situation is uncomfy.

unhelpful but valiant efforts to try to protect and rescue you from things and situations that he would personally hate being in, out of not understanding of Why Are You In There Voluntarily

will come show me incomprehensible memes the same way a cat will bring you a random bug. thank you. I do not understand it but I know you brought it to me because you love me.

in almost every other children's book where the main heroine is swept away to a land of whimsy she's shown having a lovely time; braving dangers occasionally, trying to find her way home, sure, but ultimately delighting in the magic around her. meanwhile alice spends her entire time in wonderland like

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Woah , my garage dog has arrived ,

I don't want to make ““doctor’s appointments””and ““schedule a follow up.”” I want to be coaxed gently into a crate and taken to the vet.

Men will literally study Paracelsus, translate 1600s alchemical texts and distill potions for melancholy before going to therapy

what if she was called chappell bone and instead of a singer she was a necromancer who raised strong as fuck skeleton warriors

I don't know why people don't seem aware of this, but going out of your way to step in and say "this does not apply to me because I am not part of this conversation :)" does not contribute to the conversation. If you're aware that you have nothing to do with this subject, you are allowed to just skip it. It's always morally correct to not step into something that doesn't involve you just to announce that it doesn't involve you.

"I don't need this advice for how to avoid contaminated meat because I'm vegan :)" that's nice dear. This information has nothing to do with what we were talking about and brings nothing of value to the conversation.

"I don't need this advice for how to stay safe in these spaces because I don't go to those places :)" that's nice dear. This information has nothing to do with what we were talking about and brings nothing of value to the conversation.

"I don't need to pay attention to these culturally gendered red flags because I don't date that gender :)" that's nice dear. This information has nothing to do with what we were talking about and brings nothing of value to the conversation.

"I already avoided this fun but risky activity because I didn't like doing it in the first place :)" that's nice dear. This information has nothing to do with what we were talking about and brings nothing of value to the conversation.

You don't need to announce that some situation, post, or piece of advice doesn't apply to you. Your perspective on such matters is not valuable.